Best Whore house

Achmed

Lantern Swinger
#61
Tas-ape said:
Told to me and definitely not experienced by me:

In Bombay (now Mumbai) there is an area called the “Cages†so called because there is no glass in the windows just metal bars. We has just de-mobilised a job in the Bombay High Oil field and were standing by on flight arrangements back to the Dubai. One of the lads, on the team who hailed from Oz and who had been in the area before suggested we all troop down the cages as in his words “You have to see it to believe it†Off we goes and I tell you what a pathetic place it is, and incidentally caters for all tastes.
In one of these slightly higher classed knocking shops there was a three tiered seating affair in which the girls of all nationalities sat. The meat rack as the Ozzi lad remarked. Basically you picked a girl and she took you into a portioned cubicle which was curtained off. As you entered this area an old woman was sitting at a desk with a pile of white towels. She took the money, and I think at that time it would have worked out at around fifty pence. She also would ask if you wanted a condom. Underneath the desk was a bucket, with a milky white fluid (Dettol) and floating around were USED condoms. Yuch!!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]

Now thats bad, but it mad me laugh......... :whew:

Golden, you bitting hard on pillows is nothing new :money:
 

Tas-ape

Lantern Swinger
#62
geoffg said:
Neptune wrens block in the 70's
geoff(ers) :nemo:
Fluck me that brings back memories. Back seats of the SA's telly room after the duty PO foxtrot oscared to her pit. Or was it a killick SA ?? :thumright:
 

Tas-ape

Lantern Swinger
#63
Talking about ladies of leisure: Did you hear about the old retired Admiral??
He decided one day to have a nostallgic trip down the dock yard to view some pussers war canoes. After the trip he then proceeded to what was his old watering hole for a couple of pink gins. After his wee drink he was heading home when a young lady asked him if he fancied a bit of buisness. As this, was for him a trip down memory lane he agreed and orft they went to the young tarts flat.
As the old Admiral is getting down to it he says "Well my dear how am I doing?
She says about three knots!
He says three knots whatever do you mean?



Well she says...............................scroll doon!!













1) Your knot hard!

2) Your knot in!

3) Your knot getting your money back!!!! :thumright:
 
#66
Bahrain in 65 when serving on the Gurkha , on one of our runs ashore decides to go to a whore house after having a few tinnies . Jumps into a fast black driven by the legendary local driver Scouse(i kid you not and with the accent).So we gets dropped off at this hostelery, venturing into a passageway with two benches either side ,at the end was a doorway either side .Comes to my turn goes into this room could just make out this fat lump laid on a rush mat with legs akimbo(thought bollocks when needs must)after doing me duty we returned back for some more tinnies.The end of the ditty was that one of the lads who ventured into the other door caught a right dose and had to be flown home!!!
 
#67
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
 
#68
I was in Amsters last weekend. Apparently, the city council have plans to clean up and fully pedestrianise the red light district and canal street.
 
#69
matlow-mattress said:
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
The hundreds of men on the ship :p?
 

Achmed

Lantern Swinger
#71
matlow-mattress said:
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
PM me, i am back in the UK next month........at least you wont have to pay...well you can buy me a few beers
 

shellbackmac

Lantern Swinger
#72
It would have been the best! I went to Prague to watch Scotland back in the nineties. A fellow matelot at Whitehall informed me that his oppo had visited the best knocking shop in ten navies whilst out to watch Man U v Sparta Prague. Armed with the address of said establishment in my grubby mit I headed to the Czech Republic for football and fornication. After a day of cheap ale with the troops I made my excuses of 'an early night before the game' and with a smug grin and a semi jumped in a taxi. It pulled up at an imposing victorian style building and the driver gave me a wink and what I took to be the Czech phrase for 'fill your boots son!'. It was like a posh hotel reception with a gorgeous bit of stuff manning the desk. She ushered me to a sofa in the entrance hall and explained the 'deal'. All inclusive booze, all inclusive 'hide the sausage' until 9am the next day, with as many pit-stops to change birds as you liked, and even a breakfast thrown in! Top of the bill I thought and was already half-undressed, then clutching in slightly realised the question of 'ow much?' hadn't been posed. 'Oh you will find our rates most agreeable' she smiled ..........it worked out to be approximately 4000 pounds sterling for the night. B*stards! I made my way off into the night, totally deflated (literally!).
 

Tanzi

Lantern Swinger
#73
Definitely not the best but if you like squalor and don't mind a dose then try the cages in Bombay! (Probably close to to that new town, Mumbai).

"And he squoze and he squoze and a green blob arose!"

No tot for fourteen days and a visit to the very discreet Special Treatment Clinic in Terror (where everyone in the queue knew what you were there for and laughed like fcuk).
 
#74
Achmed said:
matlow-mattress said:
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
PM me, i am back in the UK next month........at least you wont have to pay...well you can buy me a few beers
Now theres an offer. A few shandies in return for a scuttling, damn your cheap, I hope your cheapness has no reflection on the quality of your performance lol
 

Achmed

Lantern Swinger
#75
matlow-mattress said:
Achmed said:
matlow-mattress said:
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
PM me, i am back in the UK next month........at least you wont have to pay...well you can buy me a few beers
Now theres an offer. A few shandies in return for a scuttling, damn your cheap, I hope your cheapness has no reflection on the quality of your performance lol
Absolutly not........the quality of the tongueing you will get is second to non, it will be like a bull dog licking up a kilo of spilt icecream off the floor (achmed does not look like a bulldog) a good hour of that should get you going :lick:
 

Achmed

Lantern Swinger
#76
Achmed said:
matlow-mattress said:
Achmed said:
matlow-mattress said:
Out of nothing more than pure curiosity, are there such establishments to cater for the womans needs? I mean I know we get a fair deal with vibes, dildo's and all that kind of thing. But nothing truly beats a good back scuttling from a man. So are there places that a woman can visit to get her juices flowing whilst away?????
PM me, i am back in the UK next month........at least you wont have to pay...well you can buy me a few beers
Now theres an offer. A few shandies in return for a scuttling, damn your cheap, I hope your cheapness has no reflection on the quality of your performance lol
Absolutly not........the quality of the tongueing you will get is second to non, it will be like a bull dog licking up a kilo of spilt icecream off the floor (achmed does not look like a bulldog) a good hour of that should get you going :lick:
Not up for a good licking then M-M :naka:
 
#77
Asked me if I wanted "Mitt von hund" in Hamburg, put me down for that says I.
Just on the vinegar stroke, she whistles & in rushes a little poodle & licks all round me arse, bloody loverly.
After a rest she asks me if I fancy another go. Are you kidding? bring it on.
Same routine but just as the poodle comes rushing in so does the gestapo.
outcome was I was fined 100 marks, she was fined 200 marks & the bloody dog got his licence endorsed.
 
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