I did a draft on the Gigantic -3rd in the Massive Class (Penant number B.I.G 1) the Fleet Chief Greenie had finished with the Ballet Troope and was shagging Olga Korbutt. He use to put in a CTM every weekend to Kiev, but it wasn't too bad cos the Fwd Gangway was in Kiel
When I was shit house sweeper on the Quantum I was forced to perform sexual acts, from behind, upon the Female (4 ring) Captain whilst she wore her hat, suspenders, stokings and black court shoes and peered out of the bridge window pretending all was well during a RAS with a Russian Navy Oiler.
Or was I Buffers Mate at the time, at least the rest is correct.
When I was baby plod at a certain Souff Lunnun Police Station I had to shag the Duty Woman Police Inspector in the back seat of a marked police (jam sandwich) whilst on duty in overtime on a bank hoilday being paid double double time.
This is terrible. This is a British National Dish and should be registered as such with the European Commission before the Froggies steal pussers Mother's Pride(TM) and joy, the Cheesyeggyhammy! Arise you sleeping sons of England, get off yer lazy arses, sharpen yer cutlasses and fight for our heritage! Cry Harry for England, CheesyEggyHammy for St.George!
When i was younger i used to race Greyhounds, i had one bitch that won evey race i put her in, when the trap opened she was just a blur, eventually no-one would let her run anymore she was breaking the bookies.
She started to put on a lot of weight , i begged and pleaded to let her run just once to get her weight down, and they agreed.
The trap opened and whoosh, gone, then half way round she stopped dead and gave birth to six puppies, she still went on to win the race, one of her pups came second.