On our return from the South Atlantic in 82 we took some leave then went on a little shagfest tour of the UK, 1st stop Bristol. Just promoted to the dizzy rank of PO I experienced my first mess social fcuk me 10 years younger than other mess members it was a shagfest, ended up with a twosome sister spunkfest tied to the bed, adrift next day still in rig knob like a fighting dogs ear, joss says Stan your in the shit only because the skipper likes a good dit. Table next day biggest table I've ever attended, spun dit, boss chuffed to fcuk and the ex missus never found out. Went back every night for 3 days I swear it took 2 inches off my knob. Next stop London another social ,trapped went home, woke up when front door opened by hubby coming home from nightshift, running naked round the bedroom with him waving a big fcuk off carving knife jumped out the bedroom window naked and had to dial 999 to get back onboard with nutter chasing me around the town.