Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Rumrat, Feb 24, 2010.

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  1. I did a real skank today and I just thought it was a class move.
    I had an eastern European bird ambush me in town, and as she was slutty divs she was able to sell me the Big Issue for £1.50. Now this being a publication I can take or leave (preferably the later) I did not want it. I shouted out "Big Issue" twice and immediately sold it for £2.00.
    I am now thinking I might give it a try as a cottage industry.

    So what have you done to enhance the economy today or recently.
  2. 'Recession...! What recession??'
    'Got off yer bike and look for work!!'
    'Where there's muck...'

    Good effort, good attitude and top marks!!

    But.... do you Rumrat my senior friend, donate your Winter Fuel Allowance to deserving charities as I saw 15 to 1 presenter, William G Stewart do today as, (like yourself) is so very well paid???
    :twisted: :D :twisted:
  3. Errrrm Rummers,

    ....I have heard that they can become a little bit crowded, those cottages........
  4. Well paid? I am a social security scrounger until March and then I go on pension credits.
    I get £0.00 pounds a week but they pay my stamp. I get a letter every three months telling me I have been awarded £0.00. It costs them 35p to send it me. 8O
    I have however just been awarded an obscene amount of money from the NHS in compensation, and another shit load from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board, so I am gaining new friends daily and will not die lonely.
    I might carry on with the Big Issue as the woman who sells it now is divs and almost speaks English. Its her humongous tits that do it for me though :roll: :wink:
  5. Well I thought of buying "Swiss cottage" :D
  6. Go for Craven Cottage instead :wink:

    ....or even Fratton Cottage??
  7. At this moment in time I would just settle for cottage pie.
    I seem to have upset the resident "Domestic Engineer" and she is not exactly talking to me, either that or I've turned invisible.

    I told her that her family(some of them) were the type that go on the Jeremy Kyle show and I struck a nerve as her sister is a right slapper. It used to be a garrison town here until last year, and her sister was part of the training program. Most squaddies could strip her down quicker than a fuckin SA80.
  8. You weren’t outside Boots in Lichfield?
  9. Oh yes I was 8O :? 8)
  10. "Big Issue pleeeeeeeze!"

    Bloody hell, she's not that divs. Slutty, yes; and don't you just love the way her skirt hem soaks up the puddles?
  11. Dear R R the only way to get us out of this recession is to do what good old G B says and spend spend spend just like a sixties pools winner and as yuo are about to come into lots of gibering chits it your duty to get rid of your new found wealth asap. If you cast your mind back to your payday playboy days it wont be to hard.

    Once you are broke contact number 10, tell them how hard you have worked once again for Queen and country and i am sure you name will be on the next honours list.

    Lord Rumrat of ?
  12. ....Horse-Trail-ier, of course 8O
  13. Oh sh1t, could it be my standards are dropping?

    Or could it be that they just were never that high in the first instance. 8O :oops: :oops:
    Should have gone to specsave. :roll:
  14. Pay day playboy??? (OUTRAGE)
    Sir I will have you know I spent all of my money on Fags, Women, and Booze, and it was only then that I would squander the rest.
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
  15. As Gordo has just apologised fer sendin nippers to Oz so they could be abused will Kevin Rudd be apologising to us fer sending you over here. :D :D :D

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