Classic tunes ruined.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, May 3, 2012.

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  1. Five minutes to spare?. Sing this. My apologies to Mister Sinatra. If it all goes in here in thewrong format - I'm sorry.Here goes:-Sung to the the tune of "That's why the lady is a tramp".She gets too hungry for dinner at eight,Can't get enough scran on her fu**ing plate,She's not just big-boned - (yeah) she's overweight,That's why the lady, is a lump.She don't do diets, there too fu**ing hard,And diet dinners, they don't contain lard,She's got an ass-hole, as big as my yard,That's why the lady, is a lump.(Chorus)She just eats chips - pies, kilos of cheese,Tits sit on her kneesShe's fat - that's that,She broke the crapper when she went for a dump,That's why the lady, is a lump.Her trackie bottoms, are size X X X LCan't have a shower, so she's starting to smell,If I don't feed her, she just gives me Hell,That's why the lady, is a lump.She's got ten chins - weighs a third of a ton,Legs like a hippo and a fu**ing big bum,She went outside once and she blocked out the sunThat's why the lady, is a lump.(Chorus)She'll yaffle buns, cakes - Hob Nobs by the pack,Crisps she'll attack,And how - Fat cowIf she's not eatin' she don't half get the hump,That's why the lady,I said that's why the lady,That's why the a lump.(Fin)* * * * * *
  2. Seadog

    Seadog War Hero Moderator

    It'd be funnier with spaces.
  3. If BNM typed that at work, for some reason paragraphs etc don't work on the MoD network.
  4. You don't need to apologise to Sinatra - he was a cunt.

    My dad's missus got one of his shite songs played at his funeral a couple of years ago (my dad's, not Sinatra's) and I nearly threw up.

    Almost beats Thatchbitch in the hatred tables for me.
  5. Seadog

    Seadog War Hero Moderator

    No need to apologise (via ouija board) to Sinatra, he didn't write it.
  6. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I like ladies and i like tramps. Win.
  7. I hate being poo-pood by a Perce.

    Not a phrase one would hear from a matelot traditionally I suppose.
  8. Rolf Harris and his cover of 'Stairway to heaven' (Led Zeppelin) for me was the ultimate in a 'Classic ruined'. Harris should have been subjected to the infamous 'Mongol' (as in Genghis Khan) death, pulled to bits between to horses..then boiled...or something.

    Aussie twat!
  9. He should have had that done long before STH. Live on telly.

    That twat who won (?) Strictly Britain's Got X-Factor On Ice and covered the Doors' 'Light my Fire'.

    Bring back the birch, I'd hang him myself...*turns over page 94 of Daily Hatemail*...

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