Come on you didn't always win!!

Jack likes to tell yarns about he did it and got away with it.
But its always been accepted that "Jack" just never always won.
Lets here about your "Green Rubs".

In my first ship, a rum old bucket the "Flush method in the forward heads was just a half pipe (like guttering) on a slope with a constant flow of water down it to carry away the soil (Shite). 8O

I was detailed off to clean the heads and attempted to do so. Trouble was you had one hour (Morning cleaning stations) and then went part of ship, but during the hour 8am-9am morning watchmen kept using the heads.

So this old salt tells me to screw up a piece of news paper set fire to it and put it in the first trap and let it sail down, burn all their ar*es and they will come out.
So he shows me how and I did it..........then ran. :twisted:


The b*stard had locked me in and after they had kicked the sh*t out of me they stuck me head down the flue. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

 

Dockyard Club, Rosyth one night and I 'bet a round' that the 6'6" Jock with us can't deck me with one punch..!

Why, I don't know but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Needles to say that I was £5 down (a days wage?!) after staggering up off the deck...

 

The greenest rub....and the need for a lower deck lawyer!
We sailed from Freemantle in company with Hermes (I think 1967) Next stop was to be Simonstown after doing Xmas and New Year on Beira patrol.( 100 days plus at sea)
Lobbed a couple of 4.5 bricks in front of a suspected blockade runner. (It wasn't) someone had forgotten to add it to the list of innocent vessels! Guns had a right bastard on, not being allowed to sink it. The rest of us were made to suffer.
Night before entering Simonstown kept forenoon, dogs and middle. Entered Harbour my duties then Bosuns mate. Afternoon, First and Morning. (No make & Mend having done the middle.
Come 0600 following day, me bleary eyed gets detailed to chase a WEM up Table Mountain. He was fending of attempts to capture him by throwing stone age projectiles towards me the rest of the duty watch,and half the South Afrika Korps. Captured Free French Resistence Fighter (alias WEM(O) at 1030.
No proper sleep for 48hrs and counting.
Visit to Capetown left ship 1300 back onboard by 2000. Turn in!
0100 shook by Quartermaster.. Other bosuns mate (different mess) pissed.. I'm now special babysitter. until 0600!!
Sail at 0900 Forenoon, Dogs and I couldn't get up for the Middle.
Troop the Bastard.... Guns, still smarting over his missed opportunity to sink his merchantman said he'd Defend me and I was to say nothing at the table. Guns said I had an excellent case.

Skippers Defaulters.. Anything to say J/Sea UC*...... No sir my DO will speak on my behalf.

"Well Guns," said the Captain . Guns replied "Yes Sir, he's a tired bastard ".(or words that were remarkably similar ) Result 14days 9's.

Should've really done this as a blog in retrospect

 

Hermes? fremantle? I suspect the year to be 1968, and think you was serving in Minerva, or Grenville. We took the Hermes on its last world tour as a carrier in 68. I was in the Aurora (Capt D ) they sent us into Albany as to many war canoes for Fremantle. (Shit tip Albany)
If it was not Minerva then was it another Leander, its been a long time opp's.

Had to edit posted in wrong thread, senior moment 8O

 

The Minerva, aptly named the fighting 45. Those bast***s ruined a run ashore for me, came off a weeks puns in Soudha bay, last night alongside, after the usual week of shakes every half hour through the night by lads returning telling me what a good run they'd had. Went into Hania only to find that the Minerva had kicked off with the locals the night before and not a single bar would let us in. Funny thing is that some years later I served with the main protagonist and didn't find out he was responsible until serving with him for a second time some 12 years after the event.

 

Yes you're quite correct, HMS MINERVA. First commission. A real wake up call to the Royal Navy. Crewed up in HMS VICTORY ( before it became Nelson) Half the crew were straight from DQ's. What a lead in to a career! :roll:

 

Yep we did the same world tour then Bangkok, Aussie, singers , honky fid, Philippines. We however came back via Tahiti, and Mexico Acapulco,
then south America, and finally Septicland. :lol: :lol:
I remember the Minerva firing at the frenchy, you hit the funnel did you not? :twisted:

 

Couldn't remember the funnel getting hit too busy watching the crew of said ship manning the lifeboats with their hands above their heads. As junior boat we didn't get the run to Mexico just the 100 plus days non stop at sea..But thats yet another "green rub"

 

I think this is a fairly good example and no it isn't me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB3fLfNWzN8

 

This also serves to make the point poor down trodden sand scratchers have been making for years.

Just as you get everything nice and tiddly, along comes a F*ckin great big booted stoker and f*ck's it all up.
And in this case a scouse to boot. 8O

 

No it was wishful thinking on my part, :twisted: just looked it up no hit on ship.
The artois I think it was.
Sorry you dipped out on Mexico, I'm sure I had one for you there, and your Party was a gronk anyway so you was better off leaving it to us.
We enjoyed it for you. I'm like that thoroughly decent 8O

 

Stop dripping and get turned to!

 

Yes that's the spirit shower him with sympathy. :cry: :cry: :cry:

Actually 2/Deck, get his file out, we'll have another look at it 8O