BLACK CATTING

#1
This thread is for those tales of untruthfullness in the Andrew that bordered upon Waltsmanship but were not really the same thing. The serious stuff goes in the WALTS thread.

PADRES, LAWYERS AND JUNIORS WELCOME !!! SPIN US YER DITS!
 
#2
When on the YORK, a few of us were sitting in the PO's Mess and watching the Olympics and in particular, the gymnastic session.

Me: Blimey, would love to shag one of those girlies, they must be able to get into all sorts of postitions.

Blackcatter: Yeah, I used to shag one and they are good, but I'll tell ya something, not anywhere near as good as the trapeeze artist I used to shag though.

He was a PO Greenie called Dave. I shall leave it there. :)
 
#5
I did a draft on the Gigantic -3rd in the Massive Class (Penant number B.I.G 1) the Fleet Chief Greenie had finished with the Ballet Troope and was shagging Olga Korbutt. He use to put in a CTM every weekend to Kiev, but it wasn't too bad cos the Fwd Gangway was in Kiel
 
#7
When I was shit house sweeper on the Quantum I was forced to perform sexual acts, from behind, upon the Female (4 ring) Captain whilst she wore her hat, suspenders, stokings and black court shoes and peered out of the bridge window pretending all was well during a RAS with a Russian Navy Oiler.

Or was I Buffers Mate at the time, at least the rest is correct.

NUtty
 
#8
When I was baby plod at a certain Souff Lunnun Police Station I had to shag the Duty Woman Police Inspector in the back seat of a marked police (jam sandwich) whilst on duty in overtime on a bank hoilday being paid double double time.

Yes she had her hat on.

NUtty
 
#9
When I was in that London police station I shagged the Duty Woman Police Inspector twice in both back seats. Fnar, fnar. She actually paid me double time as I had put in 'double' the effort.
 
#10
brigham600 said:
When I was in that London police station I shagged the Duty Woman Police Inspector twice in both back seats. Fnar, fnar. She actually paid me double time as I had put in 'double' the effort.
Brigham

I did not want to mention the act of sodomy after I had shagged her as that was illegal at that time in history.

Nutty
 
#14
Fish, I heard it was actually impossible to sew up the gapping hole ever again and that the Chedder Gorge potholing club were showing an interest. :)
 
#15
brigham600 said:
When on the YORK, a few of us were sitting in the PO's Mess and watching the Olympics and in particular, the gymnastic session.

Me: Blimey, would love to shag one of those girlies, they must be able to get into all sorts of postitions.

Blackcatter: Yeah, I used to shag one and they are good, but I'll tell ya something, not anywhere near as good as the trapeeze artist I used to shag though.

He was a PO Greenie called Dave. I shall leave it there. :)
Do you remember this guy from the mighty York, he was a bit of a "two sheds" !
 
#19
SAM_The_Man_Dicosta said:
Bit of a cross thread here with jack snacks,,,

How about this for a cheesie hammy eggy !


More info here,, if you can read french it's even better:
Mega cheesy hammy eggy
This is terrible. This is a British National Dish and should be registered as such with the European Commission before the Froggies steal pussers Mother's Pride(TM) and joy, the Cheesy eggy hammy! Arise you sleeping sons of England, get off yer lazy arses, sharpen yer cutlasses and fight for our heritage! Cry Harry for England, Cheesy Eggy Hammy for St.George!
 
#20
When i was younger i used to race Greyhounds, i had one bitch that won evey race i put her in, when the trap opened she was just a blur, eventually no-one would let her run anymore she was breaking the bookies.
She started to put on a lot of weight , i begged and pleaded to let her run just once to get her weight down, and they agreed.
The trap opened and whoosh, gone, then half way round she stopped dead and gave birth to six puppies, she still went on to win the race, one of her pups came second.
 
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