Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Black eye friday

off_les_aura

War Hero
seenoffteefcuk said:
she does have a look of cruella with short hair its defo the hair thing that scares me her fringe is the longest part of it and its got quite a large grey highlight bit thing
i avoid that office like the plague cos i just end up staring at her its like part of her hair as died.
its proper fcuked up

I'm intrigued too now. With that kind of hair pattern going on she might have a minge like a badgers face.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
seenoffteefcuk said:
mother in laws are the spawn of satan they say that to get a futrue glimpse of your bird lookat her mother
im lucky my bird looks like her dad

Latent homosexual tendencies?? :wink:
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Clown_Puncher said:
WreckerL said:
Have a pop at all of them, your bound to strike lucky with at least one of them. You could make them jealous, cause a mahoosive cat fight and bonk the survivor.

Spoken by a true master, this is the best solution.

But.......

In years gone by, I have in similar circumstances tried this ploy. Being civvy birds and no sense of timing, they tend to dither around.
Jack being jack although sniffin fanny, does not get distracted from the prime objective,............Glop.
So,......I usually end up shiters, spew up over two of them, get decked by the third, and branded animal by anything else in viewing distance.
At this point at tactical retreat is in order as to gatecrash the next door office party. :oops: :)

And seen off, is her willy as big?
 

seenoffteefcuk

War Hero
off_les_aura said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
she does have a look of cruella with short hair its defo the hair thing that scares me her fringe is the longest part of it and its got quite a large grey highlight bit thing
i avoid that office like the plague cos i just end up staring at her its like part of her hair as died.
its proper fcuked up

I'm intrigued too now. With that kind of hair pattern going on she might have a minge like a badgers face.

not long till i find out i reckon
it puts a whole new meaning to the phrase badger baiting
and i really hope it smells like fcuk proper older woman smell when you know they are conscios of it cos they try to hide the smell with perfume but it just doesnt last long enough and eventually the skunk wins the battle with just a hint of perfume but mostly rotten beef and a drizzle of shit
 

Rumrat

War Hero
seenoffteefcuk said:
off_les_aura said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
she does have a look of cruella with short hair its defo the hair thing that scares me her fringe is the longest part of it and its got quite a large grey highlight bit thing
i avoid that office like the plague cos i just end up staring at her its like part of her hair as died.
its proper fcuked up

I'm intrigued too now. With that kind of hair pattern going on she might have a minge like a badgers face.

not long till i find out i reckon
it puts a whole new meaning to the phrase badger baiting
and i really hope it smells like fcuk proper older woman smell when you know they are conscios of it cos they try to hide the smell with perfume but it just doesnt last long enough and eventually the skunk wins the battle with just a hint of perfume but mostly rotten beef and a drizzle of shit


I fcukin hope you mother aint reading your post's, you won't get her out the friggin bathroom this side of next crimbo :D :cry:
 

lsadirty

War Hero
MoD office parties in the 80s/90s were always good for a laugh: management in their little cliques displaying their knowledge of wine :
"This Bulgarian red is rather nice - what region is it from, Peter ?"
"Chile."
The new Big White Chief looking at his watch, wondering what time it all finishes.
"When the last person leaves, I lock up".
Enough food to feed the duty watch of the INVINCIBLE and ILLUSTRIOUS, with the single Jewish lad trying to demolish it single handed. (Every year, without fail.)
The female boss who drunkenly told me she knew what I was thinking - so I took her in the secure room and gave her one over the desk (well it was Christmas, and she was right.)
And to make the day a total entertainment experience, having a set to with the Revenue People after falling asleep on the train, and waking up in a state of severe confusion at Sevenoaks or more usually Dartford for travelling outside my railcard zone. Bastards !!
 

Rumrat

War Hero
I worked for Hales industrial Services some years ago, and got promoted to shift supervisor so got invited to the "Management bash".
As Hales was a subsidiary of the parent group Ready Mixed Concrete, the bash was held down at Dunstabubble, and they hired a mini bus to take us down, booked into a hotel for the night and the dinner dance, home next day.
Drank a bottle of Vodka on the way down, pissed as a rat, turned up at the do, ate my dinner, insisted some twot had nicked it and made a scene until they gave me more.
Barracked the Managing Director all through his after diner speech, threw up on the dance floor, shagged the Rugby office managers missus, and got rumbled by a white rat.
Two days after the return to work in the new year, services no longer required.
I think it was the two diners that did it. :roll: :wink:
 

lsadirty

War Hero
Down in Guzz, BaE had a factory in Southway, and they always had their Xmas party in my local, the Falstaff, without any trouble at all. When they shut down their factory in Hatfield and moved the staff to Guzz, the new guys started trying to take over the best offices etc, thereby pissing off the locals something fearsome.
Every Xmas, the landlord would say "You used to work for Bae, Jan - you're entitled to go in to their works do" (and get tore into their free ale, no bother). Always stood at the middle of the bar, because every year, "the Yokels" would end up having a free for all with "the gobby Cockneys", at which time, the free beer finished, and it was back to the public bar with the locals.
 
Kittykat said:
That's your deal broke with Rosina then!!!!


Dear Kittykat,

Isn't it a lovely Decamber day? I'm afraid you are mistaken. As you can see below, the deal was made with the lovely, slim and non-nosh giving Rosie after I posted this account of what I am going to do to young nubile girls.

Whilst I firmly believe that you too are lovely, I hope you don't have anything to do with signals or crypto:

Blackeye friday:posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:49 pm

Tenuous deal with Rosie: Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:18 pm

Thankyou for conversationalising with me, it was my absolute pleasure.

Bye bye
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
Clown_Puncher said:
Kittykat said:
That's your deal broke with Rosina then!!!!


Dear Kittykat,

Isn't it a lovely Decamber day? I'm afraid you are mistaken. As you can see below, the deal was made with the lovely, slim and non-nosh giving Rosie after I posted this account of what I am going to do to young nubile girls.

Whilst I firmly believe that you too are lovely, I hope you don't have anything to do with signals or crypto:

Blackeye friday:posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:49 pm

Tenuous deal with Rosie: Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:18 pm

Thankyou for conversationalising with me, it was my absolute pleasure.

Bye bye


:lol: cnutchops, all typed through gritted teeth no doubt.
 

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
Well it is upon us.

I have been trying to convince myself all week that i was going to have a quiet weekend, but then today arrived and bugger me without realising i had text my good pal and arranged to meet him.

Now i know that tonight has serious potential to be epic and i am very exited about the forthcoming events.

Shit, shower, shave, shine - check
Favorite jeans - check
Very stylish jumper - check
Shoes - check
Money - check

I do expect a number of other forum members to make the most of this special event and report in with all stories of the events that are about to unfold.

Good luck and enjoy chaps.
 

seenoffteefcuk

War Hero
I think i had my black eye thursday.
cant find my keys
swamped on the landing
missing one of my bats
woke flatmate at 0400
cant remember where i was
cant remember how i got home
didnt turn up for work therefore losing 20 quid an hour
daren't tell my missus even though i know she will find out(i dont know how but they always do)
im now getting dressed to start it all over again
yippee
 

Haggis_Catcher

War Hero
seenoffteefcuk said:
I think i had my black eye thursday.
cant find my keys
swamped on the landing
missing one of my bats
woke flatmate at 0400
cant remember where i was
cant remember how i got home
didnt turn up for work therefore losing 20 quid an hour
daren't tell my missus even though i know she will find out(i dont know how but they always do)
im now getting dressed to start it all over again
yippee

you arrived home using the magical beer scooter which was reliably guided by the trusted kebab compass. :lol:
 

jjp23

Lantern Swinger
2_deck_dash said:
Fcuking right, for a full break down of my plans for tonight look here:

http://www.navy-net.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=24210.html

:lol: , i did read that and i must congratuate your previous efforts. I am sure that tonight you will manage to top that and i can't wait to hear about it.

My plans for tonight are:

Finish work at 5 and meet my mate in the local. Have about 4/5 pints before heading off into town. Do the rounds of a few bars and look what talent is about for the night and which dick heads are about. Get absolutley shit faced asap. Find some office party and work my way in, eventually ending up with one of the secretaries from the company party out the back or in the shitters.

Following this i have been informed that a local bar has hired a snow canon. I expect this is the place for me to find some highly rated young bit of fluff as they will get over exited, the snow will get them wet and my place is nearby to warm then up.

As i type this i have just received a message from a pal that reads (i will translate from text/mong speak) 'mate, my mrs is out tonight on her work do, there is a girl called michelle who is 23, good looking but shy. You know what to do, see you later.' This may well be jackpot, oh my god i am exited, this is going to be fantastic.

Side note - I shall not be fighting/causing any trouble with the office twats that there will be or i will not be going to Raleigh. Also, i am a happy drunk.
 

seenoffteefcuk

War Hero
Haggis_Catcher said:
seenoffteefcuk said:
I think i had my black eye thursday.
cant find my keys
swamped on the landing
missing one of my bats
woke flatmate at 0400
cant remember where i was
cant remember how i got home
didnt turn up for work therefore losing 20 quid an hour
daren't tell my missus even though i know she will find out(i dont know how but they always do)
im now getting dressed to start it all over again
yippee

you arrived home using the magical beer scooter which was reliably guided by the trusted kebab compass. :lol:

managed to get through the security entrance but not the flat door
if my flatmate had awoken earlier i may not of swamped on the landing therefore its not my fault
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
D Taffy's black eye Miscellaneous 0
MoD_RSS Border Force in Northern Ireland seize more than 2 tonnes of black market tobacco MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Border Force seize 10 million black market cigarettes MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Prime Minister's video message for Black History Month: 1 October 2020 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UK exporter shortlisted for the Black British Business Awards MoD News 0
soleil FB: Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity - Black Tot Day - 50th Anniversary History 11
Dusty70 Black Tot Day 31st July - 50th Anniversary Diamond Lil's 25
MoD_RSS Updated plans for A428 Black Cat and Caxton Gibbet upgrade go on show MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Prime Minister message on Black Lives Matter MoD News 1
MoD_RSS 50 years since Black Arrow launched the UK into space MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Changes to licensing of the lethal control of herring gull and lesser black-backed gull MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Pharmacist sentenced for supplying drugs on the black market MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Counter-poaching troops help with historic Black Rhino move in Malawi MoD News 0
B I'm black guy about to start phrase 1 will i be bullied and experience racism because im black? Joining the Royal Navy 46
slim Anyone should be allowed to 'identify' as black regardless of the colour of their skin or background, say university leaders Current Affairs 16
MoD_RSS Sussex criminal sentenced for laundering proceeds from the sale of black-market medicines MoD News 0
skyvet Black Tot Day 2019 History 23
MoD_RSS News story: London seminar: Overcoming the barriers to change for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic young offenders MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Foreign Secretary statement on international sanctions in response to Russian aggression in the Black Sea MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: UK and Romania signal shared commitment to Black Sea security MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Route unveiled for major new road and junction at Black Cat MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Professor Dame Carol Black announced as independent reviewer of drugs MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Culture Secretary steps into secure Black Cultural Archives' future MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: RAF typhoons investigate Russians over Black Sea MoD News 0
Keithdwat579 Black Royal Navy Officer Cap Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 10
skyvet Black Tot Day Commemorations Diamond Lil's 2
MoD_RSS News story: World War 1 Black Watch hero finally laid to rest MoD News 0
Stevie Dore Anyone with a black belt? Bloody Computers 6
janner RN's Second Black Day. Diamond Lil's 17
Tui Bird Grey or Black screen when downloading a video Bloody Computers 0
B Black Tie? Social & Reunions 6
SONAR-BENDER Black Friday Diamond Lil's 4
sgtpepperband "One shot on the black, mate..." Sports and Adventure Training 1
soleil Mail: 'History In Black And White: WWI Vessels To Be Repainted In 'Dazzle Camouflage' History 1
soleil Pompey News: "When The Boys From The Black Squad Came Up For A Smoke" History 1
soleil Herald: "Royal Marines Complete Exercise Black Alligator In California" The Corps 1
W POLC Black Mountains Route Health & Fitness 3
BillyNoMates Black & White. Diamond Lil's 34
W Wearing of medals on civilian black tie The Quarterdeck 14
Guns Black and White photos to colour History 0
D Black Sabbath - 13 Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 10
SONAR-BENDER Harry Black (or pink, or green, or blue!) maskers! Diamond Lil's 3
Andy_Cap Black testicles Miscellaneous 0
scouse Black cats 2013 The Fleet Air Arm 3
S Thick, black regulator for the showers The Quarterdeck 21
trelawney126 Yvette Cooper and the Black Kettle Diamond Lil's 0
soleil Mail: "Near Miss Or Just Teasing? RN Black Cats Take To The Sky" The Fleet Air Arm 3
soleil T'graph: "Admiral Lord West: 'The Big Lie Of The Defence Funding 'Black Hole'" Current Affairs 5
Handler The Black Cats The Fleet Air Arm 3
soleil RN Black Cats Helicopter Display Team - Central London From The Air The Fleet Air Arm 6
Similar threads


















































Top