My favourite time of year is fast approaching. No not Christmas, I hate Christmas it's a load of old horsetoss. BLACK EYE FRIDAY! Yes, the final day of work for civvies up and down the country, they will all go out, have two glasses of house white and get absolutely fcuking monged in our locals, all whilst wearing hilarious reindeer antlers. Hell, some comedy genius from an I.T. firm will even put mistletoe on his belt, get it? get it? Kiss my cock! Ho ho! Come 2300, the booze will have taken it's toll, many of them will have been sparked out by the real drinkers who grace a pub more than once a year (or 3 or 4 times if there's a world cup on). The women will all be crying or getting one thrown up them behind the wheelie bins. I love it, I love it I tells ya! I will be going out as early as possible to see as much of this hilarious mayhem as possible, having been deployed for the last three Christmas's I've got a lot of catching up to do, so I'm aiming to knock the piss out of at least three office hardmen who have had one mulled wine too many. A blowy off of some corporate cunts wife, one up the shitbox of a platinum blonde secretary wearing a santa dress and reindeer deely-boppers; and finally, the coup de grace: A full on night of horrendous debauchery with some 18 year old slag who has yet to be accepted by any of her colleagues because: A) The women hate her because she is too young and too attractive. And B) the men won't speak to her because they are civvie gayers and scared. Fcuking get in there!