C**t's Trick

Discussion in 'The Quarterdeck' started by snowler, Dec 19, 2006.

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  1. Me and my brother (both time done) were discussing over a beer recently what was the biggest c**t's trick anyone ever pulled on you when you were in the pusser.

    Mine was (amongst others) a POMA(Q) trying to get me trooped for "absent from place of" whilst I was at the Hospital when my newborn baby daughter was in neonatal intensive care. I was a Chief at the time mind!

    You guys must have some top C**t's trick dits! Spin that dit!
  2. Bit difficult to beat that one. Hope you rewarded him for his efforts.

  3. Being told if i did a certain course and passed i would be on the next promotion signal. still waiting two years on!!!!!!!
  4. Overheard one recently about some PO getting trooped and losing CG medal and badges for being pissed.

    He wasn't. He was in fact widely known for having a stammer.
  5. If it happened and it seems unlikely that a PO would get done over like that I have just a little suspicion that it was a set up to avoid some other charge that would have been more damaging in some way for the PO.
  6. If it happened and it seems unlikely that a PO would get done over like that I have just a little suspicion that it was a set up to avoid some other charge that would have been more damaging in some way for the PO.
  7. Maxi, how I heard it was that some officer was in a rage over something and angrily asked this PO a question. He stammered a reply to which the officer asked 'Have you been drinking?'. He honestly replied yes (He had had two cans). He was then trooped for it by this angry officer.

    He was known for stammering, and stammered at the table.

    The CO was asked later why he had been so harsh on the bloke and he replied that he had to support his officers.

    It was widely held that the PO had been seen off pretty badly as he was totally innocent.

    Well, that's what I heard.
  8. He should have taken it all the way to Court Martial and made the officer in question, along with CO look a right C__T!!

    Absolutely disgusting.
  9. This was 2002, so a fair bit of water has passed under the bridge since then, and I'm a less angry man now that I was at the time.

    I attended and passed the 3 day selection board at Worthy Down to become an officer in the Army's ETS, I wanted to teach languages.

    I had been going through a marriage breakup just prior to it and was quite honest to the interviewing Col, who had no problem with it.
    A few weeks later, I was informed by my CO that I'd been unsuccessful on the board, I was disappointed but cracked on.
    I did a det to Iraq for Telic and on my return, at a new unit, I decided to give it another go....having requested my report from the board, it transpired that I had passed the board, and my old CO had sent a letter WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE withdrawing his support for my application due to my marriage split.
    Now I can understand him doing that to be fair, I had a lot on my plate and it probably wasn't the right time for me to be making the jump from SR to Officer, and from RN to Army as well....BUT.....he should have had the bollox to tell me to my face, and not tell me that I'd failed when I hadn't. If you're reading this, you know who you are you fcuking coward!
  10. All I can say is they don't make Pigs like they use to, I am pretty sure that something like that would not have happened in my day (there I go with that terrible phrase again) unless there had been either some underlying problem that all wanted covered up or there was a long history of problems and this seemed like a good opportunity to roll them all up. After all medal and badges is pretty harse, it is all of the poor chaps insurance against disrating and will take a lot of effort to restore. If it was as you say it does eem surprising that some one in the wardroom didn't intervene in some way.
  11. It was a woman! 'Nuff said.

    Here's another one! Many many years ago mind (1989)! The ship's MAA, who was banned from driving for DD, asked me if I would help him move some stuff out of his house as he was getting divorced. As you do I said sure thing! So the week after, we set off. From Newcastle to Lincoln, then Lincoln to Glasgow, then Glasgow back to Newcastle. ******* hell! Every time we stopped for fuel he would get himself some nutty or a goffa or whatever, never asked me if I wanted anything, got me to drop the van off when we got back to Newcastle 18 hours after we had set off (no break) and never ever mentioned it again. I saw him a year later in the Senior Rates Mess in Gibraltar (I'd just got my PO's rate) and in front of the whole dining hall he tried to eject me into the JR's dining hall, embarrassing himself in the process. What a C**T!
  12. Back in 1980 when I was based at SNONI (Belfast) I was getting married on the Saturday and I asked the chief if I could have the Monday of, his reply was I couldn't be spared as a patrol ship was coming alongside and we had to get all there gear ready for them , which was fair enough as there was only the chief and me. I turned to on the Monday, chief didn't turn up until Tuesday still pissed from my wedding reception..... To top it all the areshole trooped me for direct disobedience 4 weeks later when he allegedly asked me to do something when he was pissed (yet again). Got all the way to the skippers table where the charge was thrown out the window with the chief being asked to stay behind for a "chat" with the skipper for his efforts... He tried to apologise afterwards but, I told him in no uncertain terms that he had better be turned to when anyone was looking for him as I would no longer be covering for him or getting him out of his pit whenever anyone was looking for him..
  13. When I was a JNA on the Victorious in 63, I was given, along with my Townie, a makers by the PO of my watch so we could go and join in with the planned "Hands To bathe". Anyway, the said Makers was given in the forenoon, and this Twat of a PO was a Jekyll and Hyde lunch time drinker, ie great in the morning, and absolute nightmare after lunch (This was not understood by us then, naive Juniors) Yes you guessed it, on return from HTB, he had forgotten that he had given his permission, and trooped us both for being absent from place of! 5 days 9's a piece.
    Only good thing that came out of that was, all the way through my career, I never drank at lunch times.
    BTW he was last heard of as being a drunken bum on the Streets of Belfast
  14. Mid 90's, laid in bed in intensive care with Meningitis. The same Meningitis the bloody Doc at Fas lane had diagnosed as a cold the day before, and given me a pack of Dequadin for (spelling?). He was in a hurry to go play Squash you see, and had buttons on his arse to grab his racquet and bag off the desk and go play.

    Next day, my Section Chief (Lee, if you ever read this, your a top bloke, and probably saved my arse big time that day) thought I looked well rough and sent me home. I dont remember driving the 50 miles home, but when I got in, my Parents whipped me straight to the family doc. Next step was Hospital.

    It gets better. RN then sent, on the recommend of a spineless ******** of a 2 ringer on the boat, two Regg'ies with attitude to the Hospital to see where exactly the **** young MEM Wheel-Spanner was and to get his arse back on board.

    Bad move. They bumped into my Dad - an Ex Matelot - and one of them got a sore face for his trouble and off they scurried.

    Went back when better to a sniveling apology from the young doc. Aye cheers. If it makes you more switched on in your job in the future, and realise that not everyone is swinging the lead, then you've learned something and I'll be happy with that.

    ***** trick of the highest order from start to finish.
  15. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    Not me personally, but a fellow RNR rating who was a good mate at the time this happened, way back in the heady days of 10 MCM when the RNR had ships.

    During our annual grey-funnel line cruise to participate in one of the various NATO Open-Gate type exercises in May '88, the contingent from 10 MCM had a port visit to Oporto. On the Carron, there were 4 comms rates from Birmingham - myself an RO1(T), my mate an RO1(G), a killick bunting and an RO2(T) as well.

    While alongside in port, my mate the RO1 sparker went ashore with the killick bunting (I'd landed duty) and decided to head for a quiet meal having had a raucous time the previous evening. To cut a long story short, on return to the ship, stone cold sober as it happens, the sparker has a fall and hurts his back. Next day, the sparker is barely able to get out of his pit due to back pain - local docs are called, he's whisked off to X-Ray with the diagnosis of a crushed vertebra.

    He's taken to a local hospital, a miltiary attache from the Lisbon embassy is brought in and the ship sails without him. Three days later, he is flown back to the UK strapped to a stretcher across 3 seats; he's duly collected from the tarmac at Heathrow and taken to Haslar. On arrival at Haslar while being taken out of the ambulance, the stretcher is dropped - oops, one bad head to go with the 3 crushed vertebrae! Four months later, once the plastic body cast had been fitted to keep his back immobile, Haslar decide that since he's RNR, they would be happy to release him into the care of his local hospital in Coventry, his home town. Apparently a senior doc came onto the ward, delivered a full set of notes to him along with a letter for his civvy employer (off until May 89 ish) and then proceeded to lecture him about what he could and couldn't do: no lifting of weights, no working, no lifting of weights, no DIY, no lifiting of weights, etc. He was then given his completed pay forms, his suitcase (not light) and a rail-warrant and told to find his own way from Haslar to Coventry! Thankfully, common sense prevailed and he was grudgingly permitted to use a service telephone to arrange for private transport to collect him.
  16. I sense a "Common" thread amongst a lot of these tales.I would like to apologise whole heartedly on Behalf of "good" MA's every where at the shoddy treatment you recieved.It may have been a lot better in the 70's and early 80's.
  17. Don't think it would happen cos you have to be proved as 'drunk ' and have loads of witnesses and a doctors opinion etc.
    Might have been a 'direct disobedience ' charge or 'failing to carry out a lawful command ??' or negligent .

    Officers normally get backing by the CO
  18. But often only in public, quite often the next move is 'see me in my cabin' which is followed by some words of one syllable horoscope reading, and a less than complementary flimsy.

  19. I fully appreciate the need for the skipper to be seen to supporting his officers, but if that support is ill-founded, resulting in someone getting unfairly shafted, I would hope the Skipper would have a word with the officer in question, stopping the situation getting as far as the table or anything like that.
  20. Certainly from my experience no CO ever went to the table without having done some research on the cases he would try. All were very keen to ensure that justice was not just done but seen to be done.

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