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Cashcard / Debitcard / Creditcard MONGS.

Off at a tangent slightly but allways a laugh.

When stocking up for a BBQ at a supermarket. Right on top of the 10 crates of beer, bottles of wine, sausages etc etc, place one pot of baby food and a packet of nappies. Whatever the cost comes to, look a tadge embarassed and explain you are about £3.00 short and will have to put something back. With an audable mumble of "sod it she can wait" explain you no longer want the nappies or baby food. Awsome reaction normally from the female assistant and other shoppers.
 
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
See? it even took you an age to type ********. Can't you gimmering tw@ts do anything at a decent pace?

Collect my Navy pension. Makes me smile now to know that I have been collecting it for two years longer than I served :p
 
pugfrom83 said:
Off at a tangent slightly but allways a laugh.

When stocking up for a BBQ at a supermarket. Right on top of the 10 crates of beer, bottles of wine, sausages etc etc, place one pot of baby food and a packet of nappies. Whatever the cost comes to, look a tadge embarassed and explain you are about £3.00 short and will have to put something back. With an audable mumble of "sod it she can wait" explain you no longer want the nappies or baby food. Awsome reaction normally from the female assistant and other shoppers.

Brilliant :p
 
pugfrom83 said:
Off at a tangent slightly but allways a laugh.

When stocking up for a BBQ at a supermarket. Right on top of the 10 crates of beer, bottles of wine, sausages etc etc, place one pot of baby food and a packet of nappies. Whatever the cost comes to, look a tadge embarassed and explain you are about £3.00 short and will have to put something back. With an audable mumble of "sod it she can wait" explain you no longer want the nappies or baby food. Awsome reaction normally from the female assistant and other shoppers.

Haha, we were discussing this in the pub the other night- putting bets on who would be made to do it.
 
slim said:
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
See? it even took you an age to type ********. Can't you gimmering tw@ts do anything at a decent pace?

Collect my Navy pension. Makes me smile now to know that I have been collecting it for two years longer than I served :p

That is my ambition, trouble is I've got nine years to go and I don't think I'll make it. I'll probably die of a coronary sustained in a supermarket when some younger tosser gets angry 'cos I'm holding him up in his ever so important life and I fill him in too aggressively.
 
wardmaster said:
That is my ambition, trouble is I've got nine years to go and I don't think I'll make it. I'll probably die of a coronary sustained in a supermarket when some younger tosser gets angry 'cos I'm holding him up in his ever so important life and I fill him in too aggressively.

You couldn't fill in a request form you tart. Plus it would probably take you six hours to decide wether to throw with your left or your right. Now, toddle off to the shop and get your paper, if you set off now you should make opening time in the morning.
 
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
wardmaster said:
That is my ambition, trouble is I've got nine years to go and I don't think I'll make it. I'll probably die of a coronary sustained in a supermarket when some younger tosser gets angry 'cos I'm holding him up in his ever so important life and I fill him in too aggressively.

You couldn't fill in a request form you tart. Plus it would probably take you six hours to decide wether to throw with your left or your right. Now, toddle off to the shop and get your paper, if you set off now you should make opening time in the morning.

Crunt
We may be old but when we wrap a zimmer frame around your neck you will find it's not as easy to wear as your dog tag :p

P.S.
We are coming for you mob handed, zimmer frames, mobility scooters and walking sticks. Be afraid, be very afraid! 8O
 
slim said:
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
wardmaster said:
That is my ambition, trouble is I've got nine years to go and I don't think I'll make it. I'll probably die of a coronary sustained in a supermarket when some younger tosser gets angry 'cos I'm holding him up in his ever so important life and I fill him in too aggressively.

You couldn't fill in a request form you tart. Plus it would probably take you six hours to decide wether to throw with your left or your right. Now, toddle off to the shop and get your paper, if you set off now you should make opening time in the morning.

Crunt
We may be old but when we wrap a zimmer frame around your neck you will find it's not as easy to wear as your dog tag :p

P.S.
We are coming for you mob handed, zimmer frames, mobility scooters and walking sticks. Be afraid, be very afraid! 8O

Oh that's just brilliant. Every time I hear a creak from now on I'll sh1t myself, fearful that the creak is that of aged bones and it may be one of you waiting to crack me over the skull with a slipper filled with werthers originals. I'm doomed. 8O
 
Werthers originals, you think we would waste those on the likes of you?
You can have some of the aircrew emergency sweets, I must have a tin somewhere from when I did my SE training in 1982 :p
 
pugfrom83 said:
Off at a tangent slightly but allways a laugh.

When stocking up for a BBQ at a supermarket. Right on top of the 10 crates of beer, bottles of wine, sausages etc etc, place one pot of baby food and a packet of nappies. Whatever the cost comes to, look a tadge embarassed and explain you are about £3.00 short and will have to put something back. With an audable mumble of "sod it she can wait" explain you no longer want the nappies or baby food. Awsome reaction normally from the female assistant and other shoppers.


Now thats a good un :lol:
 
MLP, come to my town and give me a hand killing the slow ones? Can't do it on my own, y'know...

Why are they always in the fcuking way? I'm a woman, right. Brought up by a bloke, true, but female. When I go to get money, out, I walk up...card in hand...and just get on with it. Pay for small things with cash. WHY can the rest of my gender not figure this out? In the fcuking way, wthout fail, every time. For no reason whatsoever - my Dad's only got one working leg and he walks ten times the speed the other b@stards do, occasionally pausing to give someone an "accidental" smack with the crutch when they don't get their arses moving.
 
Oi Palisse, I do not know what the Fcuk that minging looking brown hatter is where your Golly should be, but can you get rid of the ring sucking mong and repalce it with the well known and well liked Golly.

Ta
 
stoker-steam said:
Oi Palisse, I do not know what the Fcuk that minging looking brown hatter is where your Golly should be, but can you get rid of the ring sucking mong and repalce it with the well known and well liked Golly.

Ta

Seconded. :wink:
 
trelawney126 said:
stoker-steam said:
Oi Palisse, I do not know what the Fcuk that minging looking brown hatter is where your Golly should be, but can you get rid of the ring sucking mong and repalce it with the well known and well liked Golly.

Ta

Seconded. :wink:

Bullocks i love the mongy avtar,dont change it MLP,
 

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