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Clinton Jokes


War Hero
Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?

A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote.

Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?

A: The President after Bush.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?

A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?

A: "Don't hit your head on the desk."

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's Day?

A: All pants half off.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?

A: They both blew the big one several times.

Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?

A: The Executive Branch.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?

A: They both have slots which say "Insert Bill" here."

Q: What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?

A: This time we know who Deep Throat is.

Q: What's the recipe for Clinton stew?

A: A small weenie in hot water.

Q: What are the ingredients for the new, improved Clinton stew?

A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans and hot water.

Q: What did Clinton say when asked if he had used protection?

A: "Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door."

Q: What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?

A: A screwdriver turns in screws, and Clinton screws interns.

Q: How do you know Bill Clinton is done having sex?

A: You have to wipe the "White-Water" off your blouse...
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