Branch ditties

#1
Do you have a particular ditty, rhyme, prayer? for the branch you served in ?

Here's one I found for bunting tossers

The yeoman is my shepherd
I shall not sleep
He maketh me go out on cold signal decks
He leadeth me over grey waters
He revoketh my leave
He leadeth me to hoist in the manner of righteousness
For the Captains sake

Yea though I walk down the Droxford Road
I will fear no sparker
For thou art with me
Thy telescope and message forms comfort me
thou preparest FRX's before me
In the presence of my shipmates;
Thou annointest my head with an inglefield clip
My coffee spilleth over

Surely flashing light and fleetwork will follow me
All the days of my deployment
And I shall dwell at the back of the bridge forever
 
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#2
Yeah heres one for the railways.

The guard is the man the man in the van,
the van at the back of the train.
The man at the front thinks the guard is a cunt,
And the guard thinks the drivers the same.
 
#3
Here's one for all you clankies..............

A clankey one evening after supper
decides to wander on the upper scupper
when on the deck he did arrive
he slipped and took a nasty dive
into the oggin, boots and all
he wished he'd stayed in the dining hall

Lifebuoy ghost shouted and cried
man overboard starboard side
telephone whines in bridge up front
who takes the call but one bright bunt
six short blasts, starboard thirty
flag oscar hoisted quick and smartly
RPI marks the spot
with chinagraph like yellow snot

So that clankey doesn't get lost
in all that windy sea and dross
bunts and oppo sparky bright
flash up their twenty inch light
it wasn't dark but what the heck
they had binoculars around their neck

There he is said Yeoman Mick
just follow that bloody great oily slick
from clankey's overalls of black and blue
which, tarnished with a greasy hue
had seeped, with luck into the sea
to advertise where that clankey be

Jimmy shouts 'away sea boat'
but Captain says 'leave him to soak'
'look at him, he's very dirty'
'leave him in for minutes thirty'
'I don't want him on my war canoe'
'until he's shining like pin anew'

From that locker of Davy Jones
was rescued that stoker all chilled to the bones
so a lesson to stokers who wish to be bold
never venture so far from your stokey hole
it's best to stay with your very own team
amongst boiler, bolts, oil and steam

 

wal

Lantern Swinger
#5
[FONT=&amp]Sung to the tune of the 21 Psalm.

Words by Taff Walters [/FONT] HMS Rothesay [FONT=&amp]cica 1975.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]The stokers on board never go weekend[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]They’re always turning to.[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]In the engine Room and Boiler Room[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]It makes you want to spew.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]And so we go to the Honky Tonk [/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]And get pissed on the plonk.[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The Bistros next upon our list[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]The one we never miss.[/FONT]
 
#6
Deck of cards (Flagdeck style)

A young signalman was caught playing cards when he should have been turned to.............so he got trooped.
At the captains table..........off caps...........'what have you got to say for yourself' said the old man.
'well sir' said the young signalman..............

when I see the ace I think, there is only one Cheif Yeoman
when I see the two I think of the two good books ACP175 and ATP1
when I think of the three I think of the restrictions on wheeling
when I see the four I think of the four points on the compass, north, south, east and west
when I see the five I think of the breakdown signal
when I see the six I think of the six governing groups
when I see the seven I think of the seven standard dress ship days
when I see the eight I think of the eight automatic changes of the guide
when I see the nine I think of the nine o'clock when I must turn to
when I see the ten I think of the 10 inch signal light
when I see the jack I think of my days as an OD
when I see the queen I think of the rum tub, god bless her
and when I see the king I think of you Captain sir
so you see, sir, it serves as my signal notes and keeps me on the ball.

The Captain replied.............'case dismissed'
 
#7
The focsul song. Sung to "green Tambourine

Don't get your non skid on my silvereen,
Help to keep the focsul nice and clean,
We've been working hard see what I mean,
So please, don't get your steaming bats,
on my clean silvereen.
 
#8
The last signalman

On a thickly wooded sponson, where the last projector stands
the museum pair of hand flags hanging idly in my hands
with my jargon half forgotten, of my stock in trade bereft,
I wonder whats ahead of me - the last bunting left.

The relics of my aincient craft have vanished one by one,
the cruiser arc, the morse flag and manoeuvring lights have gone,
and I hear they'd be useless in the final global war,
as the helio, the fog horn and the masthead semaphore.

The mast is sprouting gadgets like a nightmare Christmas tree,
there are whips and stubs and wave guides where my halyards used to be,
and I couldn't hoist a tackline through that lunatic array,
for at every height and angle, there's a dipole in the way.

The alert and hawkeyed signalman is rendered obsolete,
by the electrically operated optics of the fleet,
and the leaping barracuda of the charging submarine,
can be sighted as a blob on a flourescent screen.

To delete the human error, to erase a noble breed,
we rely upon a relay, and pin or faith to creed,
so we press a button, make a switch and spin a little wheel,
and its cent per cent efficient - when we're on an even keel.

But again I may be needed, for the time will surely come,
when we have to talk in silence and the modern stuff is dumb,
when the signal lantern flashing and the flags are flying free,
It was good enough for Nelson, and its good enough for me.

 
#9
It's a good job unlike buntins the seaman never wails,
Or we'd all be out on ratlines, letting out the fuckin sails,
And if get sentimental over things that once were used,
they'd bring back the fuckin cat and we could all be well abused,
so Ill settle for technology and stuff the antique stuff,
We can ease the work load, and then sleep, you cannot get enough.:laughing6:
 
#10
It's a good job unlike buntins the seaman never wails,
Or we'd all be out on ratlines, letting out the fuckin sails,
And if get sentimental over things that once were used,
they'd bring back the fuckin cat and we could all be well abused,
so Ill settle for technology and stuff the antique stuff,
We can ease the work load, and then sleep, you cannot get enough.:laughing6:
:headbang: Rock on bro'
 
#11
What was the one, Stokers like their baccy and rum and the sailors take it up the bum, but thats no reason why they cant be friends, stokers and the sailors stick together stokers and the sailors should be chums............dont know the rest
 

wal

Lantern Swinger
#15
I'm just a stoke who can't say no
I'm in a terrible fix.
When I go down on watch below
I never wear any nix.

all the other stokers tap me up
I really should tell the Chief.......................
 
#16
Oh that hurts. Thought we were oppos? I hope your piles bleed for a year.
That would be luxury only a year, my piles have be smiling for years on and off, fissures, now that is where the pain is, found another use for a mirror which does not include your face? Just looking up some asshole
:tongue2:
 
#17
That would be luxury only a year, my piles have be smiling for years on and off, fissures, now that is where the pain is, found another use for a mirror which does not include your face? Just looking up some asshole
:tongue2:
Just out my rack and heading for the shower, had a quick look on here and now I have no desire for breakfast:pottytrain2:
 

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