Well what can I say?? me and the missus went out this morning picking wild plums for jam and possible alcoholic uses. I'm up the tree collecting a couple of pounds of the red beauties, when out of the bushes a couple of yards down the lane pops a cornish dwarf in blue overals 3 days growth and a pint of home brewed cider clutched in his left hand "what you doin me ansome" he drawls whilst sipping his homebrew most of it dripping down his ovvies. Just picking some plums I replied politely with the missus hiding behind me and the dog shitting and pissing himself with fear. We got into conversation and he invited us to look round his house and garden I agreed because the scrumpy seemed to be rather nice - so off we trotted well fcuk me the first place we stopped was his garage containing 3 old bangers which hadn't seen a road for several years out of the backseat he produces a 20 litre container of homebrew and 3 dirty glasses fills them up and offers us a wet, the missus looked like she had smelled a turd when she tried to take a sip but Stan being Stan not wishing to harm his feelings quaffed the lot in 2 swigs fcuk me the Challenger could have gone into space on that concoction but this was just the beginning. Transitting through his orchard we arrived at a derelict caravan - fcuk my tall hat it was his brewery, full of home brew wine, lager, cider and bitter not small amounts in my estimation about 2000 litres in total, he then offers me sample after fcuking sample, me thinking he's trying to get me pissed and when I fall asleep he's going to slip Mrs S the pig and murder us afterwards so I slyly poured the stuff onto the grass when he wasn't looking. After a while he says lets go and meet his wife, 1030 in the morning and the old boy is well on his way but off we trot to his house to meet Mrs Cornish dwarf, fcuk me - every cupboard and shelf was filled with bottles of homebrew and he kept offering me samples of sweet and dry cider and port. Shitting myself thinking does anyone know where we've gone?? will we end up in the fcuking freezer as his next few months food ?? so I gently and politely explained that our daughter was at home and dinner would be ready shortly well bless him he allowed us to leave with two 3 litre bottles of his finest scrumpy and a promise to fix my knackered petrol mower. By this time the dog had filled 3 poo bags and the missus was clutching her rossary beads in a frenzy, I however had made a friend for life and I've promised to introduce him to the delights of the internet and in particular RR and Diamond Lils while I quaff his homebrew. I will not be telling him where I live!!! Anyone else had a similar experience??