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Considering joining the navy but need advice.


As you can probably tell by the thread title I am considering joining the Royal Navy, I have wanted to join the navy for since I was about 14 (I am 27 now) but once I left school I decided to follow my friends into further education which wasn't for me. Then I went into full time employment, I became to busy going out getting drunk and stuff to follow up my interest in the Navy. Now though I feel more than ready to join after maturing and learning from countless mistakes. The only thing is I am currently in a long term relationship (5 1/2 years) we have been starting to save up to move in together and when I told her of my intentions she dismissed them almost immediately that was 2 years ago now. I owe quite a bit to this girl as she helped me through a really tough time in my life and saved me from myself. Since then though I still find myself looking on the web site at the positions available and other sites linked with the navy which is how I stumbled across this web site.
So my question is has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so how did you manage to persuade your partner into giving in to the idea of you joining the navy? Or do you think I should accept that my time for joining the navy has past and I should move on? Thanks in advance for any help.

Captain Birdseye

Lantern Swinger
My advice is to always follow your heart! It's your life and do what you like with it. You want to join the RN then do it. You'll have no regrets because you tried. It seems selfish that your partner out right dismissed with what you want to do with your life...that would rub me up the wrong way!! I'm single for a reason haha.

Also I'm 28 years old and in the last stages of the selection're not too old at all!


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Join up.

Just the thoughts of a blonde ex-wren. Don't blame me if it all goes tits up.


War Hero
Consider how you would feel if your partner wanted to take-up a job, leaving you at home whilst you did as you pleased, travelling around the world. If you would be content for that to happen, then perhaps consider joining for the minimum period (about 4.5 years) then let your partner take their turn to do as they wish for a comparable period or let them go first.

Alternatively - consider joining the RNR if separation is the issue.


You'll end up deeply regretting it if you never give it a shot - properly discuss it with her over dinner or something and see how she reacts, I'm certain she'll support you and your decision.

Explain to her the interview and selection process, about HMS Raleigh and Phase 2 training, tell her about what your potential job will involve and what naval life is like (possible 9 month deployments etc), show her any literature you have and remind her that there are support services available to naval personnel.

I went through this too, albeit it was with my mother but when I first announced to her my intentions of joining the RN five years ago she dismissed them (I was 16 at the time). I'm now 21 and feel the time is right to go ahead with it and when I told her again initially she was upset and cried but after I had fully explained everything to her in the best possible detail she was fine with it and accepted it for what it was as it is something I want to do and will only ever regret not going for it.


War Hero
Have a word and explain, perhaps she thought it was a fleeting thought when you mentioned it previously; if you show how much it means to you then maybe she will feel differently about it all. You obviously value your relationship, but think of your own ambitions and what would make you happy as well. Good luck!


Perhaps a consideration would be to look into the other services where the deployments mightn't be so long and far from home. But if it's the navy and not the armed services in general that interests you then you don't really have many options...


Do it. Better to regret doing something than regret not doing it in my opinion. I am the same age, and in a very similar situation. By coincidence I've also been with my girlfriend five and a half years, went into higher education, came out with a pointless degree and as a result now work in a job I find unbearably dull.

Thankfully my girlfriend has been supportive and although she understands impact it will have on our relationship (if I get in) she also realises what an opportunity it is for me.

From completing your RT to getting a foot in the door you could be looking at 18 months maybe more. How would you feel if you didn't apply and a couple of years down the line you break up for whatever reason and are too old to apply? Life is too short to make bad decisions to keep other people happy.

At the end of the day you're not committed until you sign on the dotted line. My advice is get the ball rolling now and counter any bumps in the road along the way. Apply online asap and you'll be called in for your RT within a couple of weeks. This is valid for two years and if you fail it you'll have to wait 6-12 months before taking it again. The process feels long winded but you're better of having the option to say yes in two years than deciding to join in two years and waiting another two.


Lantern Swinger
I've been with my wife for four years now, and we have a 4 month old daughter together. I told her two years ago that I was thinking about joining the Navy as like WhiteWaters I too have a pointless degree and a job I could go postal in at any minute. She dismissed it at first as I was 18 stone and lazy as hell. Spent two years getting 'fit to fight', applied along the way despite my wife not thinking I'd be able to do it/thinking I just wouldn't do it, as I'd rather have
the option to say yes in two years than deciding to join in two years and waiting another two.
Along the way I showed my wife that it's important to me, and despite the possibility of 9 month deployments, I'd be earning a lot more money than I'm on now, with a career instead of a job, being able to provide better for our family. After this talk she accepted my choice and began to support me.
I got my dates two weeks ago for my PRNC in December 1, and HMS Raleigh for January 11, and I'm thankful that I applied when I did because I was able to say yes, and in 7 days will be on my PRNC, and 37 days after that will be at Raleigh. If I hadn't applied when I did, and waited for my wife to come round to the idea I'd be about 6 months into an 18 month wait right now.
Hope this helps mate.
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