Bl%$€ Boards

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by drewfester, Mar 2, 2013.

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  1. My 18 month old has today discovered chalk :). Thanks to daddy playing darts in the local. Mrs DF suggested I build an easle with blackboard for her. That's not a problem as I have stuff in the shed, what worries me, honest ;), is will I be seen as teaching my little one racist stuff??
    Also, is it ok to teach my child to throw mini spears? (Obviously racist!)
    Advice please :):)
  2. The simple solution is to refer to the blackboard as a chalkboard when Miss DF is in earshot.Also a cheap box of coloured chalks(i.e. anything but white) from poundland should keep away the race relations police.
    Most women I've seen playing darts couldn't hit a barn door stood inside so by the time your tot masters the game she'll be out of your control so you can rest easy.
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  3. drewfester, oh drewfester I am so disappointed in you posting this epistle.
    First you refer to a board upon which your child scribbles as a "blackboard".
    Now as I was sitting with fuck all to do (kind of a bored black) I thought I would educate you a little.
    Darts are not miniature spears at all. No no they are in-fact a phallic symbol. When you throw one it emulates sperm being ejaculated, and when it hits a number you have scored.
    Now if you miss the board, this is symbolic of spraying the headboard or as we black people say, fuckin clumsy and get a towel.
    A phallus is as you may know called a love dart in some cultures, as it isn't in mine we will ignore it.
    No a dart is like an eruption of the sperm into a waiting vagina and when it strikes home it means you have scored and should be celebrating fertility and love.
    Now go away and consider all I've said and if it makes sense to you, best of luck trying to explain it to a child and best not to even attempt to convince the war office, they don't understand men's talk especially this load of ethnic bollocks.
    Oh and forget the coloured chalk, just get him a box of crayons and show him current affairs.
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