burning sensation

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#1
t'other night i had a chicken satay with a chilli sauce dip, apprently it was one of the hottest ones around. FECK never again next morning i regreted it as i was taking a shit it starting burning my hoop then what made it worse was i were wiping so hard i acctualy cut my chilli ring right open, at this point it felt like my arse was on fire. as i sat there trying not to scream i noticed a tub of soothing cream i quickly applied it were neseccery and it instantly gave a cooling affect but i sure kept feeling it for the next couple of days.


anyone else had accidents with chilli's or other spicy substances?
 
#2
Whilst wooing a young lady of dubious morals I cooked her a Thai green curry. So delighted with my culinary genius was she that she demanded a ploughing rather than a duff.

Within minutes she was crying in the bathroom splashing water on her minge because I still had chilli on my fingers from where I chopped the little fcukers up.

I was pissing myself, didn't put the dirty little perma-tanned Geordie slag off though.

I also once had a Phal that felt like it had eaten through my insides and I was shitting out molten innards. Thanks Madrasi of Gateshead, you sadistic cnuts.
 

tufty

Lantern Swinger
#3
chrisj09 said:
t'other night i had a chicken satay with a chilli sauce dip, apprently it was one of the hottest ones around. FECK never again next morning i regreted it as i was taking a shit it starting burning my hoop then what made it worse was i were wiping so hard i acctualy cut my chilli ring right open, at this point it felt like my arse was on fire. as i sat there trying not to scream i noticed a tub of soothing cream i quickly applied it were neseccery and it instantly gave a cooling affect but i sure kept feeling it for the next couple of days.


anyone else had accidents with chilli's or other spicy substances?
Chicken Satay with a chilli sauce dip - the correct term for that is "Johnny Cash Curry . . ."
 

chrisj09

Lantern Swinger
#4
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
Whilst wooing a young lady of dubious morals I cooked her a Thai green curry. So delighted with my culinary genius was she that she demanded a ploughing rather than a duff.

Within minutes she was crying in the bathroom splashing water on her minge because I still had chilli on my fingers from where I chopped the little fcukers up.

I was pissing myself, didn't put the dirty little perma-tanned Geordie slag off though.

I also once had a Phal that felt like it had eaten through my insides and I was shitting out molten innards. Thanks Madrasi of Gateshead, you sadistic cnuts.
lmfao. my mate just said his dad was cutting up something spicy didnt wash his hand then went fora piss.
 
#9
Last time I had a phal, I knew I was in trouble when the entire kitchen staff turned out to watch us eat it.

I had to drive back the following day and by the time I was going past the hospital I was biting the steering wheel in agony. I was so tempted to go into A&E to ask for an ice water enema. (But I manfully held on all the way to Pompey)
 
#13
Streaky said:
wardmaster said:
Streaky said:
chrisj09 said:
Dr.Zoidberg said:
Try rubbing deep heat on your bollocks.

nah oblis oil in the eye is bad enough lol
Does that give the same effect as olbis oil?
Or even Olbas Oil?
Hhhmmm!
Glasshouses and people are springing to mind.
With an occasional boulder.
Whoops ducky, well pardon me; only trying to be useful I'm sure! :pottytrain2:
 
#14
wardmaster said:
Streaky said:
wardmaster said:
Streaky said:
chrisj09 said:
Dr.Zoidberg said:
Try rubbing deep heat on your bollocks.

nah oblis oil in the eye is bad enough lol
Does that give the same effect as olbis oil?
Or even Olbas Oil?
Hhhmmm!
Glasshouses and people are springing to mind.
With an occasional boulder.
Whoops ducky, well pardon me; only trying to be useful I'm sure! :pottytrain2:
That was supposed to be irony, directed against myself.
You're not a Septic, are you?
(Do I have to insert a smiley here, or are you now up to speed?)
 
#15
chrisj09 said:
im acctualy tempted to try a phal now , * phones indian takea way
Phal's are easy, eat it enjoy it and then drink a pint of milk, or better still have a bowl of something with custard.
Failing that do what the fiendish little fcukers who cook it do, eat yogurt.

But always remember the yorkie code,
Its not for girls. :D :roll: :wink:
 
#17
UncleAlbert said:
Try toothpaste up your assole..

don`t ask!!


...
Just because the tube burst as you reach the stroke don't give up.

I'm a china man and I'm no fool,
I use Persil to wash my tool,
My wife to is very canny,
She uses bold to scrub her f*nny,
If you must know where the yellow went,
I clean my b*lls with pepsodent.
 
#18
I can recommend red Tiger Balm applied to your pork chipolata or if you're really adventurous, a crushed Jalapeno poking out of your piccolo-pipe, just before assisting Monty on his Special Project. :biggrin:
 
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