Cooking....My way.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. When sober I cook reasonably well, the usual British Bull dog stuff and am a dab hand at curry, both Chinese and Indian.
    However I have a bad habit (apart from breathing)

    I cook when I'm pissed.
    Now the food would be quite acceptable on the cooked side, but its what I cook that kind of makes people well........sick.
    My wife says she has never found a nationality that my recipes would cater too.
    My latest culinary delight was Curried (Madras) pasta. It looks great, the aroma is mouth watering and the taste is indescribable.
    Its like chili squirrel shit, with added crunch.
    I manufactured a pot of it yesterday and today have tasted it.
    I will not be having lunch today.

    What can't you cook chef?..........
  2. Fried Christmas pud (broken up) with fried eggs, as a starving, hungover youth many moons ago. :pukeleft:
  3. I can cook just about anything except fcukin yorkie pud.
    My missus just throws it all in a bowl , gives it a whisk and chucks it in the oven.Out comes lovely golden pud with just the right bit of crunch on top.I follow recipe faithfully(and I've tried many)out comes a pile of pasty looking stodge that you could re tread the tyres on the car with.
    No doubt someone will enlighten me.
  4. Not whilst I'm pissed I won't, you'd hunt me down and kill me for it.
  5. There was a time believe it or not young Sol that Delia would have been able to have my "puddin" on demand. :roll: :oops:
  6. The last time I cooked whilst pissed was camping last year...

    Corned dog omelette...sounds good...tastes like regurgitated badger snot !!!
  7. I cooked an omelette once called surprise surprise.
    I named it this as
    1/ I'm surprised anyone was able to eat it,and,
    2 There were no fatalities.

    Everyone said it was delicious and asked for recipe. I have no idea what was in it as being drunker than Paul Gascoigne Jockstrap it will forever remain an urban myth. I am also extremely grateful I did not participate because, well I was a filthy matelot and I know what they are capable of. 8O
  8. I always wondered what badger snot tasted like. :)
  9. That's the beauty of this can't find knowledge like that on feckin Google.
  10. Sorry Sol but that Delia is a lying bitch.
    "youll never have a failure" she said.
    I should make her eat it then she would think before she made sweeping comments like that.
  11. Where did you receive you first tasting of regurgitate badger snot.Mine was live in week on the lovely little island not far from HMS Excellent, some time in the early1970s it has left me scared for life :oops: :roll: 8O
  12. Your right there mucker.
  13. I was just wondering how hungry you'd have to be to eat regurgitated badger snot, and how do you harvest it????
  14. Lay flat on your back, holding the badge towards you on your chest, the opposite way to when you shag one. Strangle it until it is sick and have your mouth open ready.
    Taste terrific with a little pepper and Italian seasoning. Apparently

    Edited to add warning. Make sure you have not inverted the badger during the struggle to restrain it or else its not snot you will be harvesting. 8O
  15. Oi you tart!! That is a traditional Scottish breakfast delicacy - and no, I'm not winding you up! If you go into any self respecting Scottish butcher shop (even in Asda etc!) you will see, by the bacon and 'square' Lorne sausage, 'Fruity Pudding'. Yummy, I'm salivating even thinking about it, and it's hours until breakfast!

    However, in the absence of Fruity Pudding, one fries up (with the bacon, link sausage, Lorne sausage, black pudding, eggs, tomatoes etc) fruit cake, scones or, if there is some left at the back of the cupboard, Christma pud! As they say, don't knock it until you've tried it!

    Perhaps this is why the Scotish breakfast is often referred to as 'Heart attack on a plate'!! But still mega yummy!
  16. Did I recently say I was Scots Australian mix.
    Er it must only be a tiny bit of Scot, either that or I'm delicate, that sounds fuckin revolting enough to be reason to lock the thread. 8O :D :wink:

  17. Not spent much time in Rosyth or Faslane then? I have in my freezer here in Spain, said accutrements for a full Scottish - the slightly out of date Tesco's Christmas pud is at the back of a cupboard that 'she' can't reach, else she'd chuck it!
  18. If I've upset you in any way, get on a plane and just come and stave my head in or something quick.
    I don't need murder by black pudding, apart from anything else its embarrassing. Some bastard would start a thread on here.
    Ex matelot murdered with a black pudding.
    Then the next twot would post "was it up his ares"? :D :D :D
    Fuck that now pass me my "Atorvastatins" and "Atenolol".
    I'll have them easy over with the Ramipril. Hold the aspirin.

  19. Ahhh, now - tablet(s)!! Another Scottish delicacy. As I recall from memory, the recipe was a packet of butter, a packet of sugar and a tin of condensed milk. Boil it all up until crumbly. YUMMY bring on the heart attack.

    Cholesterol? What cholesterol?!

    And don't even mention the deep fried Mars bars!!

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