Changing guard at Buckingham Palace.

#1
Apropos of recent posts in various threads regarding gender in the Royal Navy, and in anticipation of the forthcoming attractions in Central London.
With apologies to A.A.Milne and Christopher Robin.


They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
Jack looks tiddley, Jenny looks pert,
Who’s on parade in her favourite skirt?
It’s Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
Alice is eyeing up one of the guard,
A big killick stoker who looks very ’ard,
To Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
See the guard in the sentry box,
With lipstick and powder and colourful socks,
That’s Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
The guards of old were Grenadiers,
Now it’s Jenny and Jack and several queers,
Like Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
The Bootie band is beginning to play,
Come and join in, we’re ever so gay,
Says Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
Somebody’s hoping to meet a prince,
Don’t look now, she’s started to mince.
That’s Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
The sailors’ caps are white as down,
Who’s that wearing a titfer that’s brown?
It’s Alice.

They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace.
Jenny and Jack and a bloke called Alice.
D’you think the Queen will notice me?
If she does we’ll be serving at sea,
With Alice.

2BM
 
#5
Christopher and Alice

Inside the yard at Buckingham Palace,
Christopher Robin went down on Alice.
"Dear little Christopher knows his stuff,
At 'Trying the Beard' and 'Noshing the Muff.'"
Says Alice

Inside the yard at Buckingham Palace,
Christopher Robin's still gobblin' Alice.
"One more time, then after lunch,
I'll reciprocate and 'Munch the Trunch.'"
Says Alice

Christopher Robin is getting his knob in,
Alice is down and gobblin' Robin.
She won't say a word while 'Tonguing the Tool,'
"Cos it's rude to talk when your mouth is full."
Says Alice

They're plating away at Buckingham Palace,
Alice plates Robin and Robin plates Alice.
They're laying down upon the turf,
"Nothing compares with a Soixante Neuf."
Says Alice
 

Similar threads

Top