Buying a horse

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by janner, Aug 15, 2007.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm, "I'd like to buy a horth"he
    says to the owner of the farm.
    "What sort of horse?" said the owner.
    "A female horth" the dwarf replies.
    So the owner shows him a mare.
    "Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"
    So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes.
    "Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?"
    Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
    "Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.
    The owner is getting fed up but again picks up the dwarf to show him
    horses ears.
    "Nithe eerth.' He says, "Now...can I see her twot?"
    With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and
    shoves his head
    deep inside the horse's v*gina. He holds him there for a couple of
    before pulling him out and putting him down.
    The dwarf shakes his head and says:

    "Perhaps I should weefwaze that. Can I see her wun awound?"
  2. :thumright:

    Loved it !!
  3. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Rabbie Burns' Ode to the Terrorists

    'Twas doon by Inch o'Abbots
    Oor Jonny walked one day
    When he saw a sicht that troubled him
    Far more than he could say
    A fanatic muslim b'stard
    Wiz doin what he'd planned.
    And intae Glesca's departure hall
    A Cherokee he'd rammed.

    A big Glaswegian polis
    Came forward tae assist.
    He thocht "a wumman driver"
    Or at least someone half pissed
    But tae his shock nae druken Jock
    Emerged to grasp his hand
    But a flaming Arab loony
    Frae Al Qaeda' evil band.

    The mad Islamist nut-case
    Had set hissel' on fire
    And swung oot at the polis
    GBH his clear desire.
    Now that's nae richt wur Jonny cried
    And sailed intae the fray.
    A left hook and a heid butt
    Required to save the day.

    Now listen up Bin Laden
    Yir sort's nae wanted here
    For imported English radicals
    Us Scotsmen huv nae fear.
    Oor hame grown Glesca Asians
    Will have nae bliudy truck
    So tak yer worldwide Jihad
    An' get yersel' tae F***.

    Anon (fir noo)
  4. PMSL Janner

    Just loved the Dorset accent you managed to write into the poem so well.



    Are you going to Coventry?
  5. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Wife sends me there frequently, but not to the re union. Hopefully one year. I'm still working, part time, at the moment.

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