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Blimey History as well.

Rumrat

War Hero
Nobby was a sailor, god what a fuckin chap,
Seven creases in his trolleys, a bow wave in his cap,
A pronounced roll as he strode along, his cap bow at the front,
He tried his best to look real jack but his mates thought him a cunt.

He impressed all the civvies,... up the line at his local pub,
Telling tales of daring do and placing himself at the hub,
He wore a couple of medals and with his oppo buster brown,
It was Thursday night and payday so they both went up the town.

Alas one night in the boozer,some perce had had enough,
Of listening to Nobbys stories and called him a feed of chuff.
Ok you salty sea dog, lets here where you've been,
Tell us a war story, you fuckin three badge queen.

Nobby wasn't having that and came over all stroppy,
but when he tried to throw a punch he found his arm was floppy.
Too much rum this evening, had slowed him in the head,
But Jack the master of the game picked a bottle up instead.

He brought it round with venom he was injured after all,
This twat had named him "wally" that was a real bad call,
Cus whether Jack is blagging or playing the game dead straight,
When called a twat he got angry, as did Buster his mate.

Working now as a well paired team they attacked without a care,
And with the strength of an injured bull hoisted the pongo in the air,
They rushed with him towards the door holding his arms and his head,
But pissed as rats they found no door, but the window there instead.

Up they held him and tossed him, with never a fuckin care,
And the poor twat felt a pang of fear as he flew through the air,
He was right to have a grave concern, his worries were quite sound,
Cus unlike Nobby and Buster he knew,.. they were three stories from the ground.

Now gravity is a terrible thing added to acceleration,
for the speed that he now travelled at had cured his constipation,
He braced himself for impact that came with a terrible stab,
his feet first hit the pavement then his head caught up on a slab.

And now the moral of the story, now matter how you try,
perce is just an average soldier and wasn't meant to fly,
But thanks to Nobby and Buster, and perce's short cut route,
They formed the parachute regiment and gave them all a shute.

So now you understand the history of how Nobby started a trend,
And invented the parachute regiment , along with Buster his friend,
But percy got his own back and stuck a marine in a boat,
To prove the age old theory that even shit can float.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Very good rummers, were you bored last night, 3 poems from the Master RRat poet?:pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1::pottytrain1:
 
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