Bored

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#1
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things, i've had fuck all of interest happen. So far i've:

1. Shouted at a tramp for pissing against the wall
2. Stuffed my face with crisps
3. Drunk copious amounts of coffee
4. Smoked umpteen fags
5. Wiped an extremely sticky bogey on the earpiece of an unpopular managers phone
6. Skiffed my 2ic

Auto erotic asphyxiation aside, any suggestions?
 

smeeg

Lantern Swinger
#2
Get blasted and tell your boss what you really think. Find an ex thats let herself go and pretend you want to get back with her. After she MMS's you a picture of her tits, call her and say NAGHHTT! ( borat style...)
 
#6
Blackrat said:
JonnoJonno said:
Are you within driving distance of some children, a 24 hour pharmacist and a railway cutting?
Yes
Yes
And yes

All i need now is some harry maskers.
Give me 20 minutes. I'll show you how to blow a chav up like a toad, using white lightning, some potassium permanganate and a bit of anti freeze.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#7
JonnoJonno said:
Give me 20 minutes. I'll show you how to blow a chav up like a toad, using white lightning, some potassium permanganate and a bit of anti freeze.
I've got wood just thinking about it. I think i'll go and spaff in the coffee machine.
 
#9
After working many years on shifts myself ,I can only say.With your command of the English language and written expression.

Get yourself a day job... one that pays well ..P.Ms minder might suit you.. :roll:
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#10
Rodgersthecabinboy said:
After working many years on shifts myself ,I can only say.With your command of the English language and written expression.

Get yourself a day job... one that pays well ..P.Ms minder might suit you.. :roll:
I was thinking more along the lines of a Pimp. Flexible hours, good pay and ho's on tap. Champion.
 
#11
JonnoJonno said:
Blackrat said:
JonnoJonno said:
Are you within driving distance of some children, a 24 hour pharmacist and a railway cutting?
Yes
Yes
And yes

All i need now is some harry maskers.
Give me 20 minutes. I'll show you how to blow a chav up like a toad, using white lightning, some potassium permanganate and a bit of anti freeze.
Fcuk yes, teach me too.
 
#12
Blackrat said:
JonnoJonno said:
Give me 20 minutes. I'll show you how to blow a chav up like a toad, using white lightning, some potassium permanganate and a bit of anti freeze.
I've got wood just thinking about it. I think i'll go and spaff in the coffee machine.
Give me 25 minutes; I've got to brew up.
 
#13
Blackrat said:
Rodgersthecabinboy said:
After working many years on shifts myself ,I can only say.With your command of the English language and written expression.

Get yourself a day job... one that pays well ..P.Ms minder might suit you.. :roll:
I was thinking more along the lines of a Pimp. Flexible hours, good pay and ho's on tap. Champion.
If not already a serving police officer,join up and become chief constable,but join the masons first..then you will have it all.. :lol:
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#14
I'm now cleaning my ears out with my oppo's pen. It's great because he always pops it in his mouth. I might hoop it for good measure.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#15
I'm at home now so consequently, i'm not bored. I am thinking about the chaps stagging on as i type. Why? I domed a few of the coffee mugs. Nothing like a bit of Russian Roulette to liven up a Saturday morning.
 
#16
Blackrat said:
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things

That was supposed to be a secret. You will pay for that you pathetic little man, I am gonna dry fuck your arse with an obscene black strap on while you are gagged and choking on your own spaff laden underwear.
 
#17
suckmedic said:
Blackrat said:
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things

That was supposed to be a secret. You will pay for that you pathetic little man, I am gonna dry fuck your arse with an obscene black strap on while you are gagged and choking on your own spaff laden underwear.
Why don't you do something he won't enjoy
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#18
WreckerL said:
suckmedic said:
Blackrat said:
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things

That was supposed to be a secret. You will pay for that you pathetic little man, I am gonna dry fuck your arse with an obscene black strap on while you are gagged and choking on your own spaff laden underwear.
Why don't you do something he won't enjoy
Indeed. If you were going to punish me, you should have put "I am NOT..." before the sentence beginning with anal dry pumping. Honestly. Women.
 
#19
Blackrat said:
WreckerL said:
suckmedic said:
Blackrat said:
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things

That was supposed to be a secret. You will pay for that you pathetic little man, I am gonna dry fuck your arse with an obscene black strap on while you are gagged and choking on your own spaff laden underwear.
Why don't you do something he won't enjoy
Indeed. If you were going to punish me, you should have put "I am NOT..." before the sentence beginning with anal dry pumping. Honestly. Women.
I haven't even got onto the punishment yet, that was just for my own own pleasure, oh no if i was going to punish you I would make passionate love to you. You know, looking deep into your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, breathy, lightly moaning, followed by the usual faked orgasm then i would cry and want cuddles.

Utter torture.
 
G

guestm

Guest
#20
suckmedic said:
Blackrat said:
WreckerL said:
suckmedic said:
Blackrat said:
Ok. I'm on nights and bar an extremely intimate phone call from a Northern lass who was telling me all sorts of naughty things

That was supposed to be a secret. You will pay for that you pathetic little man, I am gonna dry fuck your arse with an obscene black strap on while you are gagged and choking on your own spaff laden underwear.
Why don't you do something he won't enjoy
Indeed. If you were going to punish me, you should have put "I am NOT..." before the sentence beginning with anal dry pumping. Honestly. Women.
I haven't even got onto the punishment yet, that was just for my own own pleasure, oh no if i was going to punish you I would make passionate love to you. You know, looking deep into your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, breathy, lightly moaning, followed by the usual faked orgasm then i would cry and want cuddles.

Utter torture.
You're fucking rats aren't you?
 
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