Black eye friday

My favourite time of year is fast approaching. No not Christmas, I hate Christmas it's a load of old horsetoss. BLACK EYE FRIDAY!

Yes, the final day of work for civvies up and down the country, they will all go out, have two glasses of house white and get absolutely fcuking monged in our locals, all whilst wearing hilarious reindeer antlers. Hell, some comedy genius from an I.T. firm will even put mistletoe on his belt, get it? get it? Kiss my cock! Ho ho!

Come 2300, the booze will have taken it's toll, many of them will have been sparked out by the real drinkers who grace a pub more than once a year (or 3 or 4 times if there's a world cup on). The women will all be crying or getting one thrown up them behind the wheelie bins.

I love it, I love it I tells ya!

I will be going out as early as possible to see as much of this hilarious mayhem as possible, having been deployed for the last three Christmas's I've got a lot of catching up to do, so I'm aiming to knock the piss out of at least three office hardmen who have had one mulled wine too many. A blowy off of some corporate cunts wife, one up the shitbox of a platinum blonde secretary wearing a santa dress and reindeer deely-boppers; and finally, the coup de grace:

A full on night of horrendous debauchery with some 18 year old slag who has yet to be accepted by any of her colleagues because: A) The women hate her because she is too young and too attractive. And B) the men won't speak to her because they are civvie gayers and scared.


Fcuking get in there!

 

I thought you meant Donkey Punch Friday.

 

That goes without saying.

 

Already had my sesh.

 

I fcuking love this time off year, not just black eye friday as you call it.

Every friday and saturday until christmas will have a number of young 18year olds or old women dressed up as a dirty santa trying to get some attention. And for some reason at this festive time women seem to forget their morals/bofriends and husbands, they seem to think its the time to have some fun and lighthearted shagging about. I ferking love it!!

There will be the odd girly works do and these seem to get somewhat raunchy and out of control but a little bit of careful watching and you can pick one off from the bunch for a quick nosh. These are the sorts that on returning to work are embarassed and all the others whisper about, known as the office slut for that point.

You also seem to get the mother and daughter night out that happens once a year, now anyone that wakes up with one or both of these sorts should be knighted.

Then you get to the girls that go out every week, they get pissed off at the new girls out on thier patch who get alot more attention as they are fresh meat! So they up thier game and go all out to one fired up the shitter.

Of course you get the drunken twats as you pointed out CP but they usually back down from any trouble and are shit at pulling anyway.

Merry Fcuking Christmas.

 

It's fcuking awesome isn't it?

 

It is just fantastic, it is the best month of the year for going out and getting some clunge!

Also, any other time of the year if you go out drinking all week then your a piss head. But, go out all over christmas and your just getting in the spirt and being festive.


I think i may have blurted everywhere in exitement!!

 

No wonder the world is such a sad state.You guys have forgotten what this time of year is all about,its not all about you,its about love and kindness and friendship.Its about caring for others and for sharing.Its about Reindeer and snowmen and the laughter of little children. Its not about taking some drunken slut up the ricker,no,its about helping her to find a taxi home to the safety of her loved ones. Its not about shagging some old doll senseless just because shes up for it and her husband just got a million quid bonus,no,its about being happy to live in a country that can support such worthy people.This year ,same as last, I will be doing my Christian duty. I too ,will be at the back of the pub trawling through the wheelie bins and my faith gives me hope that this year friends,this year I will find maddie and I'll bring her home and bathe her and give her some nice roast potatoes and turkey and sprouts and lots of stuffing.

 

I can't wait for the whole beautiful experience. Stood at the bar, as pissed as I am any time I go out but monumentally sober compared to these clownshoes. Shiters office whores catching my eye and forced to rub against me due to the ludicrous volume of people crammed into the juicer.

It is guarnteed that around about midnight, I will watch an 18 year old girl in a santa dress, who has lost all motor skills due to Lambrini, struggle to haul her nicks back up folllowing me destroying her on the bonnet of someone's A4. All whilst simultaneously blubbering that her eyes sting because they've got my jizz in them

I'm so excited I'm going to punch myself in the face.

RAAAAARGH!

 

:lol:

 

It is the same with the January sales that start the day after bxing day, all these cnut's do the shop then cram the pubs with fcuking shipping orders and all their wank shite they have just bought strewn all over the shop, accidently on purpose tripped over and trampled on by the locals.

 

Yes yes YEEES! You're going to fcuking get it.

 

Christmas cane for anyone

 

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

That's better, where were we?

Oh yeah, i can't wait to get my grubby mits on some totally trashed little bit of young filth.

Just for 4to8, i will treat her with kindness this year and treat her to a blue WKD. As you pointed out it is the time for sharing so when i am done i will find a mate who can empty his man fat all over her, talk about being generous. I will then make sure she gets home to her loved ones and then proceed to molest all of them! :wink:

 

best thing about the night by time am out a lot of young fillies will be wasted will be like walking through the whore house.

 

You have indeed restored my faith in the caring side of human nature jj. If My search is successful this Fritzletide, I would be honoured to have you as guest at a threesome. This is gonna be great.

 

I reckon jjp23 is going to fit right in straight away when he joins up.

 

Fit in? DP ? good on ye brig,a perfect idea thats quite made my day.M&S could never do a chrimbo like this.

 

Thank you. I am looking forward to it so much i even counted the days till i go to Raleigh today, my civvy job is shite and my jokes don't get the laughs they deserve :roll: .

Oh well, not long now.

 

I have just been away making preparations for it, got duck tape and string.

God, i can't wait.