Clarkson

#1
Probably been posted before but i coudnt find it. Youve got to love clarkson :)

Originally Posted by Jeremy Clarkson in The Times
Ever since man discovered he had a penchant for war, there has been rivalry between the services. This is all to do with pride and tribalism and, generally speaking, it’s a good thing. However, when a leaked e-mail from an army officer describes the RAF as “utterly, utterly uselessâ€, you get the distinct impression that this is far beyond good-natured teasing. You have visions of him lying in a ditch desperately calling for air support and hearing nothing over the radio but the sound of a Harrier’s starter motor whirring uselessly. The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes and everything to do with those grining buffoons who’ve spent the past five years unable to see what’s going on due to the fact they’re all deep inside George Bush’s bottom. You read about billions being shaved from the budget and squadrons being merged to cut costs and, frankly, it doesn’t mean anything at all. Not when you’ve just been startled out of your skin by a Tornado that has flown between your chimney pots at 4 million knots.

However, I’ve done a bit of checking and it seems the RAF can field five strike attack squadrons that must share 60 Tornados. Then there are the offensive squadrons, which have 26 Harriers and some Jaguars, which may as well be Sopwith Camels. And that’s it. In total, with the air defence Tornados, they have just 150 aeroplanes that can actually do fighting. The Luftwaffe has more than twice that. So do the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. In an air war we’d struggle to beat the Bubbles. Of course 150 fighting planes is fine when all we have to worry about are a handful of mad Irishmen, but since Mr Blair realised that his retirement fund relied on being popular in the land of the brave, we’re now fighting what seems like half the world. It is an extraordinary scandal and what makes it just so shiversomely hideous is that Blair and Brown and all the other useless fools who preside over our wellbeing know full well they can get away with it.

Strip the NHS of funds and pretty soon you’ll have a bunch of nurses on television sobbing. Decimate the fire brigade and immediately the streets will be full of men in donkey jackets, standing round braziers. But the forces? You can squeeze their gonads until their eyes pop out and still they won’t moan. When asked recently if the British Army could cope, its new top man General Sir Richard Dannatt replied: “Justâ€. He can’t come out and say: “Are you joking?†Because this is not the army way. Even though he’s waging war on two fronts using US helicopters that shoot themselves down and Sea Kings that have a top speed of four knots if it gets hotter than 57C — which it does in Iraq, a lot — he still has to stiffen his upper lip and tell the world that everything is tickety boo.

It’s not just the top brass, either. Back at home, quietly, soldiers may tell their loved ones that things are pretty bleak. But have you ever heard one say so publicly? Were they at the Trades Union Congress in their apple-green short-sleeved nylon shirts banging on the tables demanding more money and better equipment? No they weren’t. They were out there, far from the television cameras, in a sh!t-awful part of Afghanistan fighting with pointed sticks. I do hope Blair can sleep easily at night knowing that the blood of a thousand British soldiers and airmen is paying for his lecture tour pension fund. And I hope, too, he realises that if the RAF really is “utterly, utterly uselessâ€, it’s all his fault.
Best quote ever The problem, of course, has nothing to do with the people who fly or service the planes and everything to do with those grining buffoons
 
#2
despite what a lot of people "think" about Clarkson. I have a lot of time for him. His brand of witty, intelligent and above all well researched writing is sorely missing from the vast majority of British journalism.
But because his views do not coincide with the "strongly held principles" (my ass!) of the far political left, Liberals (and possibly vegans) his views do not gain the credence they deserve.

Part of the problem is a well off middle aged white man, happily married with kids is not supposed to have "contraversial" ideas or opinions and even less be able to articulate them in way that is funny, thought provoking and pertinant.

rant over......and yes again he has hit the nail on the head. But both the army and the navy have come out and said we really can't cope with anymore commitments at the moment. As for the RAF.....my personal experience is that they have been struggling for years in terms of commitments. For the transport side of things. The C17's have eased the heavy lift problems a little but not by much, the herk fleet is spread around the world at any given time. Personnel are working as hard as they can with the resources provided etc and so on.

Extra money helps.....but the kit needs to be provided as well. Yes we ( the RN) has some new ships and submarines but now all we need is the RIGHT kit in them and the right people to man them.
 
#3
thinkn you about summed up my feeling on clarkson.

As for the people to man these ships we have them right now. Its just the need to be able to stop them all runing away with flailing arms screaming. If we could stop that we would be sorted.
 
#7
Clarkson is a breath of fresh air compared to a VAST majority of hacks and media "faces".
He writes with wit and humour, and I don't often disagree with his comments.
 
#12
Clarkson is like Marmite.
You either like him or hate him, there doesn't seem to be any in between.
I think he's a good presenter and don't begrudge him the fortune he seems to earn. lets face it, he is living in this country and presumably paying tax.
 

Dabs

Lantern Swinger
#14
slim said:
Clarkson is like Marmite.
You either like him or hate him, there doesn't seem to be any in between.
I see you like to sit on the fence when there's a budding shit slinging competion in the offing Slim.

I'm like you mate, but I still reckon that any tit who thinks the best car in the world is the one making the biggest noise and going faster than the rest is a shallow, dim witted arsehole who hasn't the first idea about what the average Joe in the road can afford. Besides, the wanker couldn't fit into his perfect car if he chopped his fcuking legs off.

Go for it guys. :thumright: I see Pinch always has something to say. I bet he has a fast noisy piece of shit to drive. Nothing personal Pinch, just noticed that you like to stand out a bit.
 
#15
I don't give a monkeys when it comes to Clarkson, and the people who attempt to do him down.
If a car is crap he says so, and all good luck to him.
How many times have all of us wanted to knock the wheels off some tinbox Suzuki?
Besides he thinks that most (not all) US sourced cars are a bag of nails.
I'd buy the chap a decent lunch and a few drinks anytime.
Now how can I get him to Catalunya which has some of the best places to eat, and the best mountain roads, in the world.
ps The Catalans are the most eco friendly race in the world, according to a recent poll; they can also drive a Fiat 500 as if it is a F1 car, and drink a fair amount without 'performing'.
It is a much undiscovered part of the world, so don't all pack your bags and come here:lol:
 

Dabs

Lantern Swinger
#16
sussex2 said:
I don't give a monkeys when it comes to Clarkson, and the people who attempt to do him down.
If a car is crap he says so .....................,
sussex hinny, watch Top Gear a few more times and thenguess how many really good cars Clarkson has decried because they wern't noisy or fast enough for him. He would recommend a dustbin on 4 wheels if it had a V6 engine in it. The tit.
 
#17
sgtpepperband said:
JC lives on the Isle of Man, as featured in an episode of "The F Word" with Gordon Ramsay.
he spends most of his time down south in Glostershire i think, he does own a farm on the IOM though

dabs said:
I'm like you mate, but I still reckon that any tit who thinks the best car in the world is the one making the biggest noise and going faster than the rest is a shallow, dim witted arsehole who hasn't the first idea about what the average Joe in the road can afford. Besides, the wanker couldn't fit into his perfect car if he chopped his fcuking legs off.
Dabs, Clarkson has said himself many times, do not buy a car on his recomendation, or write one off becuase he hates it. He has however praised many affordable cars in his time, but Top Gear has not been a show about which is a good/bad car to buy for a long time, it is now pure entertainment
 
#18
Clarkson has cleverly utilised his talent for creating controversy as the basis for an extremely lucrative career. His documentaries about non motoring subjects can be excellent, but I would'nt base my choice of car on his carefully considered motoring journalism.

edited due to mong keyboard skills
 

Dabs

Lantern Swinger
#19
clanky said:
Clarkson has cleverly utilised his talent for creating controversy
Clanky, you are my hero. May I steal your dit?

Clarkson has cleverly utilised this website for creating controversy as the basis for an extremely lucrative career. The arsehole.
 

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