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Bloody shop assistants!


War Hero
I have just returned from my annual 'Duty Trip' to Scotland. And it only rained one day!

Anyway, to the point - shop asistants. I was in a large elecrical retailer, browsing, etc. 'Can I help you Sir?'. Then seconds later, 'Are you OK there Sir?' and on and on and bloody on. What a way to try and curry favour (see what I did there?) After about 20 minutes of being hassled by these 'friendly' morons, I was ready to kill one of them.

If there is anyone from that large electical retailer reading - TELL THEM TO STOP! I was so pissed off that I bought the new toy I wanted elsewhere.

But it was not just Curr....., sorry, a large electrical retailer that was doing this, thought their folk were by far the most intrusive.

Everyone seems to be at it.

Is it just me? Is the Fesive Season getting to me? Am I just a grumpy old git?

Or are they all just brain dead, Christmas hirings?


War Hero
Aggressive Xmas marketing. PC Planet - were very pro active in their sales. Now many of them have merged with the electrical store that will not be named I assume some of there marketing techniques will have migrated across to ensure they get the lions share of Xmas spondoolics!!!!

Sit down, relax and have a large one!


War Hero
Book Reviewer
SB, I agree it's awful, but don't blame the staff. My wife works in retail and, as 2cool says, they are told to do it. Not only that, there are a huge amount of mongs who cannot see what is right in front of their very eyes in a shop and genuinely do need help, also to the annoyance of us normal customers.


War Hero
No I realise they weren't all doing it on their own initiative, but I really wanted to get a T-shirt made up with 'Just Feck Off and leave me alone' or something similar. Intrusive - I should say so!


War Hero
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
Of course, the way it usually works is one goes into the shop and start looking at the goods; cue hordes of SA trying to help. 'No thanks, I'm just looking round at the moment'. As soon as you see what you want the SA 's all disappear and you struggle to get any attention. Cnuts the lot of them.

Hated it when I did a couple of months Christmas casual work.


Lantern Swinger
I can live with shop assistants, it's no worse than the actual experience of shopping, especially for clothes. I actually hate clothes shopping.

What really pisses me off is when you go to the till and you get bombarded with special offers

"Half-price Daily Mail?"

"No thanks"

"Choccy bar for a quid?"

"I'm alright"

"Can I interest you with a loyalty card?"



War Hero
Book Reviewer
I like it when the female shop assistants come up to me and say "Have you found what you're looking for?" and i look at their chest, dribble, and say "Yeeeessssssss".


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Something i put on another thread but it's relevant here.

It's not often i go to McDonalds and when i do, i'm usually pissed and want some entertainment. However, the other day, i was out in the car with the misses and she was a bit peckish so suggested we go through a McWanks drive through. Now from past experience, i tend to avoid these as they fuck you over with the wrong order and ask stupid questions. This was to prove no exception:

Fuckwit - "Welcome to McDonalds drive through may i take your order please?"

Me - "Yeah. Can i have a big Mac meal with diet coke and a Quarter Pounder with cheese and large fries"

Fuckwit - "Do you want a large meal?"

Me - "No. I would have asked for one if i wanted one"

Fuckwit - "Do you want a Quarter pounder meal?"

Me - "No"

Fuckwit - "Do you want a drink with your Quarter pounder"

Me - "No"

Fuckwit - "Are you sure?"

Me - "Oddly enough, yes"

Fuckwit - "Is there anything else?"

Me - "Do you have a lost property box?"

Fuckwit - "Yes. What have you lost?"

Me - "My will to live"

Fuckwit - "That will be one million pounds please"

On checking the order when received, the fucking idiots gave me a cheeseburger.


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Perhaps on purpose to see off the sarcastic customer??? You may even have got a few "hidden extras"!!


Butty shop near my office I used to frequent, did a very nice tomato soup and ditto butty, cos the tom soup was v nice it soon ran out, and so I often failed to enjoy a cup with my lunch, the other soup they did, a guest soup, usually parrot shit, bus ticket and swede, never ran out, the staff had two priorities, rearrange the buns then serve the customers, so there wouldbe 15 people in the queue,14 pensioners, who could shop any time of the day but preferred the 40mins I got for my lunch, we would be ignored while the staff put the buns in a more pleasing order, the same staff when faced with the purchase of three items costing 50p each needed a pencil and paper, thisi nvolved much searching and furrowing of brows until they triumphantly askedyou for £3.78, in the weeks prior to retirement I started hearing voices telling me to kill them, kill them all except the manager, she should be sexually violated with various bread products, luckily the voices stopped when I retired
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War Hero
Checkout guy in T*sc* once said to me.........."And how are you today?"....I replied....."How long have you got?"

Never bothered me again !

MG Maniac

War Hero
the other soup they did, a guest soup, usually parrot shit, bus ticket and swede, never ran out,

Sounds like the mulled wine they had on in the Dockyard the other weekend .. think they use Chateau Chunda and extract of aboriginies piss ... god it was gopping ... just strikes me that the parrot shit soup and this probably came from the same factory!

Not actually a 'Shop Asst.' dit but here is yesterday's prime example of 'Customer disservice'.

Aged gentleman (a new customer) inquires of our jnr. staff member about a Taxi so the helpful lass rings this generally reliable outfit (whose name does not begin with 'A' BTW) for him and was asked "Whence/whither?". Admittedly it was only a short distance but remember that this gent was both aged and rather frail.

Without even inquiring about the needs of their potential passenger, or giving the lass a chance to explain the circumstance, the Taxi despatcher abruptly responds with 'No, we are not doing that' and hung up!

Jnr. repeats the call but that same despatcher repeats the definite 'No'; adding that 'you'll just have to get another company - We are not doing it'.

It was not even a peak period so several Flabbers were gasted (not a pretty sight, missus!) and this poor Gent grimly girded his withered loins and shuffled off on a rather decrepit shanks's pony.

Shortly afterwards our Jnr. Miss related the story to the boss/SWMBO who immediately flashed up and contacted another of our clients who is closely involved with that Taxi outfit for a draining-down session.

Apparently she received a positive response because he stated that 'whilst this despatcher is still fairly new this incident will most likely tip the balance...'
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