Bricks'n'Mortar Pier-Head JUMP!

#1
Finally. I'll be shifting my shit to a new 'ouse round about 18/10/12. It's a ball-ache isn't it?
A thousand change of address notifications, telephone calls, cancelling stuff, meter reading,
contract signing and all that other crap associated with going from one shed to another.
THEN - it'll be a complete house "makeover" followed by another house "makeover" not
forgetting the delights of rippin' out the kitchen that's already in there....it's bright fucking
YELLOW!! No - honestly....like having your breakfast inside a big banana. Going to cost an
arm and several legs, but what-ho.....let's get it done.

Now for a question. I been with Virgin Media for ever, and could take the stuff with me, but
is there anything better, faster, shinier that comes with glowing recommend from you RR
Crew?

Otherwise I shall be talking to Gupta Patel all fucking night trying valiantly to arrange
a transfer date for every bastard thing....and you just know that it will not go well.

BT? Talk-Talk? Any suggestions?

I shall check in on the end of my 3G Dongle - should they pull the fucking plug on everything
as I have just sent a request to get myself unplugged on the 18th of October....but I don't
hold out too much hope of an on-line request being very successful (VirginMedia website
came up with *Oooops! we have encountered a problem with your request yakkity yakkity
etc blah blah*)

I don't want to hang off a phone all night blabbing to someone in a Mosque on tuther side
of the world...but needs must I suppose.

We shall see how it all goes.

BillyNoFuckingHouse

X X X

p.s. Them little red pills the quack gave me are doing the trick. I no longer feel as depressed
as I did. Just stressed out to f*ck with this "all-up-in-the-air-suddenly-everyone-can-exchange-
contracts-and-it-better-not-get-fucked-up-again house move, but that's just normal stuff.
There's an original Anderson Air-raid shelter at the bottom of my new garden. I shall be
converting it into my new bolt-hole at the earliest opportunity.
(Photos will be provided as and when). Me and her indoors are getting along a little better
now and besides - I'll have a shit load of cash in the bank for once and that always makes
a person happier.

Now......how do I get the backs off these fucking recliner sofas?? Waaaarrggghhhhh!
 
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Sumo

War Hero
#2
I use sky mainly because, I cannot get any of the fiber optic suppliers, even though, Virgin dug up or road and caused havoc for about 4 months, they will not install.
I live on a road which is part maintained and part Private, so when I give them my post code they say private road, even when I politely explain they made our lives a misery for 4 months and we have empty cable troughs outside our house, they will not come and look.
Strange the road outside my house has a different name to the one my address says I live on.
Taxi drivers always drive past and have to come back, as according to Tom Tom and Google maps our road stars at 20?
I find sky OK but a rip-off in my opinion.
 
#3
I use sky mainly because, I cannot get any of the fiber optic suppliers, even though, Virgin dug up or road and caused havoc for about 4 months, they will not install.
I live on a road which is part maintained and part Private, so when I give them my post code they say private road, even when I politely explain they made our lives a misery for 4 months and we have empty cable troughs outside our house, they will not come and look.
Strange the road outside my house has a different name to the one my address says I live on.

Taxi drivers always drive past and have to come back, as according to Tom Tom and Google maps our road stars at 20?
I find sky OK but a rip-off in my opinion.
Ta for the input Sumo.

It'll be a pain in the arse changing all me E-mail accounts come to think of it, so I shall probably hang in with Vermin Media for Broadband....but might look to others for TV/Phone. Meanwhile - back to these fucking sofas:-


(Naaahhh - think I'll burn 'em out the back and claim on the insurance)

 
G

guestm

Guest
#5
BT absolutely no. IMO the worst collection of shitfuckingcunts ever to spill from the giant pot of shite customer service and tarnish God's green earth.

Avoid the twat scabs at all costs.

I think they're all gash but go with Sky as they're slightly less gash than all the others.
 

KATWEEZIL

Lantern Swinger
#6
BNM
I am the Telecoms Engineer for my local cable company (Smallworld). If you can I'd go with the local Cable Company, not because i'm biased but purely because you'll get better service through the Cable rather than the Telephone wires (The COAX cable is a thick bastard but a decent Cable - friendly wireless router will sort that problem) otherwise unless you want Fibre (and can get it) then try this website.

SamKnows - Accurate broadband performance information for consumers, governments and ISPs

Best to remember that decent broadband speed depends on the following
  • How near you are to the Telephone exchange - The nearer you are, the less joints in the telephone wires.
  • How good is the wiring in your house - If it's crap then this can really bollox the speed. If there are extension sockets then best thing is to disconnect them from the main BT Socket and buy yourself a Cordless handset. The less REN's on the line the better.
  • The age of the house will give you a fair Idea of the quality of the wiring to the exchange ie the older the building the older the wiring. However watch out for 1970's builds. Round about that time the then PO Telephones installed Aluminum wiring instead of copper - ADSL doesn't work as well on this.

Hope this helps
KAT
 
#8
BNM
I am the Telecoms Engineer for my local cable company (Smallworld). If you can I'd go with the local Cable Company, not because i'm biased but purely because you'll get better service through the Cable rather than the Telephone wires (The COAX cable is a thick bastard but a decent Cable - friendly wireless router will sort that problem) otherwise unless you want Fibre (and can get it) then try this website.

SamKnows - Accurate broadband performance information for consumers, governments and ISPs

Best to remember that decent broadband speed depends on the following
  • How near you are to the Telephone exchange - The nearer you are, the less joints in the telephone wires.
  • How good is the wiring in your house - If it's crap then this can really bollox the speed. If there are extension sockets then best thing is to disconnect them from the main BT Socket and buy yourself a Cordless handset. The less REN's on the line the better.
  • The age of the house will give you a fair Idea of the quality of the wiring to the exchange ie the older the building the older the wiring. However watch out for 1970's builds. Round about that time the then PO Telephones installed Aluminum wiring instead of copper - ADSL doesn't work as well on this.

Hope this helps
KAT

From the SamKnoes website:

"NOTE: Our Whiteboxes download approximately 3GB per month and upload around 1GB. If you’re on a product with a low usage cap then we’d advise against signing up, or at least informing us beforehand so that we can apply a different testing profile."

What are they downloading?
 
#9
My two penneth ... depends on who you can get. Vermin doesn't cover the Isle of Wight and although we have "Wight Cable" who did much the same as Sumo ... dug up the roads and made life unbearable for months on end ... mainly as the [email protected] went broke and had to be bought out ... but they still haven't made the connections out to the sticks.

End result is we went with Sky for TV ... mainly as the whoever owns Rowridge Transmitter wont turn the masts up to full power so we can't get the freeview channels our side of the downs ... the excuse was that if they whack the trasmitters up to full blat so the signal gets over the downs the French can pick the signal up and complain! Could have gone for FreeSat but it wasn't going when I got Sky and when I went to cancel, Sky came up with a very good deal involving an upgraded package an engineer and a decent HD box free gratis and for nothing!

The problem with the BT Vision / Talk Talk for TV is that its coming down the Telephone wire so unless you are kitted out with the latest fibre optic cables you are dependant on copper cable and the distance from the exchange which reduces bandwidth so I suppose the phone/ broadband is probably up to you and see what the best deal you can get.

Probably not a lot of help! Glad the red smarties are working!
 

KATWEEZIL

Lantern Swinger
#12
From the SamKnoes website:

"NOTE: Our Whiteboxes download approximately 3GB per month and upload around 1GB. If you’re on a product with a low usage cap then we’d advise against signing up, or at least informing us beforehand so that we can apply a different testing profile."

What are they downloading?
Here is the answer from the webste

n both cases the Whitebox can be used in either the home or office to measure broadband performance and provide you with an accurate record of your ISP's performance, which can be used to monitor your SLA and help troubleshoot any line performance issues.
I dont think it monitors content of The websites you go on - just the Speed and route of the data packets. Any shortcomings and the data can be presented to your ISP and if required OFCOM
 
#13
THREE FU**ING DAYS!!!!! THAT'S 1-2-3 DAYS!!!!

I've been tryin' to get through to bastard VERMIN MEDIA, after they left a message on my machine to contact them
about taking all me telly boxes with me. Ever listened to to classical music for about half a fucking hour every time
you make a call???
Yes?
Same here!
Fuck knows how big my phone bill is going to be...and now we've hit another wall of stupidity.

Changing address for the two motors we have (Insured through Saga...yes I know). Got one
policy changed and informed them that the motor will be in its own garage or off the highway
on a soddin' private driveway and so....my premiums go down by a few quid......result!
Just called Saga Select (Same name but car with a different "Saga Selected" insurance
broker....and the fuckers have informed me that I'm moving to a *High Risk Area* and want
another £80 out of me.
Can you guess how the phone conversation went after that??? Rapidly downhill I can tell you.
So.......Saga (original insurer for car No. 1) says okay it'll cost you less. and THEN Saga Select
say "Ooooooohhh they rape, rob, pillage and plunder down that postcode, can we have some
more money please?" (For car No. 2 - same address, parked in big garage/driveway etc.)
Upset? Mois?
This rant will be updated when I get Saga Select and their other chosen insurer to back down
and understand that I shall NOT be taking this shite in a meek and mild manner.

Time for a little red pill methinks.

Luv'n'Hugs,

Billy
 
#14
THREE FU**ING DAYS!!!!! THAT'S 1-2-3 DAYS!!!!

I've been tryin' to get through to bastard VERMIN MEDIA, after they left a message on my machine to contact them
about taking all me telly boxes with me. Ever listened to to classical music for about half a fucking hour every time
you make a call???
Yes?
Same here!
Fuck knows how big my phone bill is going to be...and now we've hit another wall of stupidity.

Changing address for the two motors we have (Insured through Saga...yes I know). Got one
policy changed and informed them that the motor will be in its own garage or off the highway
on a soddin' private driveway and so....my premiums go down by a few quid......result!
Just called Saga Select (Same name but car with a different "Saga Selected" insurance
broker....and the fuckers have informed me that I'm moving to a *High Risk Area* and want
another £80 out of me.
Can you guess how the phone conversation went after that??? Rapidly downhill I can tell you.
So.......Saga (original insurer for car No. 1) says okay it'll cost you less. and THEN Saga Select
say "Ooooooohhh they rape, rob, pillage and plunder down that postcode, can we have some
more money please?" (For car No. 2 - same address, parked in big garage/driveway etc.)
Upset? Mois?
This rant will be updated when I get Saga Select and their other chosen insurer to back down
and understand that I shall NOT be taking this shite in a meek and mild manner.

Time for a little red pill methinks.

Luv'n'Hugs,

Billy
Sod the pill ... time to change Insurance brokers!
 
#15
THREE FU**ING DAYS!!!!! THAT'S 1-2-3 DAYS!!!!

I've been tryin' to get through to bastard VERMIN MEDIA, after they left a message on my machine to contact them
about taking all me telly boxes with me. Ever listened to to classical music for about half a fucking hour every time
you make a call???
Yes?
Same here!
Fuck knows how big my phone bill is going to be...and now we've hit another wall of stupidity.

Changing address for the two motors we have (Insured through Saga...yes I know). Got one
policy changed and informed them that the motor will be in its own garage or off the highway
on a soddin' private driveway and so....my premiums go down by a few quid......result!
Just called Saga Select (Same name but car with a different "Saga Selected" insurance
broker....and the fuckers have informed me that I'm moving to a *High Risk Area* and want
another £80 out of me.
Can you guess how the phone conversation went after that??? Rapidly downhill I can tell you.
So.......Saga (original insurer for car No. 1) says okay it'll cost you less. and THEN Saga Select
say "Ooooooohhh they rape, rob, pillage and plunder down that postcode, can we have some
more money please?" (For car No. 2 - same address, parked in big garage/driveway etc.)
Upset? Mois?
This rant will be updated when I get Saga Select and their other chosen insurer to back down
and understand that I shall NOT be taking this shite in a meek and mild manner.

Time for a little red pill methinks.

Luv'n'Hugs,

Billy
And breathe :glasses8:
 
#16
Good afternoon all you shirkers and malingerers,

On leave a.t.t. and I have finished clearing out my beloved sheds. I'm going to miss my darling sheds -I really am y'know. New sheds aren't like old sheds. New sheds have no soul, no identity. New sheds,unlike old well cared for sheds that I had a "thing for", will have to be nurtured, cuddled and made to feel like part of the family. I truly believe that my sheds will miss me and my constant attention.The way I hid in them when her indoors opened the cutlery drawer in the kitchen when one of our discussions got somewhat out of hand....they protected me from many an electric carving knife I can tell you. My two sheds have been part of me for nine years...part of my very being - my heart and my soul and I feel pangs of guilt at having to leave them both behind...in the hands of strangers, who will probably ill-treat them, leave them all dirty and scruffy and not visit them as much as I have done.
Alas! My sheds cannot make the journey. They would simply fall apart and crumble unto dust, so they must stay here and I shall take one more look into the heart of each shed and bid it a fond farewell as I depart this abode for a new life, a new beginning.
Shedless.
I do have a nice new big garage at the end of the driveway with an up'n'over door.....but it isn't the same. I feel as if I have had my heart ripped out, but I must carry on regardless and look to acquiring two more sheds to love, to fill with crap, to hide in when the sharp objects fly and to make, once again - part of me. It will take time - but I shall prevail and the new sheds will fill the void....not completely but enough to ease the pain and the suffering I shall feel for years to come.

Adieu oh sheds of Billy.

You have served me well.

Live long and prosper.



BillyFuck-All-Sheds.
 
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#18
Good afternoon all you shirkers and malingerers,

On leave a.t.t. and I have finished clearing out my beloved sheds. I'm going to miss my darling sheds -I really am y'know. New sheds aren't like old sheds. New sheds have no soul, no identity. New sheds,unlike old well cared for sheds that I had a "thing for", will have to be nurtured, cuddled and made to feel like part of the family. I truly believe that my sheds will miss me and my constant attention.The way I hid in them when her indoors opened the cutlery drawer in the kitchen when one of our discussions got somewhat out of hand....they protected me from many an electric carving knife I can tell you. My two sheds have been part of me for nine years...part of my very being - my heart and my soul and I feel pangs of guilt at having to leave them both behind...in the hands of strangers, who will probably ill-treat them, leave them all dirty and scruffy and not visit them as much as I have done.
Alas! My sheds cannot make the journey. They would simply fall apart and crumble unto dust, so they must stay here and I shall take one more look into the heart of each shed and bid it a fond farewell as I depart this abode for a new life, a new beginning.
Shedless.
I do have a nice new big garage at the end of the driveway with an up'n'over door.....but it isn't the same. I feel as if I have had my heart ripped out, but I must carry on regardless and look to acquiring two more sheds to love, to fill with crap, to hide in when the sharp objects fly and to make, once again - part of me. It will take time - but I shall prevail and the new sheds will fill the void....not completely but enough to ease the pain and the suffering I shall feel for years to come.

Adieu oh sheds of Billy.

You have served me well.

Live long and prosper.



BillyFuck-All-Sheds.

Surprised you didn't give them a "vikings funeral" and torch the fcukers!
 
#19
Update:
Everything, but everything went tits-up. The house we should have been in on Friday 19th October
was in no way ready for occupation, and I had been told by the barmy fucker that it would be.
He's had two and a half years to complete his "renovation plan". And sweet fuck all has been
done in the last three months. It was - to put it simply - a fucking skip.
As they were loading up to take everything to the new address, I was on the phone telling 'em
to truck it all to their Storage Depot, were my fixtures and fittings now languish in two large
storage areas. So that move went all to hell-and-gone. My house is flogged...cash is in the
bank on Monday, and we're hanging tight in what we could get in two cars in my wifes sisters
house, frantically searching for a new house.
I have now got to re-change-the change of address for every twatting thing, sort out where we
are going to end up living and I think I'm going to have a major stroke.
All the garden stuff is round the dump we should have been moving to and I've got to make arrangements
to have all that shifted somewhere...but I have threatened him with death and more if I cannot leave
it all there (in the "garden" / "garage") until I am good'n'ready to shift it. The fucker owes me money,
which I'll be getting back on Monday.
The bank account will look ever so healthy on Monday afternoon, but this does not make all this utter
shit/bollocks/fuck-up/broken promises/upheaval/lies and just plain bone idleness on the stupid cunts
part any less painful to live with.
Stressed does not even come close. Wife is so shocked - she's gone quieter than usual, because for
once this situation cannot be blamed on me alone. I checked, I phoned, I turned up at the place and
Electricians were grafting, he was sort of pottering and the warning signs were beginning to show but
seeing as we HAD to move and his was the place that we'd elected to rent whilst hunting for pastures
new.....it just went all fucking WRONG.
I am paying fuck-nut a visit tonight to obtain moneys already handed over and may well end up in
the back of a van with blue flashing lights on it....I really, really do not care. I want to break the
bastards face apart and then some, and I may well just do that (after getting the envelope full of
cash that is).
More information will be forthcoming on this unmitigated disaster of a house move when I get the
chance.
It feels better to have some fucker to talk to about this, albeit electronically but better nevertheless.

Luv'n'FuckTheUniverse

BillyNoHouse
 
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