Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Black eye friday

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
seenoffteefcuk said:
Haggis_Catcher said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
I think i had my black eye thursday.
cant find my keys
swamped on the landing
missing one of my bats
woke flatmate at 0400
cant remember where i was
cant remember how i got home
didnt turn up for work therefore losing 20 quid an hour
daren't tell my missus even though i know she will find out(i dont know how but they always do)
im now getting dressed to start it all over again
yippee

you arrived home using the magical beer scooter which was reliably guided by the trusted kebab compass. :lol:

managed to get through the security entrance but not the flat door
if my flatmate had awoken earlier i may not of swamped on the landing therefore its not my fault

Agreed that it is not your fault.

Last weekend i woke up on the landing floor stark bollock naked. My old man woke my up at 8am as he went for a slash. My mate was in my room asleep on the floor near to the door and blocked my way (that's my story and i'm sticking to it :D ).
 

hamisatypeofcheese

Lantern Swinger
jjp23 said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
Haggis_Catcher said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
I think i had my black eye thursday.
cant find my keys
swamped on the landing
missing one of my bats
woke flatmate at 0400
cant remember where i was
cant remember how i got home
didnt turn up for work therefore losing 20 quid an hour
daren't tell my missus even though i know she will find out(i dont know how but they always do)
im now getting dressed to start it all over again
yippee

you arrived home using the magical beer scooter which was reliably guided by the trusted kebab compass. :lol:

managed to get through the security entrance but not the flat door
if my flatmate had awoken earlier i may not of swamped on the landing therefore its not my fault

Agreed that it is not your fault.

Last weekend i woke up on the landing floor stark bollock naked. My old man woke my up at 8am as he went for a slash. My mate was in my room asleep on the floor near to the door and blocked my way (that's my story and i'm sticking to it :D ).

jjp, it would seem that after a night of passionate loving you refused to spoon with your "mate" and he forced you out onto the landing and blocked the door to stop you getting back in :roll:
 

Pontius

War Hero
A bloody shame that Clown Puncher couldn't attend the party that was thrown on Saturday night for my wife's company. It was held at a bar/restaurant/nightclub-type place. You know the sort; it starts off a somewhere to get your intake of victuals and then the music kicks off and everybody gets to practice the Hornpipe. This particular venue is very popular with the young crowd, probably due to the extensive use of chrome, flashing lights (with the occasional occulting beacon) and loud music.

Anyway, true to form, the Xmas girls arrived and f**k me was it a sight to behold. Seeing as the temperature had got into the mid-30s during the day, all the birds obviously thought Santa dresses had to be as short as humanly possible and it was brilliant. One girl had the biggest top bollox this side of the Black Stump and her little Santa outfit could barely keep her contained. The great thing was, she was slim and a looker, so not your normal big-titted, but ugly, munter. It truly was a thing of beauty watching all these birds of paradise shaking their bits on the dance floor and seeing who could come up with the skimpiest rig-of-the-day.

Unfortunately, the Ultimate Power was there or else I might have had to help with some Xmas celebrations :cry:
 
Pontius said:
......Unfortunately, the Ultimate Power was there or else I might have had to help with some Xmas celebrations :cry:



.....those restricted to a Diet do not sin by looking at Menu....

Confucus, Confuscioos, Confuseeitoff, ???


B*X - let me see that Menu again

:twisted:
 

seenoffteefcuk

War Hero
guess what black eye friday went just aswell
have not recieved any black eyes yet but my shenanigans will surely warrant its only a matter of time.
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
My black eye Friday went very well apart from getting into a little scrufflemuggins with a pilot.

If you are reading this Sir, you are a cock and I'm glad I put you on your arse, you were a guest in my mess and your behaviour was unacceptable. As I pointed out to you at the time I don't give a fcuk how many tons of steal you can keep airborne or how many pips you have on your shoulder, I am not one of your fcuktard regular Toms that you can order around, especially not in my own fcuking bar while you are pissed. To further re-iterate, do not judge me by the rank that I wear, I am infinitely more clever and articulate than you, not to mention considerably wealthier than you could ever hope to be as a pilot in HM Armed Forces and as I proved in front of 800 or so people I can and will knock you on your arse any time I fcuking want.

Rant over.

Anyway apart from that it was a top fcuking night, even the missus thought so and she spent most of it throwing up in the heads.
 

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
Glad to see other people's nights went well.

Mine was interesting but awsome. The highlights, in order, were:

1.Falling down a flight of stairs into a cellar bar.
2.Losing my new phone.
3.Going with the woman who lives over the road from me.
4.Pulling an office bird from some xmas do (not dressed up though, but tall blonde and abit older than me :D ).
5.Going back to a club and attempting to pull another bird but one that wasn't as good, got clocked by a bouncer trying to have a touch on the dancefloor and asked to leave the establishment.
6.Hitched a lift home with the local bobbies as they said they feared for my saftey because i was so drunk.

Woke up covered in bruises, new phone missing, boxers from the night before missing and a hangover that was one of the worst i have ever had.
 
G

guestm

Guest
BUMP.

Because here it comes again!



 

LujonSA

War Hero
you have definite potential my good man
xmas is about sharing so i will do as you said and share the love and therefore try to trap them all
happy days

Always assuming that you actually the manjuice to go around the entire harem. Bon chance et bon courage mon ancient matelot.
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
I'm off out now for a couple of hours swall and test this theroy. I reckon I might be starting too early.
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
Nope, I never seen any action. But that might have been because I was minging with a massive wobble on and fucked off early like a two pint lightweight.

FFS, what the fuck am I doing up at this time in the morning. Oh aye, I set my alarm.
 

MG Maniac

War Hero
Black Eye Friday report!

Survived the night ... only as I had been pinned in the corner by she who must be obeyed and not allowed to move/throw myself around on the dance floor but she did ensure the glass was kept topped up!. However ... 16y old son of one of our party returned breathless from the dance floor with reports of a old woman (60 y old) in a gold foil dress (halter necked and slashed to the waist) who was throwing herself around to "dancing queen" when her tits reached escape velocity and moving in counterclockwise dierections hoved into view! Whats more the slags' dress was slashed hem to upper thigh and he went on to report she was commando ... I took it from this that he thought she was a bootie in run ashore rig however I gather he meant she was not wearing any shreddies as apparently whilst attempting some highly imaginative dancing move normally only seen on Strictly ... the whole lot was on dispay!

It wasn't until a while later I made a foray into the bar and this "thing" of beauty??? came into view ... Arghhhh my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
D Taffy's black eye Miscellaneous 0
MoD_RSS Border Force in Northern Ireland seize more than 2 tonnes of black market tobacco MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Border Force seize 10 million black market cigarettes MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Prime Minister's video message for Black History Month: 1 October 2020 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UK exporter shortlisted for the Black British Business Awards MoD News 0
soleil FB: Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity - Black Tot Day - 50th Anniversary History 11
Dusty70 Black Tot Day 31st July - 50th Anniversary Diamond Lil's 25
MoD_RSS Updated plans for A428 Black Cat and Caxton Gibbet upgrade go on show MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Prime Minister message on Black Lives Matter MoD News 1
MoD_RSS 50 years since Black Arrow launched the UK into space MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Changes to licensing of the lethal control of herring gull and lesser black-backed gull MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Pharmacist sentenced for supplying drugs on the black market MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Counter-poaching troops help with historic Black Rhino move in Malawi MoD News 0
B I'm black guy about to start phrase 1 will i be bullied and experience racism because im black? Joining the Royal Navy 46
slim Anyone should be allowed to 'identify' as black regardless of the colour of their skin or background, say university leaders Current Affairs 16
MoD_RSS Sussex criminal sentenced for laundering proceeds from the sale of black-market medicines MoD News 0
skyvet Black Tot Day 2019 History 23
MoD_RSS News story: London seminar: Overcoming the barriers to change for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic young offenders MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Foreign Secretary statement on international sanctions in response to Russian aggression in the Black Sea MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: UK and Romania signal shared commitment to Black Sea security MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Route unveiled for major new road and junction at Black Cat MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Professor Dame Carol Black announced as independent reviewer of drugs MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Culture Secretary steps into secure Black Cultural Archives' future MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: RAF typhoons investigate Russians over Black Sea MoD News 0
Keithdwat579 Black Royal Navy Officer Cap Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 10
skyvet Black Tot Day Commemorations Diamond Lil's 2
MoD_RSS News story: World War 1 Black Watch hero finally laid to rest MoD News 0
Stevie Dore Anyone with a black belt? Bloody Computers 6
janner RN's Second Black Day. Diamond Lil's 17
Tui Bird Grey or Black screen when downloading a video Bloody Computers 0
B Black Tie? Social & Reunions 6
SONAR-BENDER Black Friday Diamond Lil's 4
sgtpepperband "One shot on the black, mate..." Sports and Adventure Training 1
soleil Mail: 'History In Black And White: WWI Vessels To Be Repainted In 'Dazzle Camouflage' History 1
soleil Pompey News: "When The Boys From The Black Squad Came Up For A Smoke" History 1
soleil Herald: "Royal Marines Complete Exercise Black Alligator In California" The Corps 1
W POLC Black Mountains Route Health & Fitness 3
BillyNoMates Black & White. Diamond Lil's 34
W Wearing of medals on civilian black tie The Quarterdeck 14
Guns Black and White photos to colour History 0
D Black Sabbath - 13 Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 10
SONAR-BENDER Harry Black (or pink, or green, or blue!) maskers! Diamond Lil's 3
Andy_Cap Black testicles Miscellaneous 0
scouse Black cats 2013 The Fleet Air Arm 3
S Thick, black regulator for the showers The Quarterdeck 21
trelawney126 Yvette Cooper and the Black Kettle Diamond Lil's 0
soleil Mail: "Near Miss Or Just Teasing? RN Black Cats Take To The Sky" The Fleet Air Arm 3
soleil T'graph: "Admiral Lord West: 'The Big Lie Of The Defence Funding 'Black Hole'" Current Affairs 5
Handler The Black Cats The Fleet Air Arm 3
soleil RN Black Cats Helicopter Display Team - Central London From The Air The Fleet Air Arm 6
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top