Blondes

Discussion in 'Nautical Jokes' started by Ager50, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. Seven Degrees of Blondes
    >
    > FIRST DEGREE
    >
    > A married couple were sleeping when the phone rang
    > at 2 in the morning.
    > The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the
    > phone, listened a moment and
    > said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from
    > here!" and hung up.
    >
    > The husband said, "Who was that?"
    >
    > The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting
    > to know if the coast is
    > clear."
    >
    > SECOND DEGREE
    >
    > Two blondes are walking down the street. One
    > notices a compact on the
    > sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it,
    > looks in the mirror and
    > says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
    >
    > The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
    >
    > So the first blonde hands her the compact.
    >
    > The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You
    > dummy, it's me!"
    >
    > THIRD DEGREE
    >
    > A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on
    > her, so she goes out and
    > buys a gun.
    >
    > She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when
    > she opens the door she
    > finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
    > is really angry. She
    > opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does
    > so, she is overcome
    > with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
    > head.
    >
    > The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
    >
    > The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
    >
    > FOURTH DEGREE
    >
    > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of countries capitals.> Proudlyshe says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of
    > them."
    >
    > A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of
    > France>
    > The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:"F"
    >
    > FIFTH DEGREE
    >
    > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told
    > her she was pregnant?
    >
    > "Is it mine?"
    >
    > SIXTH DEGREE
    >
    > Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
    > freshman, sat in her US
    > government class. The professor asked Bambi if she
    > knew what Roe vs. Wade
    > was about.
    >
    > Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
    > "That was the decision
    > George Washington had to make before he crossed the
    > Delaware."
    >
    > SEVENTH DEGREE
    >
    > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
    > find her house
    > Ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the
    > police at once and
    > Reported the crime.
    >
    > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
    > radio, and a K-9 unit,
    > patrolling nearby was the first t o respond. As the
    > K-9 officer
    > Approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
    > blonde ran out on the
    > porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
    > dog, then sat down on the
    > steps.
    >
    > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come
    > home to find all my
    > possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and
    > what do they do?
    >
    > They send me a BLIND policeman."
    >
     

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