Booty Walt?

BillyNoMates said:
Told you. I'm so deep-deep-deep undercover,
they "Agency" had to slap a "D" Notice on it.

My controller says I've got to go, There's a
Stealth fighter waiting at Brize. Got 5 rounds
in the clip....only need the one.

Adios Muchachos.


Do you think they'll let me into Colombia with
just my Man from U.N.C.L.E. Identity Card?

Dont forget to take your Johnny Seven with you :thumright:

Good luck on your mission,I'm off to Alaska to wrestle Russian special forces but dont tell anyone as its a secret.


OneEyePI said:
Hi Navy/Booty types.

Interloper from arrse here in need of a bit of assistance.

A guy on another forum has flagged a potential booty walter up to me. He claims to be ex Royals and sniper trained, and is using this to try to throw his weight about.

He is the guy calling himself "Oblomov" on this link (his waltage occurs on page 6, second post):

Here also is a sample of what he is claiming:

"My credentials are that I'm an ex Royal Marine, sniper trained. I've forgotten more about shooting just about every type of weapon than you've ever learned, including the bow and arrow and catapult. I've spent more time shooting than you've spent on the lavatory."

"You look through the scope, windage and elevation have been calculated, you're aware that on a dew laden morning the relative humidity can raise the breech pressure as the bullet leaves you rifle, from 20 tons per square inch to over 25, the cross hairs, line up on a man's head, relax, breath out, suspend breathing, and gently..... squeeze the trigger. His head jerks a small hard movement, a mist of something momentarily behind. I had to ID the first man I shot. He was on his back, eyes open; just a small almost insignificant purple mark on his cheek below his left eye. Didn't look much until we picked him up. The whole of the back of his head was missing; most of his brain blown out of the cavity. On a dawn ambush once, the only person visible to shoot at was the cook, up bright and early going about his chores. The whistle blew, and the cook's head exploded, a headless body hit the floor, from the crossfire."

This strikes me as a load of old cock. What do you lot think?

Sorry if I have posted this in the wrong place btw.



Good morning The Senior Service...

Further int on Mne Mitty from the car forum: Here are some of Mne Mitty's posts/opinions (mostly about him and how 'cool' he is). Sorry if this is a bit long-winded, however, he is a waffling cnut. I have only edited it to make the formatting work and too address the most spesihul of his spelin erraws.

Your comments on this guy and his imagination are most welcome. The original post is on page six (post #102) here:
All the posts I have quoted can be found by a search for posts in the name of "oblomov" with keyword either "forces" or "marines".


quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 30 2007, 20:54

Then there was the Golden Venus night club in Singapore. They had a big Indian bouncer there who had taken a dislike to Marines. He was a muscular 6'2" martial arts expert and if he had to throw any Marines out he didn't just do his job, he also took advantage and badly beat a number of guys who were too p1ssed to defend themselves in any way.

Eventually, after someone was particularly badly beaten it was decided we had to 'deal ' with him, so we went to the club with out 'secret weapon. Our secret weapon was a Marine called Thatcher who was Far East Forces flyweight boxing champion. About ten of us sat there quietly for a while and then two went on to the dance floor and pretended to have an argument. The bouncer appears goes up to them, and Thatcher whips in behind him and gives him an almighty running kick up the arrse. He staggers forward and then spins round to see this diminutive figure standing in front of him in a classic boxing pose. The bouncer towers over him, makes a few kung fu type moves with his hands to show off and then moves in.

Before the bouncer has a chance to react Thatcher steps in with a lightening flurry of punches. He hits him squarely on the nose with a left jab, follows up with four swingeing right left right left hooks to the lower ribs and as the guy sags, hits him squarely on the chin with a huge swinging right hook.

Thatcher's hit him six times before he's had a chance to move and now he's unconscious on the floor. Another bouncer comes flying in and Thatcher finishes him with a single right hook. We get up and walk over and the guy gets a good kicking and a warning is given to the manager who has appeared by then, that in future if any Marines are 'picked on' we'll be back and next time we'll wreck the club. ohmy.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 30 2007, 13:24

Then there was the time when I was in the Marines and we were at a shooting range at Pilning near Bristol. We hired a stripper and she did a strip but wouldn't take her knickers off. So we all threw money on the stage and shouted "get em off!" and when she saw all the cash she took 'em off. Then we threw more money and told her to stand with her back to us, legs apart and bend over and touch her toes, which she did, then we all threw our pints of beer all over her and while she was wet and confused with beer in her eyes we all quickly nipped on stage and took all our money back. Annoyed? She was absolutely bouncing, in all senses of the word. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 29 2007, 20:10

Then there was the time when I was about 14 and me and me mate 'just happened' to see this couple about to 'have it off' in the sandhills of the beach near my house. Anyway they were both bollocko and she was playing 'hard to get' and ran off over a couple of dunes before he caught her and they started to do the business.

So me and me mate stole their clothes (emptied the contents of his trouser pockets) buried them in the sand, and fcuked off to a distance to watch. It was hilarious. They just didn’t know what to do and were still arguing about it and hiding naked in the sandhills two hours later when it started to get dark and we had to leave and go home.

Never did find out how they solved their problem. laugh.gif

Did a similar thing on a beach in South Arabia when in the Marines. Saw the Padre a quarter of a mile away, wearing only shorts, strip off to go for a swim. I nicked his shorts and hid them and he had to walk back into camp totally bollocko much to everyone's amusement. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 28 2007, 23:22

Then there was the time in a very dark cinema in Singapore with my then Chinese girlfriend. We were in the corner of the back row and got a bit carried away. Her dress top was open to the waist (no bra), skirt up, knickers around one ankle and leg draped over the arm of unoccupied seat next to her . My flies were open, she was practising her short shift gear change while I was playing amateur gynaecologist, when suddenly the lights went on and everyone stood up, and most of them just froze and stared. We'd been so carried away we didn't notice the film had finished. :)

quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 27 2007, 20:09

I was wading out from shore on a crowded beach in Spain. There was a heavy breaking swell and I was pushing a Lillo with my flippers and snorkel and goggles on it. As a huge wage came crashing in, I tried to push the Lillo over it but the wave caught it, slapped it against me and I was taken completely under. I was then trapped by a very powerful undertow, dragged along the sandy bottom before being unceremoniously dumped on the shore.

When I tried to stand up I found that my trunks had been dragged down to my knees and I pitched head first into anther crashing wave which took me under and then washed me up on the shore again with my trunks now around my ankles.. When I tried to pull my trunks, lying down, I couldn't because they were full of scooped up sand and seaweed, and another huge wave came in and rolled me further up the shore with my trunks still around my ankles, right at the feet of two teenage girls in bikinis who appeared to be in hysterics. So I had to crawl up the beach with my trunks around my ankles and dig all the sand and seaweed out before I could pull them up. I swear I had sand in every orifice including up my arrse.

When I finally looked around everyone on the beach was not just pi$ing themselves, some were actually holding their stomachs because they were laughing so much and then I had to walk backwards and forwards along the shoreline until I found each flipper, my mask and my snorkel while everyone looked at me and sniggered.

The next day when I went on the beach I saw people pointing at me and laughing as they must have been telling someone else who didn't see what happened @That's the bloke I was telling you about....... :groupjump:

quote name='oblomov' date='Jan 31 2006, 21:26

Well, I could tell a tale or two about 160 mph for the sake of it plod drivers (the latest Volvo T5 will hit that speed) but I won't. tongueff.gif

However, the plod who nicks a shoplifter isn't out the next day doing the same thing himself, but the traffic cop who pings you at 35 in a 30 limit most definitely is, and a lot worse sad.gif

Traffic plod are the biggest hypocrites you are likely to meet in this respect. An ex traffic plod who is a good acquaintance of mine said in relation to this prosecution that in his day it was favourite on night shifts to regularly do 'long high speed runs' to practise their driving skills.

He believes that these days however because of the persecution of the ordinary motorist for speeding, it's no longer acceptable for the police to indulge in that sort of thing and get away with it.

They won't for long anyway because most police forces are now introducing 'black boxes' similar to aircraft flight recorder boxes into all their vehicles and all speeds and times will be a mater of record and scrutiny. Thumbsup

As for plod with a gun :9mm: What a bunch of amateurs. ohmy.gif

Unless they're ex squaddies that is who are usually very good because the novelty of carrying a 'gun' has long worn off.

I have very few areas of expertise, but firearms and firearm handling is one of them IMO a very high number of plod are doing the job for the wrong reasons. There was recent report by the SAS about this in the Times, and the fact that the majority of plod firearms officers they were training were psychologically unsuitable to carry a weapon. 'More interested in having their picture taken in the bar 'all tooled up' was how the SAS put it if I remember correctly. :9mm:

I've personally seen a plod on Royal Protection duties with a loaded firearm behave in a way which in my professional judgement should have resulted in the immediate confiscation of the weapon and him being kicked off firearms duties permanently. :beat:

quote name='oblomov' date='Jan 5 2007, 13:09

They tested the Concord engines in Vulcans. I remember them doing so flying out from an airfield near Bristol. I was in the Royal Marines then and we were at a shooting range close by at the time. I remember we hired a stripper and she did a strip but wouldn't take her knickers off. We all threw money on the stage and shouted "get em off!" and when she saw all the cash she took 'em off. Then we threw more money and told her to stand with her back to us, legs apart and bend over, which she did, then we all threw our pints of beer all over her and while she was wet and confused with beer in her eyes we all quickly nipped on stage and took all our money back shine.gif Annoyed? She was absolutely bouncing, in all senses of the word. laugh.gif

Ah, them were the days shine.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Feb 10 2006, 20:

When I was in the Royal Marines we had a guy whose party trick was to eat a live frog. He could do this pi$ed or stone cold sober. His only stipulation was that he had two slices of bread that he could put the frog between to make a sandwich ohmy.gif

He would hold his 'sandwich' with the frog’s legs sticking out away from him and then bite into it and bite the frogs head off and eat it. sick.gif He did it this way for the visual effect of the frog’s legs sticking out the other end of the sandwich lashing about. sick.gif

Then he'd slowly munch his way through the whole thing, including any poo that inevitably came out of the frog's rear end. sick.gif

To get him to do this you had to bet him 10 quid he couldn't do it, bearing in mind 10 quid was quite a lot of money in those days. sick.gif

I've seen very hard men turn green and puke watching him do it. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Feb 10 2006, 15:25

This is an ongoing problem for me and what I took to doing on days I wasn't there was leaving milk laced heavily with salt. thumbsup laugh.gif

Came in the other week and within half an hour my milk had disappeared completely. ohmy.gif Went to the office upstairs and found some bloke (total stranger - visitor) calmly making his coffee with it. :beat: I absolutely ripped into him about helping himself.... blah blah. giving him a real bollocking in front of about half a dozen other visitors (all waiting for their coffee) He was so grovellingly apologetic it was embarrassing ohmy.gif I ended up having to apologise for giving him such a verbal savaging. :beat:

Came in last week, six visitors in the canteen, half an hour later the milk I just brought in is gone :9mm: Even caught out the woman who works with me with the salt laugh.gif She made tea, came down to her desk to drink it, took a big swig and nearly puked, spitting it all out in the waste paper bin. thumbsup laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif but then she's always nicking my pens and things as well and then denies it. :beat:

The problem is that there is plenty of milk, but it's all long life full skimmed stuff which bears no resemblance taste or texture wise to real milk which is why they nick mine. :9mm:

Now I've got a red indelible marker and I just plaster NO! in big red letters all over the carton. shine.gif which seems to do the trick. shine.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Jan 13 2006, 12:33

Hmmm. What you don't know about him would make you cringe. sad.gif

When I was in training in the Royal Marines at Lympstone in Devon, Saville used to visit the Sergeant's mess.

One day myself and a mate who was very sharp and witty, were coming back from the galley (canteen) and Saville was giving out autographs to a crowd of Marines.

As we walked past (ignoring the ****) Saville called out to us “Do you want my autograph?"

My mate replied "Do you want mine?"

"No" Replied Saville

"Then why the **** would you think I wanted yours?" replied my mate. laugh.gif

Still make me laugh out loud when I think about it now and the totally gobsmacked expression on Savilles face. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date= Nov 23 2005, 16:41

I bought my first Rolex for professional reasons many years ago when I was in the Royal Marines and needed something that was mechanically bomb proof and able to stand up to all conditions . A lot of us had them, usually either GMTs or Subs.

I've been wearing one so long I don't give it any more thought than if it was a Timex. Others might wear their sleeves up to 'display' their Rolex but that's their problem not mine. I see people with tattoos doing the same thing, only more so. ohmy.gif

As for being a display of wealth, a watch is a watch, a car is a car. The motivation for the purchase can only be guessed at and will be different for different people.

However the generalized interpretation of flash car or watch as a display of wealth is purely subjective and lies with the person making the judgement, and bears no relation to the motive underlying a person's ownership.

Driving around in a VX it's plainly obvious from the reactions you get that many people interpret ownership of a VX as a gratuitous display of wealth, and how wrong could they be? ohmy.gif

Sure some owners will have bought the car in order to pose, but they won't be on this forum because that's not what we're about here. Poseurs are not interested in the minutia of the vehicle they drive, only in the kudos they believe it bestows upon them. BMW drivers are the best example of a marque where the majority of owners believe their vehicle bestows kudos and indicates them to be a person of 'status' laugh.gif

Here we drive these cars for what they are, not what people interpret us or them to be. shine.gif If it was otherwise, we'd all be driving a Lotus Elise.
Anyway I've got to go now, I've just noticed my Rolex needs polishing. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Apr 7 2005, 23:32

I was standing on the range one drizzly day firing my .22 pistol when the local plod came by. Standing next to me in full uniform, helmet etc. blink.gif he reached inside his raincoat and pulled out a .44 magnum from a shoulder holster, pointed it down the range at my target, and fired six shots. ohmy.gif

The butts were only constructed to stop .22 ammunition and the bullets went straight through and could be heard ricocheting through the trees beyond. blink.gif

He then blew down the barrel of the gun like someone in the movies, nodded at my .22 and said 'Call that a fcuking gun? This is what I call a fcuking gun.' Laughed and then walked off shine.gif

The sound of the gunfire was so loud it brought all the other club members rushing out in gobsmacked amazement. ohmy.gif

True story. laugh.gif

quote name='oblomov' date='Apr 8 2005, 22:37

Ant, once went to a full bore range where I was allowed to fire a .44 magnum. They were a real bunch of cowboys. poof

I'd never fired one before and managed a 1 1/2 inch group at 25 yards, and they were all amazed at my 'fantastic' shooting ohmy.gif Didn't like to tell them at that range two handed I'd normally expect to put all shots through the same hole sad.gif It wasn't me that was good, it was them that were all really $hite basically. Just there to show off and make big bangs. blink.gif

When all handguns were withdrawn, I was part of the process of taking guns off people during the surrender. I was a sniper in the Royal Marines, and no one was a more keen shot with rifle pistol or shotgun than me, but no sport is worth the life of a single person or child. There will always be one nutter out there, and that's one too many to allow access to firearms in my opinion. Thumbsdown

You only have to look to America to see what’s happened in many other schools after the Columbine incident. On another forum I visit there are gung ho Septics boasting about the personal sidearms they carry to 'defend' themselves, and the impression I get is that some are actually looking for the excuse to shoot someone. ohmy.gif

If you point out the reason they feel the need to go armed must be because they live in a society of fear, and they're afraid, they go ape****. :9mm:

I've had to stay away because they pi$ me off so much sad.gif


quote name='oblomov' date='Jun 24 2004, 23:06

I have to say I was very fortunate and had an idyllic childhood. My parents lived (still do) on a headland with the house only 30 seconds away from the beach in one direction and woodland in the other.

I spent most of my time climbing trees and the cliffs on the beaches, and swimming in fairly dangerous waters. I really think that helped develop my co-ordination, because when I joined the Royal Marines at the age of 19, I found that during training, country lads all tended to have better coordination than the townies.

When I trained as a sniper my country skills and knowledge were definitely an advantage.

I remember standing in the middle of an enormous field on the edge of Dartmoor with a group of townies who were about to run because one out of a herd of cows turned out to be a very nasty looking bull. I managed to persuade them it was not a good idea. A slow backing away did the trick but it was a close thing. The field was so big we wouldn't have made the wall, and someone might have been seriously hurt.

Pull up a sandbag and I'll tell you a war story smile.gif


War Hero
The only thing to me as irritating as the ever growing numbers of Walts these days are the ever so cheezy grinning civvies with no military background who are hunting them down. All we seem to get these days are threads started by c0cksucking civvies who have never even ventured into the cadets licking arrse to the members of the site whilst on a Walt hunt, either from meeting some dit spinning old codger in the pub to some guy who bullied them in cyber space.

I read your post from start to finish and even went onto that website to have a peek and my conclusion is that the guy probably IS an ex Booneck with a bit of an imagination and some far fetched dits. Theres no damning evidence in this guy's boring posts to suggest otherwise. Being an ex Bootneck myself nowt would grip my sh1t more than a civvy calling me a Walt.

Hows thats? Now fcuk off back to your cross stitching u smug cnut.


I share your feeling about civy walt-hunter. However, I'm not one of them.

OneEyePI and me are both ARRSErs and Ex Reg Army. The thread was posted here to allow some RM scrutiny of the bloke's claim/stories.

lukep: You have my PM if you wish to check my service yourself. In your own time, crack on...


War Hero
Neck wound on suggesting you were a civvy.

However i still reckon theres more than a good chace he is an ex booneck.

Bring him over.


lukep said:
Neck wound on suggesting you were a civvy.

However i still reckon theres more than a good chace he is an ex booneck.

Bring him over.

My bold: He has been called out and invited to comment on this and the Arrse thread. He has declined to do so.

lukep said:
I read your post from start to finish and even went onto that website to have a peek and my conclusion is that the guy probably IS an ex Booneck with a bit of an imagination and some far fetched dits. Theres no damning evidence in this guy's boring posts to suggest otherwise. Being an ex Bootneck myself nowt would grip my sh1t more than a civvy calling me a Walt.

My bold again: This is the sort of response I would expect from anyone that's genuine; now compare and contrast with the reply from "oblomov" before he went on radio silence.

name='oblomov' date='Oct 3 2008, 21:39
I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms at being referred to as Walter. I was deeply shocked and traumatized that I should be referred to in this manner on what is after all a public forum, and I ask that a moderator please delete this offensive slur which is name calling obviously intended as a personal insult.

My best friend and his brother, and their cousin Tarquin are all Boy Scouts and I am therefore associated with them by erroneous reference; however they fully support me in this but refuse to even mention Ging Gang Gooly let alone speak about it publicly.

I must insist that in future members of this forum refer to me correctly as Brenda.

Thanks in advance

Big B. :rolleyes:

He's also a fan of 19th century Russian novels, it seems... >>Linky<<