The_Caretaker
War Hero
Two of Bill's sperm were racing toward the cervix and the first one said, "How far do you think it is to the fallopian tubes?"
The other one said "It can't be too far. I think we just passed the tonsils."
.........................................
What do you get when you cross Ted Kaczyski with Monica Lewinsky?
- Dynamite Blowjobs.
..........................................
Did you see Monica Lewinsky had an advertisement with a white ring around her mouth?
It said, "Not Milk"
.........................................
What did the FBI find in the pocket of Monica Lewinsky's dress?
A wad of Bill's.
.........................................
What is Bill Clinton's Second favorite movie?
"Octopussy"
...........................................
One day, Bill and Hillary went out to dinner. The waiter asked Hillary what she wanted. She said, "I'll have the steak, well done, potato, chicken soup..." and the waiter asked, "and the vegetable?"
Hillary said, "Oh, he'll have the same".
...........................................
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
- His dick was stuck in the chicken
............................................
Did you hear what the FBI determined about Monica Lewinski?
Not only is she a slut, she's a messy eater too!
...............................................
What's the difference between Monica Lewinski and a vacuum cleaner?
Mouthwash.
................................................
What did Clinton tell his lawyer after Monica Lewinski testified?
"She said a mouthful."
...................................................
I feel schizophrenic; first he says 'open your mouth,' then he says 'keep it closed.'"
.......................................................
What's Monica Lewinsky's favorite place in Washingto D.C.?
Under the beltway.
.......................................................
What was the last gift Bill gave to Monica?
Spot remover.
......................................................
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One of them was blown away in the back of a limo, the other was shot to death.
....................................................
Clinton said that his relationship with Monica was inappropriate, in fact it was wrong.
What's the difference between inappropriate and wrong. Well, inappropriate is like wearing black shoes with brown pants. Wrong is wearing black shoes and no pants.
...................................................
Did you know that Bill Clinton really was supportive of Monica throughout thier tryst?
He kept telling her, "Chin up young lady, chin up."
......................................................
What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?
At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of "Deep Throat."
.......................................................
How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony?
"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth".
.......................................................
Why couldn't Monica swallow?
Because that would be destruction of evidence.
.....................................................
Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.
......................................................
Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't know what "staff" they really meant.
......................................................
Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He wants Marv Albert to do the interview.
..................................................
Unexpectedly, the first to score in the Super Bowl was Bill Clinton.
......................................................
The other one said "It can't be too far. I think we just passed the tonsils."
.........................................
What do you get when you cross Ted Kaczyski with Monica Lewinsky?
- Dynamite Blowjobs.
..........................................
Did you see Monica Lewinsky had an advertisement with a white ring around her mouth?
It said, "Not Milk"
.........................................
What did the FBI find in the pocket of Monica Lewinsky's dress?
A wad of Bill's.
.........................................
What is Bill Clinton's Second favorite movie?
"Octopussy"
...........................................
One day, Bill and Hillary went out to dinner. The waiter asked Hillary what she wanted. She said, "I'll have the steak, well done, potato, chicken soup..." and the waiter asked, "and the vegetable?"
Hillary said, "Oh, he'll have the same".
...........................................
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
- His dick was stuck in the chicken
............................................
Did you hear what the FBI determined about Monica Lewinski?
Not only is she a slut, she's a messy eater too!
...............................................
What's the difference between Monica Lewinski and a vacuum cleaner?
Mouthwash.
................................................
What did Clinton tell his lawyer after Monica Lewinski testified?
"She said a mouthful."
...................................................
I feel schizophrenic; first he says 'open your mouth,' then he says 'keep it closed.'"
.......................................................
What's Monica Lewinsky's favorite place in Washingto D.C.?
Under the beltway.
.......................................................
What was the last gift Bill gave to Monica?
Spot remover.
......................................................
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One of them was blown away in the back of a limo, the other was shot to death.
....................................................
Clinton said that his relationship with Monica was inappropriate, in fact it was wrong.
What's the difference between inappropriate and wrong. Well, inappropriate is like wearing black shoes with brown pants. Wrong is wearing black shoes and no pants.
...................................................
Did you know that Bill Clinton really was supportive of Monica throughout thier tryst?
He kept telling her, "Chin up young lady, chin up."
......................................................
What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate?
At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of "Deep Throat."
.......................................................
How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony?
"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth".
.......................................................
Why couldn't Monica swallow?
Because that would be destruction of evidence.
.....................................................
Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.
......................................................
Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't know what "staff" they really meant.
......................................................
Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He wants Marv Albert to do the interview.
..................................................
Unexpectedly, the first to score in the Super Bowl was Bill Clinton.
......................................................
