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Christmas day at Butlins???

WHOS BEING SELFISH?

  • IN-LAWS

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • BOTH AS BAD AS EACH OTHER!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    118

trehorn

War Hero
Ladies and Gentlemen,

This has absolutely nothing to do with the RN or RNR however I would appreciate some help if you would be so kind.

I have been accused of being selfish by my mother in law because I refuse to eat my Christmas dinner in a dining hall with 200 other people at Butlins next year.

In my opinion Christmas day is a day for the kids to open and play with their presents and a time to spend with family at home with a traditional Christmas dinner, Christmas TV, games etc.

Earlier this year the in-laws paid for all the family (me, my fiancée, her sister, her sisters husband and all our four young children) to go to Butlins with them for a week. While the holiday was greatly appreciated, it wasn’t one that I would wish to repeat for a while. I do however appreciate that the kids thoroughly enjoyed it and my fiancée enjoyed having a holiday with all her family.

With this in mind I am quite happy to go to Butlins before or after Christmas day but refuse to deprive my children of their presents and their other grandparents and vice-versa on Christmas day. My in-laws refuse to change the day that they are going and I am now being accused of being selfish and not thinking of my fiancée and my children.

The result is a big family feud, Trehorn’s the black sheep son and brother in law and fiancée’s in tears because she’s stuck in the middle.

In my opinion I have offered them 364 days to of the year to choose from and they have offered me one block of four days, take it or leave it.

The question is - who is being selfish?
 
Dont understand the inlaws bit as you dont seem to be married, but that aside they`re your children, have you asked them what they want to do?, i`m assuming that theyre old enough. At the end of the day do what you feel is right for the children.
 
Mother in laws should be seen and not heard.

Is there such a thing!!

Butlins what a fecking delight!! First day camera stolen!! Mattress stained with unmentionable fluids. Family next door where fecking this that and the other.

Only once did I go and that was enough!!! Happy to report the place was struck by a hurricane a week later and demolished. THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL.
 
Backpacker1uk said:
Mother in laws should be seen and not heard.

Is there such a thing!!

Butlins what a fecking delight!! First day camera stolen!! Mattress stained with unmentionable fluids. Family next door where fecking this that and the other.

Only once did I go and that was enough!!! Happy to report the place was struck by a hurricane a week later and demolished. THERE IS A GOD AFTER ALL.

UNMENTIONABLE FLUIDS FROM PREVIOUS GUESTS I MAY ADD!!!
 

josiecats

War Hero
I know what you mean .... if you do not put your foot down now,you and your (YOUR) family will NEVER have your own time as the In Laws will always take the lead... You had Christmas with them last year,now you should have your own time this year..I do however feel for you partner as she must not know what to do .Prehaps you should spend sometime talking to her find out how she realy feels, as you say she is in the middle of this

Christmas is most deffinantly for the children not for overbearing Grandparents
 

noemis

Lantern Swinger
Sorry Trehorn,

Voted against you you selfish barsteward!

Can't think of a nicer place to spend Christmas!! Now off to corner to laugh histerically!!
 

grefs

Lantern Swinger
trehorn said:
Ladies and Gentlemen,

In my opinion Christmas day is a day for the kids to open and play with their presents and a time to spend with family at home with a traditional Christmas dinner, Christmas TV, games etc.



I totally agree with you trehorn, you stick to your decision.
 

Old_Hand

Lantern Swinger
One thing I have learnt in 32 years of marriage is -'Don't Upset The Mother-In-Law'. If you do they will never let you forget it and it also has a knock on effect with their daughters who will also make you suffer for a long,long time.
 
I saw my brother's marriage destroyed by his in-laws so I'd say its good to put your foot down if you can. It might not seem like much now but what if it continues and in 17 years time you confront the fact that your mother never spent Christmas Day with you or her grandchildren? That's the position my Mum is in. My brother's wife's inability to demonstrate any autonomy whatsoever in relation to her parents was a danger signal right from the start.
 
Looks like it's a bit late to create a family furore. Perhaps you'll have to bite your tongue this year but make it clear that this is the last time for a number of years that you intend to spend Christmas away from home. I've always found it's better to stay at home for Christmas for the children.
Then, any people wishing to see the family can visit.

Say hello to the Redcoats!!!Good luck.
 

noemis

Lantern Swinger
Okay! I was playing devils advocate!

One thought springs to mind though, does the future Mrs Trehorn look at RR to see what you're up too? If she does, I think you might be in trouble.

Are you Trehorn2 or is she???
 

Shrike

Newbie
Go, get legless and do a zulu warrior on a table in the middle of the biggest venue. The s**t will hit the fan but they will never invite you for a holiday again and another bonus is that they may never speak to you again.
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
golden_rivet said:
I saw my brother's marriage destroyed by his in-laws so I'd say its good to put your foot down if you can. It might not seem like much now but what if it continues and in 17 years time you confront the fact that your mother never spent Christmas Day with you or her grandchildren? That's the position my Mum is in. My brother's wife's inability to demonstrate any autonomy whatsoever in relation to her parents was a danger signal right from the start.

I would say that your kids are only young once so i would put my foot down and say that you want to stay at home for their sakes!! I'm not married but am in a long term relationship which the "mother in law" detests due to the catholic background. No sleeping in the same beds at their house, bestest behaviour at all times and a talking to by the "father in law" we he deems i'm not pulling my weight. basically i'm screwed!! get me out of here. Mind you i'm working xmas and new year so at least i'm out of the frame with her aunties who i call the witches who scare the living shit out of harry bootneck!!
 
trehorn said:
Ladies and Gentlemen,

This has absolutely nothing to do with the RN or RNR however I would appreciate some help if you would be so kind.

I have been accused of being selfish by my mother in law because I refuse to eat my Christmas dinner in a dining hall with 200 other people at Butlins next year.

In my opinion Christmas day is a day for the kids to open and play with their presents and a time to spend with family at home with a traditional Christmas dinner, Christmas TV, games etc.

Earlier this year the in-laws paid for all the family (me, my fiancée, her sister, her sisters husband and all our four young children) to go to Butlins with them for a week. While the holiday was greatly appreciated, it wasn’t one that I would wish to repeat for a while. I do however appreciate that the kids thoroughly enjoyed it and my fiancée enjoyed having a holiday with all her family.

With this in mind I am quite happy to go to Butlins before or after Christmas day but refuse to deprive my children of their presents and their other grandparents and vice-versa on Christmas day. My in-laws refuse to change the day that they are going and I am now being accused of being selfish and not thinking of my fiancée and my children.

The result is a big family feud, Trehorn’s the black sheep son and brother in law and fiancée’s in tears because she’s stuck in the middle.

In my opinion I have offered them 364 days to of the year to choose from and they have offered me one block of four days, take it or leave it.

The question is - who is being selfish?

I think Trehorn you are on a very slack coathanger ----------you aren't
married and your Fiancee has the kids by right[Mothers always get custody !!] so she could take them by herself with said Mother etc. and leave you on yer tod for Christmas.
At the moment you have no legal rights ,fiancee's mean nothing .

So I suggest go to Butlins and grin and bear it . Then get married as soonest -----cos Mother in law normally supplies the wedding goodies.
After then you can decide on what happens to your Wife and Kids and Mother in Law.
 

trehorn2

Lantern Swinger
Greenie said:
I think Trehorn you are on a very slack coathanger ----------you aren't
married and your Fiancee has the kids by right[Mothers always get custody !!] so she could take them by herself with said Mother etc. and leave you on yer tod for Christmas.
At the moment you have no legal rights ,fiancee's mean nothing .

So I suggest go to Butlins and grin and bear it . Then get married as soonest -----cos Mother in law normally supplies the wedding goodies.
After then you can decide on what happens to your Wife and Kids and Mother in Law.
I think legal talk is going a bit OTT over this, don't you???

Thanks for all your replies, it appears that most people agree with me and would rather have their teeth pulled than go to butlins, let alone at Christmas and with the in-laws.

We had our Christmas between the two parents house's again and while there was a little bit of an atmosphere it was nothing i'm not used to. They have this brilliant ability of being abl to make me feel as welcome as a fart in a phone box without even trying!!!
 
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