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Brummie walks into a tailor's...

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
"Alroit mate I'd like a 70s suit please"

Tailor says:
"Certainly sir, and would you like a kipper tie?"

Brummie says:
"Thanks mate, 2 sugars"
 

sulzer

Lantern Swinger
Man walks into Gieves & Hawkes
Man to assistant "I would like a clip om bow tie."
Assistant to man
"Sir, this is a gentleman's oufitter. Not a novelty shop!"
 

leeblease

Badgeman
A brummie walks into a trophy shop, and asks the counter assistant if he has any trophies sculpted like a dog.

counter assistant says "18 carrat"

brummie says " no chewin a bone"
 

skyvet

GCM
Geordie is in London, and is standing outside Buck House when the Queen spots him from her window. She sends a flunkie down to invite Geordie up for a cuppa. As she pours him a cuppa, she notices him eyeing up a plate of cream cakes, and asks "would you like a cream slice or a meringue"?
"Nah, you're not wong Hinny, I like cream cakes"!
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
White van man to pedestrian:
"S'cuse me mate does yow now if there's a B & Q in Wolverhampton?"

Pedestrian:
"Sorry mate oi don't, but I nows theres 2 D's in Dudley"

+++++

During the war, a British General visited an Army Hospital of the South Staffordshire Regiment.
Sensing a doom and gloom atmosphere he tried to rally the men by asking "Now
you men didn't come here to die did you?" To which Aynuk and Ayli replied " Na
sur, way booth coomd ere yesterdie."

+++++++

Wots the difference between a buffalo and a bison
You cor wash yer onds in a buffalo

+++++

What do they call "Toys -R- Us in Dudley ?
"Toys Am We"

+++++++

Man walks into a jewellers shop. 'Ay yo got some rings?' 'Certainly, Sir. Eighteen carat?' 'No, chewing tobacca'
 
My Black Country friend gets most indignant if anyone calls her a Brummie.


Stripey_G. I thought some of them jokes were bostin. I'm not sure that threatening to shoot a wammel is very nice, though.
 

Stripey_G

War Hero
To be honest, I don't come from the Yam Yam side of Brum (who would want to?) but last time I visited there, couldn't understand a bloody word they were on about!!

P_O_L.....thought they were bostin' too!! and I wouldn't really shoot the wammel.....people have been sending me nudes!! :thumright:
 
Stripey_G said:
To be honest, I don't come from the Yam Yam side of Brum (who would want to?) but last time I visited there, couldn't understand a bloody word they were on about!!

I know what you mean. If I ever venture over to the dark side (i.e. the Black Country) I need to take my Brummie to Black Country dictionary, even then a lot gets lost in translation. :thumright:
 

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