Corona Virus

[Ballistic]

Shops beer at home all tiers

 

[Sumo]

Only if you are inclined

 

[Alfacharlie]

 

[Alfacharlie]

 

[SONAR-BENDER]

Cure found for Covid 19 by Navy.

 

[BillyNoMates]

Daycare kiddies nurseries may open in Tier 2 areas providing that they give all the kids in their care a substantial meal.

 

[Dusty70]

Wot........................no ketchup...................................pah

 

[Jacobus]

 

[Sumo]

 

[Sumo]

DUE TO SPIKE IN COVID CASES DEVON COUNTY COUNCIL HAVE NEW MEASURES FOR PLYMOUTH AND SURROUNDING AREAS LOCKDOWN PROTOCOL

STOKE - you are able to fight your neighbour providing you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to.
NORTH PROSPECT - burgling homes in your local area is still permitted providing you sanitise before and after the offence. Track and trace technology must also be used.
EFFORD- you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised. Please use a child buggy for transporting large quantities of any recreational pharmaceuticals.
SALTASH- having sex with your sister is still permitted but you must be home before 10pm and use approved lubricant, 15W 40.
DEVONPORT- Vigilante groups of no more than six allowed outdoors and socially distancing between the hours of 10pm - 2am only. You must wear suitable PPE for any physical contact. All knives should be sterilised prior to use.
STONEHOUSE- prostitute services are still permitted to remain open, this is now classed as essential services for fear of the economic collapse of the area. Entry from the rear only.
TAVISTOCK- Now declared a NO GO ZONE (in 1984), if you must travel to this area please follow all diversions, traffic cones and signals, remain in your car, do not abandon your car, masks are not required as nothing is open and hasn't been for years.
LISKEARD- Everyone must remain at home and self isolate until manufacturers can distribute gloves with 6 fingers. Please do not go to A&E for digit removal as they are a tad busy.
BARBICAN - Covid in these parts does not exist, therefore you should carry on as you were, house hopping, social gatherings, drunken parties and fireworks until January are mandatory, Survival of the fittest, we're currently testing 'herd immunity' in these areas.
BUCKLAND MONACHORUMM - nothing really happens there anyway so nobody cares
BERE ALSTON- Gentlemen are advised that wax jackets do not constitute suitable PPE whilst walking your labrador/springer/cockapoo. Yummy Mummys are cautioned against sharing their Bombay Sapphire G&T's at the gates of Bere Alston Primary School when picking up Rupert and Hugo in the afternoon.
Stick to these guidelines and we'll get through it together

 

[SONAR-BENDER]

DUE TO SPIKE IN COVID CASES DEVON COUNTY COUNCIL HAVE NEW MEASURES FOR PLYMOUTH AND SURROUNDING AREAS LOCKDOWN PROTOCOL

Sumo - brilliant!


And your dyslexia seems to have cleared up!

 

[Sumo]

Sumo - brilliant!


And your dyslexia seems to have cleared up!

Nicked cut and paste, or is that plagiarism?

 

[Chris P]

No, thought the plague died out years ago - covidism maybe!!

 

[Salty-Dog]

May have gone Viral.

 

[WreckerL]

Not to be sneezed at.

 

[Sumo]

Not to be sneezed at.

Cough Cough

 

[Sumo]

Ho dear did I do sumfink wong

Rita Ora apologises for second breach of Covid lockdown restrictions

The pop star should have been isolating at home after a trip to Egypt when she threw a party.

www.bbc.com

 

[Sumo]

Gaza imposes strict measures as cases surge


Obviously still kicking a ball?

 

[MCC is the place for me]

Ho dear did I do sumfink wong

Rita Ora apologises for second breach of Covid lockdown restrictions

The pop star should have been isolating at home after a trip to Egypt when she threw a party.

www.bbc.com

Why the fek should she get away with this? If she were a footballer or politician they would be getting dogs abuse.

Fine the stupid cow based on her wealth and give her 14 nights in Holloway to isolate.

 

[Sumo]