best one liners

Watching "life on Mars" always has me in stitches over the lines that DCI Gene Hunt comes out with, last nights classic line when questioned how throughly he'd investigated a case was "I've come at this from more angles than Linda Lovelace"....Classic, anyone know any more class one liners?
 

spider_monkey

Lantern Swinger
“If I were your wife I would poison your coffee,â€
“If I were your husband, madam, I would drink it.â€
Winston Churchill
 

carlm

Lantern Swinger
“When I've got nothing better to do, I look down the league table to see how Everton are getting along.†:mrgreen:

“This city has two great teams - Liverpool and Liverpool reserves.â€


“If you're not sure what to do with the ball, just pop it in the net and we'll discuss your options afterwards.â€


“Above all, I would like to be remembered as a man who was selfless, who strove and worried so that others could share the glory, and who built up a family of people who could hold their heads up high and say, 'We're Liverpool'.â€


“If Everton were playing down the bottom of my garden, I'd draw the curtains.â€


Bill Shankly what a legend
 
3. All generalisations are false, including this one.

4. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Finally, and most apposite:

5. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

:grin:
 

slim

War Hero
Said to a mate of mine by a dolly bird.
Don't you think that one arsehole in my knickers is enough!
 
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