Ah the old "i fell on it" chestnut given by weird folk who grace A&E with their presence mainly at weekends. Its not quite as bad as the hom who admitted to a nurse that the reason why his boyfriends stoma was bleeding and had become infected was because he had been shagging it.
Trying to tell us it's never been on the end of a Rampant Rabbit after a few weeks at sea?or maybe a hairy Stoker[we Seaman were more select than that!]
I'll believe you but I bet some 3 badger has a secret smile on his face when reflecting ships memories down the boozer.
Good luck on the auction,give the money to the Heroes.
Ron, you do not have an anal cherry to sell: you bartered it to the Chogey for a week's free dhobeying.
That said, in the unlikely event that your rancid old hoop is 'intact', my fiirst and final offer is three fag stamps and a red killick's epaulette.