Classic tunes ruined.

#1
Five minutes to spare?. Sing this. My apologies to Mister Sinatra. If it all goes in here in thewrong format - I'm sorry.Here goes:-Sung to the the tune of "That's why the lady is a tramp".She gets too hungry for dinner at eight,Can't get enough scran on her fu**ing plate,She's not just big-boned - (yeah) she's overweight,That's why the lady, is a lump.She don't do diets, there too fu**ing hard,And diet dinners, they don't contain lard,She's got an ass-hole, as big as my yard,That's why the lady, is a lump.(Chorus)She just eats chips - pies, kilos of cheese,Tits sit on her kneesShe's fat - that's that,She broke the crapper when she went for a dump,That's why the lady, is a lump.Her trackie bottoms, are size X X X LCan't have a shower, so she's starting to smell,If I don't feed her, she just gives me Hell,That's why the lady, is a lump.She's got ten chins - weighs a third of a ton,Legs like a hippo and a fu**ing big bum,She went outside once and she blocked out the sunThat's why the lady, is a lump.(Chorus)She'll yaffle buns, cakes - Hob Nobs by the pack,Crisps she'll attack,And how - Fat cowIf she's not eatin' she don't half get the hump,That's why the lady,I said that's why the lady,That's why the lady.....is a lump.(Fin)* * * * * *
 
#4
You don't need to apologise to Sinatra - he was a cunt.

My dad's missus got one of his shite songs played at his funeral a couple of years ago (my dad's, not Sinatra's) and I nearly threw up.

Almost beats Thatchbitch in the hatred tables for me.
 
#8
Rolf Harris and his cover of 'Stairway to heaven' (Led Zeppelin) for me was the ultimate in a 'Classic ruined'. Harris should have been subjected to the infamous 'Mongol' (as in Genghis Khan) death, pulled to bits between to horses..then boiled...or something.

Aussie twat!
 
#9
He should have had that done long before STH. Live on telly.

That twat who won (?) Strictly Britain's Got X-Factor On Ice and covered the Doors' 'Light my Fire'.

Bring back the birch, I'd hang him myself...*turns over page 94 of Daily Hatemail*...
 

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