Where you going to be Xmas day

At home, away, will be home, duty, bla bla

Me away from home but local, family invite for war, well it always ends that way, there is a good reason why I do not see them to often. You can pick your mates but not your sodding family :blob2::argue::tongue10:
For all you old scroats (like me) who don't enjoy Chrimbo may I suggest letting a banger off on Chrimbo eve and then informing ALL the kids in the area that Chrimbo is cancelled cos Santa has committed suicide:happy6:
I love Christmas ... when I was a kid the house my Nan, who was a chef in her youff made all manner of things to eat ... no tins of soddin cadbury rubbish ... it was all home made! After dinner and the washing up was done we all sat in front of a roaring log fire and opened pressies.

These days I'd really REALLY love Christmas on our own .. just me and Mrs MG ... instead we get my Mother who seems to take root and wont bugger off home until the white dot disappears on the telly (the old 'uns will know about that one) ... 'er mother will get carted in and back home again (probably by me as duty driver) having started WWIII (miserable old baggage) along with her smelly dog which she insists on bringing ... mind after last year I'm not sure who farts the most ... 'er mother or the 'kin dog! Still I shall enjoy feeding it the scraps of left over brussels etc so by the time it gets home its farts will clear Wembley!

That being said Christmas morning will be breakfast in bed for 'er indoors ... smoked salmon and scrambled eggs washed down with Bucks Fizz ... then after we've got up and showered etc it will be all hands turn too to light a log fire and get the lunch ready and on the go then one of us will go get the dragon ... if its 'er indoors hopefully they wont have wound each other up too much on the 7 mile trip! My Mother will tip up just before lunch after the God Botherer has sent them on their merry way rejoicing then sit in front of the TV and do the square root of sod all for the rest of the day except move her arse to the table for lunch. Will look forward to getting rid of the Dragon back home so I can at last get stuck into a bottle (or two) of Rioja kindly provided by No1 Son ... good boy! I suppose the best I can hope for is a foot of snow coz the Island will come to a complete standstill and no one will get anywhere!
On duty Christmas Day and Boxing Day followed by 2 nights.
Off for New Year's Eve though.
Isnt so bad as the kids are all grown up now.Used to come to the ambulance station on Christmas Day when they were younger to open a few presents.
Just hope we don't get any sudden deaths on Christmas Day, not a pleasant thing to deal with at anytime but especially sad on that day.
At the in-laws which I quite like. However the sister in law and her glass backed husband are what I dread, loads of lip biting as I am under pain of death not to upset her!! Rather sit in a room of crabs!!
Have yourself a Merry little Christmas....

I'll be round my daughters gaff this year. Finally, someone else is going to cook everything and do all the dishes afterwards. It'll end up with one of the five Grand-Bastards kicking off I suppose.

It's to be expected. The Grand-Bitch that's 11 (going on 20 and pregnant by three different fathers) will - in my opinion be the first one to implode, quickly followed by either one, or all four of the others. Then daughter will join in the fray, bedroom doors will be slammed, much yellin' screamin' and bawling will ensue. Most of the time she's polite, helpful and welll mannered...but when it goes off on one - everybody joins in and it all goes tits up for a couple of hours.

I love 'em all dearly...I really do - but being the Step-Parent/Grand-Dad to all this lot means that there's none of the old NoMates DNA in their bodies and I have got to hang back a bit and not step in and "re-educate" them when they go fucking bananas.

Even after 21 years of marriage two step-daughters with three divorces between them and five Grand-Bastards, one can still feel like an outsider looking in.

Having said that, it'll be a good day (daughter No. 1 is an excellent cook and one of the best cake bakers I know). Mrs NoMates will fuss and bustle, little Jessie (aged 5 going on full grown adult) will yap my head off, I shall have a few wets, but will remain sober and sensible, the others will be in and out out of the house all day, at least two of the adults will have a grown up argument about something or other and I shall get a bottle of Jack Daniels as a prezzie.

Also, me and the wife will be remembering little Hayley (wifes first child) who died in a tragic accident on Christmas Eve many years before we got together (aged 9 months) - so the Festive period is always tinged with that memory and we will visit her grave - I shall stay in the car and Karen will have a few moments in the rain and the wind by her tiny grave.

Not back to work until about the 5th of January 2013 seeing as they've put me on the sick after the op on the 18th of December and that's about it.

Now you lot....let's all get back in the spirit of jolly festivity again and take pictures of our Christmas trees. Having just shifted in here - we've not gone berserk with the decorations this year and this is our tree (ASDA £29.99 - fully lit).

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Lantern Swinger
I shall be at work over the Christmas period.
Double bubble, being a money grubbing civy now.

View attachment 3810

The big box on the left is a pair of slippers for HinD. she thinks that it's a tablet!!!!:argue: to come when she finds out. Thank feck I'll be at work.

I'm having trouble with my image uploading.


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The Christmas mantlepiece.

Brand new mirror care of ** (expensive). Made of loads of fu**ing bits and designed to confuse both sober and drunken people alike. It also weighs about half a ton and was a bastard to put up.

Me and the kids get up and play with all the toys etc...Mrs Spidiver does all the cooking (Bless Her)..Dragon in law and 2 boring brother in laws (Me and the kids call them the Death Eaters...cos they suck the happiness out of you) pitch up about 2 dinner and fuck off about 5 ish...then me and the kids play with all the toys again...Great Day !!!


War Hero
My family be soaking up the sunshine and having a BBQ in the company of NZB and family at Lake Wanaka. I suspect we'll drink to much, burn the sausages and get heatstroke before making total cocks of ourselves on the moonshine bourbon I've got.

However, I shall raise a glass and snigger quietly for those of you working. :)
At this festive time of year spare a thought for Bill the brown nosed reindeer.

He follows Rudolph pulling Santa's sleigh, but his breaks arnt as good.
Where will I be on Christmas Day? Well, this old retired Weapons Mech will be at my step daughters house with my dear American wifey. Christmas here, in the good ole USA seems to be slightly different in that there is just Christmas Day to deal with. The Yanks don't do Boxing Day.........until this year!! ^_~ Now, I can bumfuzzle them all with stories of the old country and how Christmas SHOULD be done. The tree has been up since Thanksgiving back in November (American tradition) so we cleared up the Thanksgiving decco's and replaced them with the Christmas decco's. None of this 12th night over here, after our Boxing Day, the decco's will come down and get packed away. The house will look bare I know, having been decorated since the beginning of November with various traditional stuff, twigs and leaves and wreaths and..... :razz:

I just hope that my choice of Christmas prezzie for the wifey is the right choice, it came off her wish list anyway.


Merry Christmas to Everyone who uses Rum Ration!
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