Cheating/Infidelity Common Practice??

Discussion in 'Nearest & Dearest' started by torn, Mar 14, 2014.

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  1. How common is cheating/infidelity in naval basic training/deployment on submarines?
    In horrible position - partner signing up but is a proven cheat. I'm at my wits end. "It will never happen again" just doesn't cut it when he's going to spend months away from his partner/child with no contact.

    Please be honest. I don't want to set myself up for heartache.
  2. Not sure how common it is in basic training but it's a common occurrence for submariners who're deployed to bus in coachloads of nurses.
  3. No matter whether he is a cheat or not, you will need a lot of trust to survive the separation and to put the thoughts of how much fun and who is he having fun with to the back of your mind. You obviously dont have the trust in your relationship, therefore it wont survive. But I get a feeling you know that already
  4. If he's straight there isn't much chance of infidelity on a submarine as its is a male only environment. Cheating in basic will be difficult, assuming there are rules on fraternisation (I'm not sure what they are).

    However if he's determined to cheat, he will.

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  5. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Female officers are already on submarines with female ratings due to join up within the next year or so.
  6. I stand corrected. Thanks xj.

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  7. (granny)

    (granny) Book Reviewer

    Cheating is not mandatory but it occurs very frequently. A man who has a track record of cheating is hardly going to change when he's far away from his family. It becomes a matter of trust, you either trust him or you don't. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  8. Probably about as common as civil society, but with the caveat that travel and separation make it more likely, as it does for civvies who travel for buisness etc. Once deployed, probably less so, esp with subs, as runs ashore are less common, and until recently (tnx XJ), single sex.

    This isn't really the forum equipped to deal with such things (at least in an adult manner...)

    You'd prolly be better of somewhere like
    Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice

    This is the best place to start reading
    Steps to Recover from an affair/infidelity in marriage

    Forum if you want further (free) help or advice.

    Hope you can work it out.
  9. Are females on the deterrent subs?
  10. At the moment, yes and they're all officers (there's only 6 gone through the training so far).
  11. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    It's more about the individual than it is the job, but I think Ship's Cat got it pretty much spot on in his earlier post.
  12. To be honest it was the main form of entertainment whilst I was in. Only second behind drinking.
    Mind you I hear things have changed since I left in 2000.
    But. If he's cheated before I would bet he would do it again.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. I'll take the 5th.
  14. Yes............
  15. Not always

  16. Have you thought about ringing the Jeremy Kyle show?

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    Last edited: Mar 15, 2014
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  17. Is there any lifestyle more conducive to philandering?

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  18. It always amused me when Jack returned from a bagging -off deployment to find out that his missus had been shagging around, to watch him foaming at the mouth, threatening extreme violence, ranting and raving etc was epic.

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  19. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    The bottom line,as alluded above, is it cuts both ways. If there's a will there's a way for those away from home and those left at home, equally.

    If it's occured before, then the opportunities for it to happen again significantly increase.

    Whether it is common or rare depends on the morals of the individual and the state of their relationships, not the Service. The Service provides the opportunities for infidelity, but equally separation is a test of all relationships.
  20. I've just completed 3 weeks away from the good lady for leadership and, to be honest, it was hell. I didn't like being apart from her and it was the same the other way. However, daily email contact was a big help and kept me away from drinking and any temptations that drink might bring.

    As iterated, it does depend on the individual.

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