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Bloody Funny...... comments please?

sumkunt

Newbie
Hi DingDong - plus the other Guys who received my post well.

Firstly, thanks VERY much for the positive comments - I expected nothing less from Royal.

I wrote it some time ago - for personal cathartic reasons. I came across it on my computer and re-read it, found it amusing and thought others would.

I posted it up here first, because as an ex-Bootneck I knew the humour would be recognised and well received.

I also knew that it would go be HEF to any stray Matelots on the The Corps Forum.

Note to Matelots: HEF means High Elevation Fire and is a slang term meaning something has gone over somebody's head.

I mean this comment in no way to be disrespectful. The humour and parody was aimed at, and could only be enjoyed by, people with experience of ground operations conducted by UK Land Forces.

A note to Jarhead:

First, for a take on Friendly Fire, please put 'Matty Hull' into a Search Engine of your choice.

Then put 'Friendly Fire' in. Compare the percentage of US related Friendly Fire topics that are listed compared to any other nation's armed forces.

I am not saying Friendly Fire is an ill that is exclusive to US Forces. It has happened since the advent of war and will always happen. The problem is that it is a plague that is particularly virulent in US Forces, especially in regards to incidents in which US Forces kill their allies after displaying less than professional levels of Fire Discipline or Target Recognition.

If the incidents were proprtionately similar, for instance UK, Dutch or Candian forces vitteling up GI's then the 'fog of war' defence would be appropriate. However it is almost exclusively a US problem which has its roots in a lack of fire discipline.

Secondly, the imaginary unit was a US Army formation, not Marines. While US Marines have an eviable level of logistical support compared to Royal Marines, they generally go 'lite' compared to other branches of the US Armed Forces.

I would point you for edification towards an excellent book called "Fiasco - the The American Military Adventure in Iraq" by Thomas E. Ricks written in 2005 and published in the summer of 2006 - about 2 years after I wote my muse:

Chapter 9. 'How to Create an Insurgency (II) p.200 (I quote with all due recognition to the author):

"During this crucial period (Summer 2003), the US military seemed more concerned about its own well-being than about Iraqis.........An extrordinary part of the US military effort was devoted to providing for itself, with a huge push to build showers, mess halls, and coffee bars, and to install ameneties such as satelite television and internet cafes."

As for my muse, had the humour been generally well received, I would have invested some more time and effort in producing more, using the mythical book as a vehicle to deliver incisive comment on current military/political affairs.

After the generally good reception here, I posted it to the British Army equivalent site, the aptly named ARRSE.

It was NOT well received.

Firstly it was pulled because they thought it was a real book which I was plugging to sell.

I then reposted it with the explanation that it was NOT a real book, but it was a humorous parody.

The humour is intended to work on many levels, from slapstick to high-brow.

It was generally attacked, the humour was not understood, I was accused of being a Civvy (spelt Civi???) and I took a particularly savage mauling from 'goodkurtz' who I can only assume was an ex-Blanket-Stacker because he alone noticed that I mispelled Ordnance with is homophonic counterpart Ordinance - meaning a Christian religious rite.

The attack itself goodkurtz was like being savaged by a dead sheep.

The poster goodkurtz should be congratulated on his powers of observation, although he is clearly unfamiliar with the literary device known as double-entendre: Double Meaning

The play of words of the image of a US aircraft un-leashing Fire Power/Christian rite upon the Islamic Middle East was intended.

This actually escaped goodkurtz himself who expressed himself in language that shocked even me as an ex-Bootneck!! (For those who are humuristcally challenged, the last comment comes under 'Sarcasm'.)

Finally, the moderator PartTimePongo pulled the piece and put in a section called The ARRSE Hole - which is where things get sent they do not like.

As such, it could not serve its purpose as a delivery vehicle for incisive comment on current military affairs and topics.

In all probability, I shall now thin-out, my input neither needed nor welcome.

Although I will never forget my years service as a Royal Marine - and not a day goes by that I do not use at least one thing that I learned in the Corps - a Bootneck is something that I was, it is not something that I am.

I like to think I have retained what is good and discarded the negative aspects of life in a 'Blue Suit'.

Yours Aye,

SumKunt
 

AfterSSE

War Hero
A very funny read sumkunt, Bravo Zulu, hard to believe the gravel techs didn't get it... :thumright:

Dolphin Code: 90....
 
sumkunt said:
.... Firstly, thanks VERY much for the positive comments - I expected nothing less from Royal.

I posted it up here first, because as an ex-Bootneck I knew the humour would be recognised and well received.

I also knew that it would go be HEF to any stray Matelots on the The Corps Forum.

Note to Matelots: HEF means High Elevation Fire and is a slang term meaning something has gone over somebody's head.

I mean this comment in no way to be disrespectful. The humour and parody was aimed at, and could only be enjoyed by, people with experience of ground operations conducted by UK Land Forces.

Now that is funny! :dwarf:

Your reply is just wrong on so many counts. No disrespect to you either, SK, but I think you will find that the overwhelming majority, if not all, of the people who found your spoof chapter funny were serving or ex RN. Indeed, Nutty was the only matelot that did not find it funny. I didn't find it particularly funny, mainly because I found the humour all a bit too obvious, which is probabaly because I'm an old git and because I've heard so many variations on the same or similar themes.

I look forward to reading your next chapter . :thumright:

P.S. I fail to see why PTP pulled it, if that is what he in effect did.

Edited for repeated word.
 

Topstop

War Hero
Don`t get disheartened as an ex-submariner I thourght it was great and not as HEF as you think. :rambo:

Looking foreward to the next installment don`t give up :thumright: :thumright:
 

Seaweed

War Hero
Book Reviewer
I've just finished reading The Imperial War Museum Book of the War in Burma by Major General Julian Thompson (book HIGHLY recommended). There are numerous instances of friendly fire in it from aircraft, tanks and artillery to which I could add examples from the WW2 experiences of the senior generation of my own family.

Just one: In ca. 1941 a detachment of 1RM was paraded to witness strafing under their officer Hughie Griffith. A white tape was laid out on the ground and the marines were lined up parallel to it at a safe distance. The Spitfire pilot came in and mistook the line of upturned white faces for the tape ..
 

beltfedwombat

Midshipman
DingDong said:
I still thought it was absolutely hilarious. please please do ch 1-9 and then publish it.

Concur! I've worked with the US military on many levels, in the States, in the UK, ashore and afloat, in Kosovo and Afghanistan. Looking back I can recall a lot of really good blokes and one or two complete knobbers. No different to our own military really! Irrespective of that, I thought DS's dit was the dogs' bollocks. Like all the best humour it's based on more than just a kernel of truth.

If you've never experienced first hand the way our colonial cousins do business abroad, you could be forgiven for missing the humour. If you've never worked with the British Army, you could be forgiven for missing the humour. If you've lost the ability to laugh at the eccentricities of your own Service, you could be forgiven for missing the humour. However, for the majority of us who did get it, they'll be no forgiving Dick SumKunt if he doesn't provide us with another installment soon. If you haven't written it yet, get scribbling mate. You owe it to your fans!
 
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