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Common sense


War Hero

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as
knowing not to place one's hand in the fire, why the early bird
gets the worm, life isn't always fair and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies - don't
spend more than you earn - and reliable parenting strategies -
adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-
old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a
student - but could not inform the parents when a student became
pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
conditioning, churches became businesses and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from
a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a
little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone
Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Nil desperandum matelots! Help is at hand! With modern genetic amplification, once the boffins have located a prime speciman of Common Sense (BY? Dondon? Hig? Nutty? Rosie? SF?) they will be able to synthesize him on an industrial scale, cultivate him in special tanks and he will serve society as Trained Man of Raleigh, Experienced Matelot and MP (Matelot of the People).

Or her, in Rosie's case... :oops:


Lantern Swinger
Never was there a more overused and under achieved term. Had it been called Uncommon Sense, I would use it all the time to prove to the myriad prats that we have to deal with, from the lying bastard PM down, that we, the public know more and are better than them all.

Unfortunately, it's just not true!
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