Chimp trys to shag zookeeper

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by RonJeremy, May 7, 2009.

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  1. Just read this:

    I AM FCUKING OUTRAGED!! I think this article shows old Charles Henry Imp in a totally bad light. There he was, quite happily sitting in his cage doing chimp stuff, when by her own admission she started to act provocatively with a banana. "Terrified Valentina Kirilova had to fight off the sex-crazed primate when he grabbed her as she gave him a banana at Rostov Zoo in Russia".......what was she doing with the banana the dirty fcuking slut whore! Was she sucking on it whilst looking all doey eyed at the chimp or using it to simulate masturbating a chimps c0ck?
    “When I tried to pass a banana to him, the chimpanzee grabbed my hand and pulled me into the cage and tried to rape me,†said Valentina.
    Fcuk oof you fcuking c0ck teasing prostitute!....the poor bast*rd probably hasn't had his hole for ages and she go's in swanning about waggling her arse and tossing off a banana in front of him.
    Valentina said of the attack: “I have spent a lot of time around the primates but I’d never imagined that a lonely chimpanzee could see me as a sex object.â€
    Get fcuked you diseased were fcuking gagging for it! I bet the slut was wearing lipstick too! At least Charles Henry broke the bitches wrist in his attempt to get his hairy chimps c0ck into her. My only regret being that he never managed to anally rape her. She fcuking deserved it! Cnut!

    An alleged rapist smoking a tab.....
  2. Good job it didn't happen in Hartlepool, they'd have hung the poor fcuker
  3. I've seen the women in self respecting chimp or rapist for that matter would stoop that fcuking low!
  4. Is there footage? It sounds like something I can wank to.
  5. Since when did you need footage MLP? lol

  6. There has to be some chimp filth out there somewhere......there is some footage of a monkey raping a goat on youtube (I posted it on here a few months ago) but genuine full on human/monkey/primate penetrative Frankie Vaughan is something of a rarity. I know that personally speaking I would pay top dollar to watch a bird take a full on money shot face full of chimp jizz. Fcuk me! I'm bar taught and rigid right now thinking about it! I might have to go and strangle the turkey!
  7. Theres far too much monkey buisness going on out there these days,it ought to be stopped.
    Cant the goverment do something about it?
  8. That'll be because it's illegal. Which is why I was amazed Channel 5 got away with the whole 'Rebecca Loos wanking off a pig' escapade.
  9. Some drunken matelot cnut must have tried to bugger a Gib ape at some the law of averages it stands to reason....or at least tried to wank one off for a laugh and some good phots.

    PS: Is it still illegal to have sex with an animal if that animal is consenting and wearing lipstick and schoolgirl outfit? A friend wants to know....
  10. Since he became a Foot Fetishist
  11. Aww the poor poor monkey. I fell sorry for him. No mate. No wonder he got fustrated and had her instead. Still he shouldnt settle for second best though.
  12. Straight sex with females is still illegal if sober. :lol:
  13. Jesus the world's gone to bananas!! Anyhow guess the lass in question shouldn't have give the come on with handing the accused, an banana!!
  14. Not surprising she ended up with a priapic primate.

    She was asking for it.

    I can imagine it. Her uniform of six inch high heels; legs sheathed in sheer nylon. The tight skirt split at the side, displaying stocking tops and suspenders. Her taught blouse, unbuttoned below a full bust with a deep cleavage. The lipstick on luscious, pouting lips, beside a ripe banana. Yeah, she was asking for it. I am imagining it now!

    S, s, sorry! S, s, something has come up! M, m, must sign off!

    Damn you RonJeremy!! :oops:
  15. I'm trying to work out which bit is serious ....coming from The Sun I smell a big pile of doo-doo's and it ain't a chimps......

    And what's with the expert information regarding animal sex / bestiality anyway ?Methinks someone on here's been at sea too long :lol: :p

    Funny as fcuk, mind. :wink:
  16. If you feel that sorry for him, you wank him off.
  17. It would be more aesthetically pleasing if she sucked him off as she wanked him off......
  18. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :roll:
  19. The stinking bitch is lying, she tried to shag the ape, the poor fcuker refused and he's getting fitted up.
    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

    We should start a campaign to clear the apes name, before they make a monkey out of him. :D

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