Carol Vorderman

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Ballistic, Jul 27, 2008.

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  1. Carol Vorderman's much publicised departure from Countdown has led to some speculation in my local over her potential replacement, but rather than picking the best we wondered who the worst might be.

    So far we've got Amy Winehouse, Janet Street-Porter and Ann Widdecombe :pukel:
  2. Jordan.
    That trout off the Iceland adverts (Best mum of the year my arse!)
  3. no mate-- I have the best mum of the year arse!-

    oh bugger - read that wrong...................... do not read when hanging out!!!!
  4. Jade Goody!! Surely she would be awesome at the Maths puzzles!
  5. If Jade Goody was doing the maths, it would definitely be worth watching!

    Car crash TV!
  6. Katherine Parkinson :thumright:

    geoff(ers) :nemo:
  7. She also has the looks as well.

    Not to mention i'm sure she can talk to the contestants on an equal level. ....or not
  8. What is Carol :pukel: venturing into now??

    Property overseas: Would you buy a villa from Carol Vorderman?

    "I have bought a lot of property," she adds, "and it has been a passion. Every time I go on holiday, that's what I do. I go to estate agents and developments, much to the aggravation of anyone I'm with.

    'Can't we just have a holiday?' Well, I am, I'm having a nice time!

    "Over the years, not talking about where I've lived, but as investments, I've bought about 20 properties."

    I could use Vorderman to pull out my weeds on the allotment over here. She could enlighten me on loans and how to secure that loan on my property and start living again paying back that loan over thirty years.

    Things nearly did go wrong two years ago, when the loans company she advertised, FirstPlus, was accused by the BBC's Real Story of lending people more than they could afford. Again, she addresses the issue head on.

    "The secured loans market was criticised," she says crisply, "and it was pertinent to pick me out, because I was a face.

    "I advertised FirstPlus for 10 years [her picture still fronts its website]. We had something like £1.5billion out on loan and until a matter of months ago there were no repossessions. When that programme was made, no repossessions. Did they say that? Funnily enough, no."

    I would have to go for Ricky[MY ARSE]Tomlinson for replacement that should enlighten the masses.
  9. I think they should take the lead and shame other TV programmes by rotating the job to injured service people returned from Iraq and Affiestan.
    Give them a couple of months at a time and they will earn some dosh and keep them in the public eye.
    Ch 4 won't like it but I think the public would be really pleased to see someone doing something for our heroes.
    Hope it happens, but it won't unless there is a petition or something like that.
    We owe them and we should reward them when we can.
    Hell I'd even have some reading the news,how hard is that to do?
  10. Hattie Harperson, MP, Local Acting Prime Minister,
  11. What's hanging out? Your arse? I volunteer to assist in securing said buttocks. It's a dirty job but someones got to do it. :dwarf:
  12. Ann Widecome gets my vote,especially if shes wearing 69 webbing at the time.
  13. What about that mental welsh Doris who was on Driving School afew years ago?
    P.S. Can't believe Kerry katona got mum of the year? I suppose if being an ideal mum means taking drugs in front of your kids, having a mouth bigger than a donkeys yawn, and selling your story to anyone who'll listen, then she truly deserves it. :toilet:
  14. Reverting to the old format when numbers and letters had different girlies, we now have:

    Chairman: The congenial John (Johnny Rotten) Lydon

    Numbers: The all-round genius Jade Goody

    Letters: The fragrantly beautiful and charming Ann Widdecombe

    Dictionary Corner: Posh & Becks (alternate weeks with Jordan & Peter Andre)
  15. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Can't believe nobody has mentioned that Carol was shagging a matelot who did a kiss and tell on her. Apparently he couldn't satisfy her constant demands for sex. Then again, he was a grunter I believe.
  16. I'd like to think she's a bit of a grunter as well.
  17. News Update:

    Carol has just agreed to a new contract and *Countdown* will
    be screened on VirginMedia/Sky (Channel 999) on the Retro-Nude-
    Quiz show channel, after midnight. Subscription is £5 per night.
    (Just press the *Red* button on your remote).


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