At primary school, Miss asks the children to come in the next day with a sentence that had the word 'contagious' in it"

Next day:

Miss: "Johnny have you got a sentence for us"

Johnny: "Yes Miss. My brother has chickenpox and my Mum said not to go near him because it was contagious"

Miss: "Very good. Mary, you next"

Mary: "Last night my family were sitting in the lounge and my sister started yawning; then my brother started yawning and my Mum started yawning and my Dad joked that it was contagious"

Miss: "Good, Billy do you want a go?"

Billy:"Aye. Me and mi Dad were in the garden last night and we saw our next door neighbour trying to creosote his fence with a two-inch brush and my Dad said 'Bloody Hell, that's gonna take that c*** ages' "