SONAR-BENDER
War Hero

I was reading something else, somewhere else, which sent me on a rambling memory trip reminding me of the following tale. When we were young, and on occasions, not so young, we have all made cock-ups. Some monumental. some small. Some funny, some disastrous. As the statute of limitations has passed by now, let's 'fess up here for the delight and delictation of others!
I'll kick things off with this one:
For some reason, I was 19 or 20 and ashore in Nelson (NOT DQs!!), and must have been Buffer's Party or similar, as it was a gash hand job. One Friday morning, myself and A N Other were specially selected to go to the Regulator's Mess to prepare for the Friday Meat Raffle. On our arrival at the hallowed doors, we were sent off to some little side kitchen jobby, where we were tasked with making hundreds of sandwiches for the Crushers and their dogs (Geddit?)
You can imagine it - soft white bread, hard butter, time flying by - things were not going well. However, despite being a Dabber at the time, I had O Levels and Leadership potential - so I used my initiative..... I figured that if we melted the butter and used a paint brush we'd found (don't ask - no idea after all this time!) to put it on the bread, we'd crack the job in no time!
Well, it worked a treat and before long we'd got through several loafs of Mother's Pride finest and had a few tall stacks of buttered soft white bread. It was at this point we discovered that molten butter quickly solidifies, and what we actually had were several ugly, leaning towers of solid bread and butter! GULP!
We started desperately trying to separate the welded slices, leaving broken bits of buttered bread all over the shop. It then became obvious that it was probably going to be easier to start on the most recent/moist slices. At this point a RPO came in to see how we were doing......
I truly can't remember the final outcome, just that the final sandwich level was about 50% of what it should have been and that we didn't get invited into the Mess for a pint or ever asked to make sarnies again! Result!
I'll kick things off with this one:
For some reason, I was 19 or 20 and ashore in Nelson (NOT DQs!!), and must have been Buffer's Party or similar, as it was a gash hand job. One Friday morning, myself and A N Other were specially selected to go to the Regulator's Mess to prepare for the Friday Meat Raffle. On our arrival at the hallowed doors, we were sent off to some little side kitchen jobby, where we were tasked with making hundreds of sandwiches for the Crushers and their dogs (Geddit?)
You can imagine it - soft white bread, hard butter, time flying by - things were not going well. However, despite being a Dabber at the time, I had O Levels and Leadership potential - so I used my initiative..... I figured that if we melted the butter and used a paint brush we'd found (don't ask - no idea after all this time!) to put it on the bread, we'd crack the job in no time!
Well, it worked a treat and before long we'd got through several loafs of Mother's Pride finest and had a few tall stacks of buttered soft white bread. It was at this point we discovered that molten butter quickly solidifies, and what we actually had were several ugly, leaning towers of solid bread and butter! GULP!
We started desperately trying to separate the welded slices, leaving broken bits of buttered bread all over the shop. It then became obvious that it was probably going to be easier to start on the most recent/moist slices. At this point a RPO came in to see how we were doing......
I truly can't remember the final outcome, just that the final sandwich level was about 50% of what it should have been and that we didn't get invited into the Mess for a pint or ever asked to make sarnies again! Result!