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Christmas and New Year Events


Lantern Swinger
Well this year has been the best one for a good while. I am taking a little time out to share my last two weeks with you lot of cnuts.

Finished shitty work at 12pm christmas eve and headed off home to wrap up presents. By 3pm i was at my mates with a shed load of booze and we had a good old laugh whilst warming up for the evening. I headed of into town where we had a few more, snogged some munter and went home so we were fresh for the morning.

Christmas day was surreal. I had planned to go to my local for a lock in at 8pm. So i spent the day with my family and all in all had a good one. However, there is a woman who i have been trying to pull for about 2 years (failed badly), she text me wishing me happy christmas and that. After a few more text exchanges she said the kids were with their dad and asked me round for a christmas drink. So i go to the pub at 8 and leave for hers at 11. Got absolutely smashed and threw up in toilet (she doesn't know), pinched some mouthwash and finished the job....her christmas prezzie to me was giving little jjp23 the time of his life (what kind of twat pulls on christmas day??).

Saturday and Sunday were spent with mates having a laugh, drink and a chill out.

Monday saw me playing darts and paying the above mentioned woman another visit but I had the shits and very very nearly had a disaster, I recovered well and got hammered and remember very little, she kicked me out at 8am as her kids were there and were waking up. And as a result on Tuesday I was rough and good for nothing.

Wednesday I went to watch Manchester United v Wigan. Wigan were a bag of shite but was a good day out.

Thursday, spent new years with family and got rat arsed.

Friday, me and some of the lads had bought tickets for the Ladbrokes world darts quarter finals at the ally pally down in London, with a hotel for the night. So we started drinking at 9am when we got on the train to travel down and had an absolutely epic day and night out in London. Don’t remember how we got back to the Travelodge or what time it was. My last memory is being in a casino somewhere in Tottenham.

The day after saw me travel home only to get stranded in Stoke because the roads into the town where I live were closed due to 6inches of snow. We couldn’t give up as I was going the cinema with that woman. Made it in time. But for you blokes out there, she rocked up in thigh high black boots and short skirt, I nearly died but ended up staying the night again.

Sunday, went to watch Man Utd v Leeds. Gutted, enough said.

I am now back at work following what could possibly be the best Christmas of my life. Full of women, drink, family, friends and food. I hand my notice in at the end of the month ready to begin work in March with the RN. I hope that all of you lot have had a top one this year and I hope that I get the chance to work with some of you along the way.

Anyone else got any stories to share???
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