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Cashcard / Debitcard / Creditcard MONGS.

NZ_Bootneck said:
I love it when the aged decide to go shopping after 5PM, wander the aisles aimlessly and then turn up at the check out with a tin of cat food, 220Ml carton of milk, a loaf of bread and want to spend all evening discussing their ailments with the checkout chick whilst the queue grows steadily behind them.
Almost as much as following a granny grimble in her Suzuki Swift at 8.30 AM as she trundles in to town at 30KPH, to go to the Senior Citizens Club or stand outside the Library for 45 minutes until 9.30 when the doors open.
Why can't they shop and bimble about between 9-5 when all folk are at work?

Perhaps the goverment should introduce a cull on people such as these.
We could have open season and a points system for each category of type of mongish thing they do:Slow driving,dawdling in the aisles in a supermarket,blocking doorways etc etc.

Points could be exchanged for beer coupons and such like.
I am sure there would be plenty of takers and the world would be a lot quicker place. :twisted:
 
Its not only us oldies at fault, what about the young mongs who block the aisles whilst on their mobile phones asking if its OK to get another sort of beans 'cos they haven't got Heinz. My solution is to stand close to them whistling loudly, Mrs Janner heads off, at speed, in another direction. :lol:
 
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
wardmaster said:
That is my ambition, trouble is I've got nine years to go and I don't think I'll make it. I'll probably die of a coronary sustained in a supermarket when some younger tosser gets angry 'cos I'm holding him up in his ever so important life and I fill him in too aggressively.

You couldn't fill in a request form you tart. Plus it would probably take you six hours to decide wether to throw with your left or your right. Now, toddle off to the shop and get your paper, if you set off now you should make opening time in the morning.

Oh young Master Palisse, you do make me chuckle and no mistake! :pottytrain2: :laughing6: :laughing6:
 
Incidentally, my original tirade wasn't aimed at the elderly, it was aimed at fat mongs, lazy cnuts and females. I don't mind coffin dodgers at all, I actually occasionally speak to a couple, albeit "Get out of my way" or "yes, I know you were in the war, you tell me every time I put my bin out".

And if it means that much to you lot, I'll kill Supermong and bring back Gollywog.
 
wardmaster said:
Jimmy_Green said:
And old people. Fcuking coffin dodgers that when they've done their weekly shop at the supermarket amble out and stop dead still in the doorway while they put their change away or read the fcuking till receipt. Similarly when they come to the top or bottom of escalators they stop to gather their thoughts and take in the fcuking scenery. Get out of the way you alzheimers ridden, p!ss stinking old pharts.

And then there's women with pushchairs or supermarket trollies. Haven't got a fcuking clue where they're going, and they'll always run into you, smashing your ankles. Never, ever give a woman anything with wheels on it unless it's a fcuking vacuum cleaner. :twisted:

When I am leisurely spending my big fat RN pension I shall take great pleasure in the knowledge that I am probably offending some thick, ill-educated and boorish serving matelot. You've quite made my day. Now, where did I put my Tesco Clubcard? :D

Big fat RN pension? Did you retire as an Admiral or merely a CPO? :)
 
C**Ts that dont put their hand up when you give way to them on the road, dont indicate at roundabouts or get in the right lane, stand in shop doorways, block gangways and then look at you like you have two heads when you ask them to move out the ferkin way old tw*ts that do 40mph outside towns and still do 40mph when they get in to 30mph zones and sit on the whitline cant park cant reverse never give way fat bastards that say its my metabolism no it aint is caus you dont work dont get off your fat spotty backside apart from collecting your takeaway from the spotty youth at the front door and when you have to go out you go on one of them scotters caus your to fat to walk to far and you expect everybody to get out your way.
 
its bollox its nowt to do with metabolism its trouble with their feet they cant keep em outta the fcukin chip shop the fat twots
 
After hearing the ticket inspector say "a full ticket inspection will now take place. Please have all tickets and passes ready" some mong of an old woman or young girl waits until the last possible moment to get the ticket out then can't find it and makes the conductor spend 10 minutes standing there like a muppet whilst she finds it.

Ignorant fcuks who sit in reserved seats on the train and then refuse to give it up. *******.
 
Cnuts that stand around on 2 deck (or 5 deck if you're a carrier fag) normally stokers, right in the fcukin way ditting on. Or fat wrens slowly bimbling down two deck at the speed of tree bark growing, koka noodles and goffa in hand whilst you're trying to get to the scene of a fire.

Then putting in a complaint when you smash them out of the way.
 
Crabman said:
wardmaster said:
Jimmy_Green said:
And old people. Fcuking coffin dodgers that when they've done their weekly shop at the supermarket amble out and stop dead still in the doorway while they put their change away or read the fcuking till receipt. Similarly when they come to the top or bottom of escalators they stop to gather their thoughts and take in the fcuking scenery. Get out of the way you alzheimers ridden, p!ss stinking old pharts.

And then there's women with pushchairs or supermarket trollies. Haven't got a fcuking clue where they're going, and they'll always run into you, smashing your ankles. Never, ever give a woman anything with wheels on it unless it's a fcuking vacuum cleaner. :twisted:

When I am leisurely spending my big fat RN pension I shall take great pleasure in the knowledge that I am probably offending some thick, ill-educated and boorish serving matelot. You've quite made my day. Now, where did I put my Tesco Clubcard? :D

Big fat RN pension? Did you retire as an Admiral or merely a CPO? :)

Being as you are a crab you may be forgiven for your lack of knowlege of RN ranks. A Wardmaster was a commisioned SBA (Sick Berth Attendant) or (Medical Assistant). The one that I knew was a Sub/Lt but I would imagine that they could be promoted far higher than that. Perhaps Wardmaster will enlighten us as to how far?
 
Methinks some of the folks on here need to get a proper hobby. :roll: :D

Failing that, if going shopping with the Idle, Unemployed and the Great Unwashed proves to be too much, do your shopping on the Internet. :twisted: :wink:
 
slim said:
Crabman said:
wardmaster said:
Jimmy_Green said:
And old people. Fcuking coffin dodgers that when they've done their weekly shop at the supermarket amble out and stop dead still in the doorway while they put their change away or read the fcuking till receipt. Similarly when they come to the top or bottom of escalators they stop to gather their thoughts and take in the fcuking scenery. Get out of the way you alzheimers ridden, p!ss stinking old pharts.

And then there's women with pushchairs or supermarket trollies. Haven't got a fcuking clue where they're going, and they'll always run into you, smashing your ankles. Never, ever give a woman anything with wheels on it unless it's a fcuking vacuum cleaner. :twisted:

When I am leisurely spending my big fat RN pension I shall take great pleasure in the knowledge that I am probably offending some thick, ill-educated and boorish serving matelot. You've quite made my day. Now, where did I put my Tesco Clubcard? :D

Big fat RN pension? Did you retire as an Admiral or merely a CPO? :)

Being as you are a crab you may be forgiven for your lack of knowlege of RN ranks. A Wardmaster was a commisioned SBA (Sick Berth Attendant) or (Medical Assistant). The one that I knew was a Sub/Lt but I would imagine that they could be promoted far higher than that. Perhaps Wardmaster will enlighten us as to how far?

Thank you Slim for enlightening me. :D The RN rank structure must surely be the Nth wonder of the world. But I did bracket the target quite nicely, I can now fire for effect. :D
 

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