Of late I have had contact with several people that I served with many years ago, the one being none other than RR member Tanzi. Besides him I have made contact with about seven or eight others who were not just ship mates who served in the same ship at the same time, but were really close opps's, who I spent mega time with. Now the problem for me is this. Since I had my heart attack 5 years ago my whole outlook on life changed, in as much as I seem to have an aversion to re-establishing past attachments. There are others on RR who have had heart attacks or other life threatening illnesses and may well know what I am saying. Presented with friends from the past I feel as if I do not want to re-establish bonds knowing at our age they may well not be for long, with the associated stress and upsets when they finish. Also seeing some one 40 odd years on and, when you last saw them as a strapping young buck is strangely upsetting. I had a house guest quite recently, a bloke I served with 40 years ago, and as my outlook has changed little over the years I was disappointed to observe the fun loving barn storming bugger he was, is no longer there. He was like my idea of a "nice old gentleman". I bullshit no one when I say I have disposed of several small fortunes in my life and have always paid no great deal or attachment to money or wealth. I do not mean I am cavalier enough to deprive my family, and am by no means poor.The oppo from the past whilst also not poor seemed to be watching every penny he spent and seemed thousands of miles away from way back. Nostalgia upsets me and makes me want to avoid things from the past unless they are funny. I do not do war stories as they hold there own tragedies for me. Curiosity makes me want to make limited contact but that seems to be it. I do not have the same outlook as to new friends which strikes me as strange, I loved meeting Stirling and 2Badge Mango and look forward to meeting many more from RR as I intend to do soon with Jesse. I know I have posted this in Lil's but I am quite serious about the subject, and wonder if any of the older members have had the same sort of mixed feelings, especially the ones who have had said illnesses and then rediscovered old buddies.