Coffee Thread

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by sgtpepperband, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I am somewhat of a coffee drinker. I enjoy at least one very large (one and a half pint Disney mug) of strong coffee a day and it has done me no harm at all. In factimondo other than a now persistent twitch and lack of sleep for 13 days coupled with incontinence flatulence and brown teeth I have never felt better.

    Initially I brewed coffee in a smashing Morhpy Richards Coffee machine but that eventually died and I broke a glass carafe or two along the way causing cuts to my feet in the kitchen and trails of blood up my back passage.

    Then in my support of all things charity (apart from that Lenny Henry or scruff sweary bloke Geldof) I purchased in a well stocked charity shop a smashing expresso steamer type coffee machine. This was all twisty handles and hissy brewing it made me feel like an Italian I can tell you (and so can Toni the bloke on the Delicatessen at Waitrose). Eventually that fancy machine I had battered the old charity shop ladies down to £5.00 for (in case it was wired up wrong) blew up causing me mild facial burns (for some reason I was wearing sunglasses whilst brewing this in the kitchen so was not blinded (this dear readers is one of the only true bits of this story).

    I then went over to brewing my coffee with a cafetiere plunge thing and although Finnish research reveals these things can cause high blood pressure heart attacks and eventual death I have never looked back. In fact my blood pressure is now quite low.

    Now onto what type of coffee to put in the things.

    I favour strong Colombian coffee because I really fancy their women all dark hair and black eyes and stuff. However.... I have also liked an Australian Skyberry blend that Sainsbury's do. Unfortunately it is a bit pricey and being a tight arse I don't purchase it often. I've done the Taylors range, "Imperial Blend" because I'm patriotic and hate Johnny Foreigner (apart from their coffee and women) and "Lazy Sunday" because I am lazy, I am a son and mostly because there is always a "day" in the week.

    I now favour Asda's own strong filter coffee (in a dark brown packet*) this is good value strong and excellent.

    So.......the point of this post is not to waffle about my needs and is about COFFEE and asking any other coffee fans to post their preferences.

    *I hate Gordon Brown, did I mention that? Although in fairness he has recently secured a good coffee deal with the Libyan manager of Starbucks. In this picture they are both silently farting whilst shaking and securing the deal. Well in Gordon's case his was silent as normal.

  2. Lightweight...


    ETA, we have a fancy coffee machine in the office, free. I'm a very heavy user. On client sites I have a tub of Douwe Egberts in my daysac.
  3. What ever's available as long as it's not pusser's dust or spar equivalent.

    Gold Blend 'cos it reminds me of midnight raids on the wardroom when alongside.
  4. I'm after some of that but it's some ridiculous price. £15 for 250g I think 8O
  5. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Thanks, Sunshine! But I like to import my poison direct from the Blue Mountains of Jamaica... usually hidden inside the RAS pipes stowed on the hangar roof of a Type 42 (saves on Import Duty, dontchyaknow!) :wink:
  6. Ah coffee. I'm pleased that you share similar tastes to me! :p

    I would also add Fortnum's Mocha, which is exceptional (at £12.50 for 250g). :)

    I make my coffee in various ways. At work I use Lyons coffee bags and drink a couple of pints. At home I use a plunger thingy when I have guests (who usually like weaker coffee) and for personal use I use a Danish version of one of those Kona vacuum coffee makers. You add the coffee grounds (ground coarse: 2/3 on my heavy duty Kitchen Aid coffee grinder) to the top bit (shaped like a very large thistle funnel) and off-boil water to the lower bit (a coffee jug) and place on mat on stove. You heat it until the water is displaced into the upper chamber and cook for 3 minutes to create a good vacuum in the lower chamber. Remove from the heat. Pressure fall in the lower chamber causing the coffee solution to be sucked into the lower chamber negative the grounds, which remain in the thistley thing. The advantage of this method is that it extracts the oils from the coffee giving a much better taste, and is less hassle than it seems. This is certainly the best way to use coffees like Blue Mountain.

  7. By the way, why is Ghadaffi Duck wearing a colour swatch on his nice white suit?
  8. Got to say I'm a tea drinker, seldom touch coffee and if I do it's bog-standard Kenco Colombian. I have thought about trying a filtered coffee though, but not sure which to go for, and then there's buying a coffee maker that's good but not expensive. Any recommendations?

    Being a charitable person, SPB, you'd be welcome to join the left-handed builders. :wink:
    There's nothing elitist or snobby about them, they even let reggies join. There's an ex-RPO in my club.
  9. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    JG: I would never join a club that would have me as a member... :thumbleft:
  10. Looks like it's the Groucho Club then! :lol:
  11. I too appease the gods of coffee.
  12. Coffee is for poofs, real men drink tea.
  13. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

  14. Most puffs drink real beer! Are you a beer drinker? Are you real? :twisted:
  15. Beer is for poofs, real men drink tea.
  16. PMSL :lol:
  17. One lump or two!!!!
  18. Tea with whisky bitters might be a good proposition, but coffee compliments so many sweet things..... like JD!

    Whisky is better to compliment salty things, like chips and sailors. ;)
  19. Wobbly coffees!!!

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