Best things "Stolen/Borrowed" whilst drunk


All in Dartmouth... Christmas of 1991 (HMS Guernsey)

A Christmas tree from out side a shop(with fairy lights attatched).
Then the next night the sign 'merry Christmas to the thief's who stole our tree' from the same shop :angel12:

Also we pinched that many decorations from a pub (or attempted to) the landlady came over with a handful of unused ones saying ‘we could have them if we left the ones hanging up alone’.

The light bulbs off the big Christmas tree in the square (they were all bonny colours and bloody hot).

Well we did not have chance to buy our decorations as we were at sea!!!


War Hero
Second-hand dit, but factual nevertheless.

Faslane Nineteen Hundred and I don't remember.
HMS ABDIEL had been visiting and, as you do when
the visit is go to Harbour Stations and
f**k off down the Gareloch.

So they duly f***ed off down the Gareloch with a
posse of Wrens onboard who had been partying
hard the previous night....this was, of course, many
DECADES before Navy girlies actually went to sea.

All these "ladettes" (from inboard Neptune/Commcen
Faslane etc), were discovered, secreted in various
bunks/sleeping bags and hidey holes around the skimmer
as she negotiated Rhu Narrows I believe.

Mister Abdiel had to turn around a bit sharpish on exiting
the narrows and bring 'em all back.

Watched the Skipper/1st Lieutenant promising the Ships
Company 13 different painful deaths on the focsle when
she got back in........and a load of sheepish lookin' females
being herded down the gangway where a large blue wagon
awaited, along with a couple of giggling regulators.

So that's it - HMS ABDIEL....almost responsible for the RN's
only recorded incident of attempted white slavery.



Lantern Swinger
Whilst on Zulu in San Juan, Puerto Rico, three of us stole the Yankee snowdrops patrol jeep from outside a bar whilst they were indoors said establishment sorting out a punch-up. Got us back to the docks alright and with the help from some equally pissed Merchant Navy lads off a nearby Harrison Line cargo ship loaded the jeep into the tweendecks of No 1 hatch on their own ship. Bet there were some red faces the next morning when the local dockers turned up for work and someone had to explain that one to the Yankee plods LOL.

Red Sailor


War Hero
clanky said:
Whilst I hate to let the truth get in the way of a good dit, the job title Corro has not been used for years. Do they still have them on MWVs?

Not sure if they still do use the title in the Fish Patrol world but they did on board the OPV's when I was in until I left in 2003 after that I don't know.


I was going to tell you about the time I 'borrowed' a RAF pedal cycle in Gib and was chased by an ambulance containing Gib coppers(eventually caught me) but 'Redsailor's' story beats mine (unless you want the whole story which was eventually made into a film starring Leonardo Di Capri and Kate Winslett. They did alter it bit and our ship eventually sank.)


1992,NAS Cecil Fields, Florida. Part of the squadron,801, had detached there for a short while. One day we "borrowed" one of the yank flightline aircraft tugs. There must have been about 8-10 of us clinging to this thing,designed for only two!! There we were,thrashing it about the flightline, much to the amusement of no-one but ourselves. that was until the thing caught fire.The driver had left the handbrake on. Upon discovering we were "going down in flames", we duly parked up(more like, abandoned) said vehicle in the middle of the nearest hangar and disappeared pronto. No, i don't know why we dumped it in a hangar...

On another occasion, same squadron, can't remember where but myself and another guy came back late one night to find a mess oppo flaked out in the mess. This guy had no teeth, only dentures. So, for a giggle, we borrowed them.Don't ask why...Until we broke them. Not wanting to get caught,as this guy was a bit handy with his fists,and came from the hard part of Glasgow we put him and his teeth to bed.
It was interesting to hear him the next morning when he got up,saying he couldn't understand how his teeth had come out and were broken,too!! Funny as Fook watching him trying to talk for a while afterwards,as he only had the one set with him.


Christmas circa 1970 in Singers - 3 P and O boats (including mine)alongside depot ship HMS Forth, with a skimmer frigate alongside on the opposite side of Forth.
We decided that the trot sentry needed some form of seating to make his hours of duty more comfortable, so instigated a raid on said skimmer's bridge, unbolted the skipper's chair, and brought it onboard the inboard boat, placing it just in front of the fin. Just to confuse the issue, the boat's nameboards were swapped around (alcohol is a great planning tool!)
Seemed a good idea at the time, and the trot sentry was grateful - not so the bunrun on the skimmer! Total sense of humour failure, and their quarterdeck party got a right bollocking for being totally unaware of our raid.


Book Reviewer
1961 - two of Highburton's sailors thought the walk down to the ship from some pub up on the Bill was a bit far so borrowed a JCB that someone had left loafing. Being sensible chaps and it of course bright yellow, they didn't try and bring it through the gate but parked it in Castletown and walked the last bit. Still I hope spoiling Dorset Constabulary's score sheet as an unsolved crime.

1956 - Newfoundland's gunroom acquired a large brass gong from outside a Singapore police station (they all had one hung outside in those days). Consular signs were popular too, very decorative, you had to step over the guard sleeping on his charpoy to get at them.

Same year, in Aden - Modeste's Battle Honours Board. Bad day for Modeste's OOD.


I could go on and on about this - one more - an RNVR National Service mid from Triumph who stole the ensign off a Spanish frigate in Pollensa Bay inbroad daylight - Varyl Begg had to put on sword and medals and go and apologise.
Xmas day 1966 in fremantle, we are tied up astern of a russian cargo ship.
One of our stokers climbs up the stern rope of the russian ship, rips the hammer&sickle flag from the staff, and dances all over it. Our skipper had to do a quick dash over to the russians, bearing bottles of whiskey to get him back and prevent an international incident.


A fishing boat!!!!!!! in the early 90's whilst on a course at CTCRM, I and a couple of others from 42 went to see Thunder (chad rock band) at Bristol, got so pissed on the way there . missed the band amd stayed on the lash, promised the bus driver we'd be good on the way back but eventually got kicked off bus at Exeter, no taxi in Devon would take us back to Lympstone! Olly said he had a plan!!!!!!!

At this stage we were near some club looking for a taxi down near the waterfront.I,d fell asleep when Taff said that Olly had got a boat!!!!!!!
"Hereboy!!! we'll just go down the river in this!!!!" A little boat about 12 foot long with like a small garden shed at the front. outboard on back.
Off we went down the River Exe . It was easy. turn left at CTC ! Left the boat on the mud flats and climbed the fence at the bootom field!!!!

Next morning the lads on guard came bursting into the grot!!!! Telling us that the Police were at the main gate looking for the twats that had nicked the boat!!!! EH????? HOW did they know it was us? Well the tide had'nt took the boat away as expected, it was just stuck in the mud!
Due to the trail of mud heading straight to the block! it was pretty clear that Royal had been up to some antics!!! Ah ! After cleaning up like fcuk we evenually got the summons to the Sgt Major!!!!

He knew it was us !!!! it was obvious! but we denied every ounce of it! He fcuked the cops off saying it was no-one from here.
It even made the local news.... A close one! And a good Sgt Major!

Latest Threads

New Posts