Christmas, the recovery.

Hello all, I hope you had a splendid Christmas. I am typing this from the bog as I unleash what I hope is the last of many epic Christmas poos.

This is the first time in a while I have logged on as the past 5 days have been a blur of port, turkey, port, ham, red wine, old films, smoked beer (thanks for the tip JJP23), guitar hero on the wii, those little chocolates with booze inside, port, cheese and port. I also seem to have booked flights to LA early next year some reason.

Luckily my mother bought the wife and I, an all singing all dancing coffee machine that has been a great help in my road to recovery. All in all I would say it has been an ace Christmas and I am definitely looking forward to the New Year where I intend to repeat much of last weekend's activity.

I see Monty has returned, albeit with the loss of all good conduct badges, did anyone ever find out the mystery of his various disappearances? Any way it's good to have the black cunt back, the place was a little quiet without him.

Anyhoo, if anyone would be kind enough to update me on the goings on in the past few days it would be highly appreciated.

 

Glad it all went well for you mate; revisiting the port course is always a winner in my house!

News in brief:

-I pulled Tuts, after briefly displaying a picture of me in the bollocky-buff wearing a gas mask. Amid assurances that she will lick my hoop I intend to marry her

-A new member today has got my spider senses buzzing (you'll see)

-Bergen was mean to me and made me cry a little

Monty is still a cunt

 

I think I know who you mean. Lets ruin it's life forever.

 

Point me to the target and I shall KkiiIiillLl.

 

Is this a new sport? Newbie killing \ Ruin a newbies life today ?

 

It's not a new sport at all. I believe it was first practised by Henry VIII's Navy but the official rules that we recognise today were not drawn up until 1864 by Lt Col Lord Cressy de Hale of the Queen's Punjab Regiment of Foot and Mouth while he was serving in the Khyber pass.

 

I had a better day yesterday. My youngest had his 18th birthday party and he unvited 30 friends (cost me a fortune). They stayed over but on the bright side 5 were male and 25 female, the randy git.

Feel my pain chaps, 25 females aged 17 to 18 all over the place and the missus watching me like a hawk.....I've got enough wank materiel in my head to last for months :cry:

 

Wrecker pics or vids?

 

Did she count them all out at the end of the soiree? :twisted:

 

Yes she did..bitch

Tommo...yes to both but I wasn't allowed the camera. One of them was wearing what could only be described as a leather tube with a zip up the back. It started 5 mil below her arse cheeks and ended just over her baps. I fought the demons all night resisting pulling that zip down :cry:

 

Can you draw us a pic then if you weren't allowed a camera? lol

 

Unfortunately I can't draw, should have asked the girls if I could have done some rubbings. Been doing a few since mind.

 

Wreckert: You lucky barsteward.......I work with some pretty dishy ladies at work and I have to constantly keep my wits about me when it comes to naval slang....lol...do slip up occasionally to the greater amusement of all...

Can't do much about it but it does give me a twinge from time to time...pmsl

 

Wreckert bet your lad got a face book account, copy a link from Wreckert jr's home page. Jobs a goodun :twisted:

 

Good point, I'll wait till they get posted

edited to add this might give some idea. My lad is in the middle of the conga (we took over a chinese restaurant for a while)

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photo.php?pid=30946560&id=1281154847&fbid=1326599886672

 

Clicked link it only came up with this

This content is currently unavailable
The page you requested cannot be displayed at the moment. It may be temporarily unavailable, the link you clicked on may have expired, or you may not have permission to view this page.

 

Sadly for me Christmas was 4 days of death and mayhem on duty.

Theres always New Years Eve I suppose. :lol:

 

That's my entire computer knowledge out the window then :cry:

 

The little buggers got his privacy settings on

 

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