breaking it to the family, I want to be a royal marine.

Hi all,

I'm a long time wannabe royal marine who's to old to join the regulars but can still just about go for the reserves. Well try out at least!

From lurking on here for a while, going to the AFCO and visiting the local det(Rosyth) I've gained a lot of info.

However there's never been that much said about how families cope with the reality of being in the rm and to be fair I've not asked. (although if there is on rr and I'm not looking in the right place please let me know).

I have a young son at primary school and a baby girl who I look after full time. My wife is supportive of my wish to join up but wants me to be very careful about how this would impact our family.

How have others handled the issues surrounding joining up with their families?

Apologies for the long post, I wasn't sure how to cut this down.

Thanks in advance, LL

I am RNR and have been for 20 odd years, when I started there was little chance of going to war, merely as many jollys as one could fit in. Now the issue is not when you will be mobilised but how many times in your career. You should expect to be mobilised and you should understand the implications of this.

After training, how do you think your family will feel if you end up in Afghanistan or Iraq or possibly Darfur, for 6 months or 9? Will they support you, they will miss you and be able to email you, but will it cause a division that cannot be mended? How will you and they feel if you came home missing a limb, or blind, or in a coffin? Could you support your family then? Are you strong enough mentally to live with what it means to your family?

I do not tell you which way to jump, being a vociferious supportor of all things military and particularly reserves. But only you will be able to answer those questions.

On the positive side, the RNR has brought much into my life, enriching it beyond civvies imagination. I would not take back by 24 years in a blink of an eye.



War Hero
Hello LS & a big welcome!

Obviously you've spoken with your local unit & are aware of the age constraints with regard the RMR as an untrained applicant & one presumes you fall into the following categories:

The rule of thumb on this issue, for those other than yourself reading this forum, are that the same age constraints apply as for the regular RM (up to 32 years 11 months upon date of enrolment in the reserve & Regular RM), the difference being that the Director Royal Marines Reserve may consider an age waiver in exceptional circumstances. (BR63A Article 0504 for the spotters).

Generally speaking "exceptional circumstances" applies only to those with former military service (Ex-trained RM Commando, for example) in a specialisation that is sought after by the Corps or those with a civilian qualification or specific experience which transfers as a required area of expertise within the Royal Marines Reserve.

For those not in the know, it is extremely unlikely an over-age applicant, without former service, will be accepted into service in the RMR as they serve alongside regular front-line RM Commandos in an operational role & therefore the same rules apply.
rosinacarley said:

"I do not tell you which way to jump, being a vociferious supportor of all things military and particularly reserves. But only you will be able to answer those questions."

Thanks Rosie,

Yep, those have certainly been some of the questions that have troubled me over the past year.

On the jumping poser you set, now having had that full family discussion I'm (big sigh) not carrying on with the application to join. I even had 22 months to spare as well! (thanks ninja_stoker!)

So first and last post really, it's a bugger because I was looking forward to posing some of those classic newbie questions:

Who's better SBS or SAS? aah the slow flamings by nzb, blobby et al would have been worth it!

When do I get to join the SBS? The, I'm just young enough to be a CD but why won't they get me on the training course? the underwater knife fighting course queries. The "my pal's a para and he says green's for girls, what do you fink" etc etc etc.

Well all that's left to be said is that while I had been in the application process (twice so far, never made it to the PRMC!) the guys at RMR Glasgow were really helpful esp the PT guys, great advice about fitness from them. The AFCO staff in Edinburgh were likewise superb.

Lastly, the guys that I met at Rosyth, (some had just gone through September 06's prmc, some had just got their green lid) and the staff there were great, really encouraging.

Oh and of course, reading the varied posts on the RMR forum is ever entertaining and always useful.

Wow, what a bloody softie I am, (who am I kidding, I would never have got in anyway being a such gusher!)

Thanks all, LS
rosinacarley said:

Now the issue is not when you will be mobilised but how many times in your career. You should expect to be mobilised and you should understand the implications of this.



What are you trying to do rosinacarley!?!?! You have just given this guy the worlds worst and most uninformed advice delivered with more than a hint of scaremongering.

I am an ex reg, now RMR. I have deployed whilst with RMR, but the chance of being forcibly mobilised is somewhere between slim and nothing. The RMR (and RNR) utilise "Intelligent Mobilisation" This basically ASKS if you want to be considered for mobilisation. I volunteered. If you don't, you can still play an active and useful role within the Reserves, getting good value from it and helping to facilitate training for others.

rosinacarley - you are officially off my xmas card list.
There are evil forces at work who would conspire to give you BAAAD INT! You will NOT be deployed anywhere against your will. Give your options due consideration, yes, if you never deploy anywhere, you would seem to be giving nothing back to the corps...not true. You can't run a Section Attack training period with three blokes no matter how they all want to deploy, its the guys that make up the numbers that make it possible. If they don't want to deploy just now then fine by me. You will still get good quality training and experience, extra money and some fun.

Late-starter, if you are still out there, message me, or spk to your contact at Rosyth.
I am not joining the RMR but I did sit my children down and told them that I was joining the TA.

I have just become a Grandmother at the age of 41 and my daughter was mortified that her mother wanted to do such a thing.

When I went to join the Inf Regt as a Clerk I was asked what was the motivation...I replied that my Army Career was cut short due to having children and I have always felt as though something was missing.

I have explained to my children that there is a chance mum could end up in Iraq/Afghanistan but it is something I feel the need to do. There were a few upsets but they understand.

I always remember the words my father told me....."Don't look back and wishful when your children are grown up...your dreams are too old to fulfil"..

I wish you the best of luck.


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Picture the scene. A young nervous man visits his parents:

"Mum? Dad? Please sit down; I've got something to tell you..."
"What is it, lad? Is it bad news?"
"Erm... not really... it's just that..."
"Come on, Son. You can tell us anything."
"Well, okay then... there's something tha I have wanted to try for years; I dunno how to describe it, but I've been having these urges..."
"Oh my God! You're not gaaaa...."
"Shut up Dad; I have to say it aloud - I've decided to join the RMR!"
"Oh thank Christ for that - for a moment there I thought you were going to tell us you supported Southampton FC!"

:wink: :thumbright:

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