Best ways to cope with training

#1
Hi I'm back again. Since I posted on here a while back I was having a really rough time with anxiety but thankfully I'm pleased to say that I have improved significantly

The problem began around July and just got steadily worse and simply found coming in my RNR unit to be too much for me. I am now wanting to return to training since we are now into a new year.

The problem remains however, that I'm not somebody who is terrifically thick skinned and take matters to heart when I'm shouted at and can feel very hurt. This is largely due to the aftermath of experiences I had in my first job after leaving school where I just could not do anything right in some of my colleagues' eyes, including my team leader, and I'd be berated in front of my other work mates and made to feel useless and humiliated. I think the main problem has been owing to that, when you take into account how training is delivered when you join the Navy and why I haven't been able to make the same kind of progress as some of the others because I just fear it coming.

Does anybody here have any idea how best to conquer this or could offer any words of wisdom or advice please?
 
#2
Have you thought of doing some Outward Bound type of courses to boost your confidence. Sounds to me like you're just suffering from low self-esteem.

Personally I've always found that those that bully and bluster do it to cover the fact that they're crap at their jobs and just regard them as such, so water off a ducks back!
 
#3
I think that you might benefit from the kind of help which is obtainable via the IAPT service, Sheila. I suspect that what you are describing is a problem which is undermining you in other areas of your life and not just in the sphere of your training with the RNR.

https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Psychological therapies (IAPT)/LocationSearch/10008

Speak to your GP, too. A few sessions with the counsellor in the surgery might be a suitable alternative.
 
#4
in Plymouth we have a self federal, talking therapy called options, look in your local area to see if you have the same, help is out there but unfortunately you have to ask for help. Good luck
 
#5
Hi,

I know exactly what you mean, when you refer to being shouted at and taking it to heart. I went through HMS Raleigh 10 weeks basic training, and not a single day was I not afraid of messing up myself or for my class. I made the stupid mistake of leaving the Royal Navy during phase 2 because my feelings in basic were still the same afterwards and it was making me miserable. It took me to leave to realise how wrong I approached training.

I approached training thinking I couldn’t do it, and that I would never be the standard needed to please others. Because of this attitude, I ended up hating tasks but doing them to a riducously high standard and not even knowing it!

In week 2 everyone was getting shouted at for being poor at everything. And it broke me, as I was working my ass off and it still wasn’t good enough. This lead me to going to my DI for support, and this is when he took me to one side and I will never forgot what he said. He basically told me that I’m not struggling and my kit for a week 2 is well above standard, and that he even came and personally checked my drill exam because he knew I was worried, he said phase 1 is a game and you need to play the game. A lot of it is seeing how you react, and shouting is just part of the game that you just need to accept. Even when you may be doing extremely well, shouting at people can make people redefine their limits and push well past what they thought their limit was (I found this out for sure).

Sorry if I went off point, but what I’m trying to say is you need to approach training with the mindset that ‘this isn’t for ever and play the game - don’t take everything literally (especially during phase 1) (but don’t ignore things either!!)’ and the attitude ‘I can do this no matter the task and I am prepared to go well past my limits mentally and physically’

If you have that mindset and attitude you will go very far (being thick skinned helps but is definitely not needed). I found out the hard way, but you need not to worry about what might happen and focus on what will happen. You might get the odd telling off, but just accept it and move on - nobody is perfect. And remember shouting is part of military training, and it might mean A task is genuinely being done piss poor (so start giving 110%) but it also might be trying to trick you mentally (in which case rise above it and continue putting in 110%).

Sorry for the waffle, but really hope you achieve what you want to achieve. Good luck!
 
#6
And I forgot to say don’t overthink it! Sometimes I think or even say random /somewhat relevant things out load so I don’t overthink or start hating what I’m currently doing. And even just the action of smiling can make a difference. Sounds stupid I know but definetly worked for me at times
 
#7
My only point for dealing with anxiety is that a) generally you'll surprise yourself with your ability to exceed the required standard and b) talk to people about it.

Being in the RN is a team sport, make use of your team.

And the point about Phase 1 being a bit of a game is entirely true.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#8
Practice basic psychological techniques such as; self talk, positive control, muscle relaxation and when a situation arises that makes you feel anxious try to keep yourself busy and tasked.

Also this sounds like a wife’s tale but take a cold shower in the morning every now and then and other things like that as it boosts self confidence by taking you out of your comfort zone
 

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