Captains Table

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Stirling, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. The Captain’s cousin is 2SL and has given special dispensation for the awarding and implementation of a warrant punishment.
    ‘’AB RUMRAT’’…………
    Serious charge Rumrat, I note that this is your 3rd offence of this nature .
    Two previous warrant punishments in detention quarters and again you appear before me, anything to say ?.
    Nowt Sir
    Divisional Officer ?
    Lt Pople Twitlet , Sir, the man is an absolute shar and made one look a complete and utter fool in a recent key board joust and one would recommend the harshest punishment.
    I agree, second class for conduct.
  2. Er, I protest, for a start everyone knows I'm not an AB, I'm a big OD.
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    As someone well versed in such procedures, Rumrat, I would advise you to exercise your right to elect for Court Martial, based on the incorrect charge and rank on the Charge Certificate, and that the CO is emotionally connected to the circumstances surrounding the facts of the case... :wink:
  4. ''Secure.....hands to tea....AB Rumrat, regulating office''.
  5. ''rumrat.....double away and return here in 5 minutes dressed in full 6's''
  6. ''you look a scran bag......back to your mess and lay out your kit.....woebetide you if there are any missing items of kit.......inspection in 15 minutes''
    Yes RPO.

  7. So there is a good chance of him getting off. As it can be seen by the woeful inacuracies of the current charge, the RN procedure for processing a member of the Royal Navy through the disciplinary process can be clearly to be non faultless. I therefore state that with this history of inaccuracies that this Courts Martial is also built upon inaccuracies and therefore should be struck.

    RR, you'll be a free man by lunch scran and I'll see to it that you get an M'n'M too.
  8. 3J mess

    ''Good job your messmates helped you out with missing items of kit.....stow this, dress in overalls and bluebell All the through bulkhead fire hose connections on 2 can have a 10 minute break for supper.''
  9. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Not really flymo. The normal procedure, which appears to have been correctly carried out, is "March in the Guilty Barsteward". All actions following from this appear to be correct and Rum Rats ass belongs to the RPO!
  10. Friggin hell I'm already guilty and I aint had the table yet.
    I want D by P boo hoo.
  11. Who's my DO?

  12. Lt Pople Twitlet here, you shar, the Captain has awarded you your punishment which the Reg staff are now thankfully dishing out.
  13. I'll do that, I've done the course and taken loads to the table, they all got hung, drawn and quartered though I did have one who got admonished.

    Trust me Rummers and all will be well, you can play the part of Blackadder and I'll be Lt George, just like when Blackadder got courtmartialled.
  14. Whats the friggin crack, I aint even had a hearing.
    Next ship citizenship mutter mutter mutter, no justice in this mans navy blah blah blah.
    Fuck it I'm going on the trot, I show em how to break ship.
  15. Your CV does not exactly inspire me, where did the one who got admonished get his ad monished and did it hurt?
  16. AB Sgt Pepper has been assigned as Rumrat escort during punishment period to ensure he does not jump ship.
  17. He'll need to be quicker than the last poor bastard who did that, I spent 8 weeks in the smoke, my escort took my place in cells, as was the routine then.
  18. Just to show you how good I am at skippers tables, the first one I took in as the DO the crusher shouted "Off caps" and like a twat I took mine off. The boss man just looked at me and said "Force of habit Chief" :oops:
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2011
  19. Styx,

    Can your old oppos thin out of DQs to provide Rummers with fitting accommodation for his sojourn at Her Majesty's pleasure (and his)?
  20. WTF is that?
    If it gets me off you can be father Christmas as well. LOL HA HA SNIGGER CHAWFF and whatever else the newbies post.

    Oh and hello Jim.

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