Brummie walks into a tailor's...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by sgtpepperband, Nov 13, 2007.

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  1. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    "Alroit mate I'd like a 70s suit please"

    Tailor says:
    "Certainly sir, and would you like a kipper tie?"

    Brummie says:
    "Thanks mate, 2 sugars"
  2. Man walks into Gieves & Hawkes
    Man to assistant "I would like a clip om bow tie."
    Assistant to man
    "Sir, this is a gentleman's oufitter. Not a novelty shop!"
  3. A brummie walks into a trophy shop, and asks the counter assistant if he has any trophies sculpted like a dog.

    counter assistant says "18 carrat"

    brummie says " no chewin a bone"
  4. Geordie is in London, and is standing outside Buck House when the Queen spots him from her window. She sends a flunkie down to invite Geordie up for a cuppa. As she pours him a cuppa, she notices him eyeing up a plate of cream cakes, and asks "would you like a cream slice or a meringue"?
    "Nah, you're not wong Hinny, I like cream cakes"!
  5. A, Yo!! stop tekin the piss outa us Brummies!!!! :threaten: :threaten:
  6. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    White van man to pedestrian:
    "S'cuse me mate does yow now if there's a B & Q in Wolverhampton?"

    "Sorry mate oi don't, but I nows theres 2 D's in Dudley"


    During the war, a British General visited an Army Hospital of the South Staffordshire Regiment.
    Sensing a doom and gloom atmosphere he tried to rally the men by asking "Now
    you men didn't come here to die did you?" To which Aynuk and Ayli replied " Na
    sur, way booth coomd ere yesterdie."


    Wots the difference between a buffalo and a bison
    You cor wash yer onds in a buffalo


    What do they call "Toys -R- Us in Dudley ?
    "Toys Am We"


    Man walks into a jewellers shop. 'Ay yo got some rings?' 'Certainly, Sir. Eighteen carat?' 'No, chewing tobacca'
  7. BZ SgtP.....obviously you find us!! :thumright:
  8. My Black Country friend gets most indignant if anyone calls her a Brummie.

    Stripey_G. I thought some of them jokes were bostin. I'm not sure that threatening to shoot a wammel is very nice, though.
  9. To be honest, I don't come from the Yam Yam side of Brum (who would want to?) but last time I visited there, couldn't understand a bloody word they were on about!!

    P_O_L.....thought they were bostin' too!! and I wouldn't really shoot the wammel.....people have been sending me nudes!! :thumright:
  10. I know what you mean. If I ever venture over to the dark side (i.e. the Black Country) I need to take my Brummie to Black Country dictionary, even then a lot gets lost in translation. :thumright:

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